Miss No Good Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 So my ex and I still like each other, we've both worked on our mistakes, we've matured from the experience. Sure, we've had our fair share of arguments about the break-up, we've cooled down, we had periods of NC, we reconciled, and now we're stuck. Several months have passed since our break-up and even though we've been to hell and back, went from strangers to close friends once again, I find that I don't know what to do. We both like each other and have noticed the changes in each other. It's no longer the happy-go-lucky relationship it was before because we know all the flaws in each other, but we accept them. We are no longer that drama couple where I storm off and expect him to chase after me. We both matured and have learned that being in a relationship means much more than that. We have lots of fun when we're together, we can talk to each other when we're upset, and we're comfortable with each other in a way that we have with no one else. Sure, there's still some issues, but it's a work in progress. There's no more pretending in order to only show the other person our nice and caring sides. We know every part, down to the last cynical part of one another. However, something is holding us back. I'm not quite sure what it is. It could be that we're both scared that the past will repeat itself. We could be scared of hurting each other again and then losing each other for good. We could be scared of the expectations that come with a relationship. We could feel so overwhelmed with work and life in general that a relationship sounds too serious. Has anybody been through this and know how to move onto the next step? I want to be in a relationship with him and try again, but I do not want to have to force him into one. For me, I know that if he wanted to try again, I'd be willing to, but something is holding him back too. Is there anyway to convince him to try again? However, if I'm just wasting my time, then what can I do? We're super close so I want to keep the friendship at the very least. Suggestions?
movingon12 Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Well it seems to me you have 2 real options: 1) You tell him that you want him to be your boyfriend again and see what he says. (Have you tried this?) 2) You accept that you aren't going to get back together and the end the friendship. You are never, ever going to move on and find someone else if you are still hoping to reconcile with your ex, so you need to find out if that's even on the cards. If it's not, and to him you're just a 'friend', it's going to end badly. One day he'll start seriously dating someone else, you'll be really upset, you'll have a massive argument about it, and you'll be miserable and he'll be confused.
Author Miss No Good Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 Well it seems to me you have 2 real options: 1) You tell him that you want him to be your boyfriend again and see what he says. (Have you tried this?) 2) You accept that you aren't going to get back together and the end the friendship. You are never, ever going to move on and find someone else if you are still hoping to reconcile with your ex, so you need to find out if that's even on the cards. If it's not, and to him you're just a 'friend', it's going to end badly. One day he'll start seriously dating someone else, you'll be really upset, you'll have a massive argument about it, and you'll be miserable and he'll be confused. If there is an underlying reason like the ones I listed above, is there a way to get past that? Or is it just some chance you have to be willing to take? If he isn't willing to take that chance, then I go NC? Or can I still be friends with him, but limit the amount of physical time I spend with him? Should I tell him that or just stop responding to him for a while?
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