Hoover67 Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Ok so i have been gooing out with my girlfriend for almost four years. During the early stages of our relationship we moved away from home, halfway acrossed the world. While living away my girlfriend went back home on vacation without me. The first night back she got super drunk and made out with an old interest from college. She told me the very next day about what happened. I of course took it very hard but after time forgave her and thing went back to normal. Exactly one year later the same thing happened only this time she waited to tell me about what she did. When she arrived back to our place to waited two days to tell me about what she did. Needless to say i exploded and we didnt talk for a while but still lived together. We began to talk in the week after she told me but i found it impossible to forgive or get the actions out of my mind. She decided to go to therapy a really took her mistake serious. The question i have is how do i get back to normal? Its beens more than six months and I still cant get her actions out of my mind. I forgave her but and she thinks everything is ok. She still goes to therapy but i dunno how to get over what she did to me twice. Anyways just wanted some other thoughts or opinions. How would some of you handled this problem?
IT Geek Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." This appears to be a pattern. Was it the same "old interest"? If so, I don't think it's too "old". Repeat offender with a track record. Get out while you can. Odds are it will happen again and this time she won't tell you.
mammasita Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Back when I was younger, I would blame my actions on alcohol. Not an acceptable excuse, but I honestly drank so much that I didn't remember what I was doing. Alcohol turned me into a wanna be porn star dancing in cages at the club and allowed me to do things with no inhibitions - and I wouldnt remember WTF I did the next day. It was quite embarrassing actually. I digress. I dont doubt that your GF has a crush on this "old flame" because alcohol intensifies feelings. She wanted to make out with him, alcohol gave her an excuse to do it. I agree with IT Geek though, repeat offender. 2
Author Hoover67 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 It wasnt the same guy. Two different guys but two of the exact same circumstances.
Author Hoover67 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 (edited) nfdobodfbpdb Edited November 30, 2012 by mes2372 repeat
mammasita Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 It wasnt the same guy. Two different guys but two of the exact same circumstances. Well there you have it. Find a woman who respects you.
Trixis4kidz Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I'm going to give a contrary opinion here on this for you. It appears as if you've already forgiven her, or at least said the words. The main question I get from you is - how do you get past it. The way to get past this is to focus on other things. You don't give any details to your relationship, sounds like you're living together. So if that's the case or even if it's not - focus on the good qualities that she has, and the good times that you have together. She has chosen to seek out therapy, so maybe it would be a good idea for you to also partake in a couple of sessions, get things off your mind. Communicate with her your feelings (not in an argumentative way), talk more, play more, and overall just make the conscious effort to put the incidents in the past and move on. This is up to you. She can't do it for you. So if you genuinely want the relationship to continue, it's up to you to get over what happened. And if you find that you just can't - then you can do as everyone else has suggested and leave her.
Blastoplast Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I wouldn't be able to forgive her. Alcohol is just an excuse for somebody to be an *******. I've had numerous opportunities to cheat on my girlfriend when I was drunk off my ass, the best one was a girl telling me how she exercises her kegel muscles and was looking for a cute guy to make out with. I told her as much as I'd love to, I have a girlfriend (somebody whom she was actually friends with). So as tempting as it was, it was pretty darned easy to say no. The ball is in your court. 1
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