Loving is also letting go.

[church9832]

So its been 4 months since she dumped me. Nothing horrible. She just fell out of love, she never broke my heart, she gave it back (my own words).

 

I'm starting to let someone in again but taking it extra slow, because I don't want this new girl to replace my ex, that's unfair and selfish. I want to love her not put my exs face on her.

 

I also met another girl, she's cool and interesting and we clicked a lot but with the girl I'm currently seeing, I prefer her just abit more. More real I feel.

 

Anyway it just hit me, when you love someone, you have to realise that you will eventually have to let go, every single one. Even THE ONE, because even after marriage eventually one of you will die first and you have to live the rest of your life without them or death if you drop first.

 

I guess I'm fortunate to be able to feel these feelings. But the only feeling I suppressed from this break up is anger, when I feel angry it just let it go because I know it's not who I am, and I hate being another person. I like being me no matter how unsatisfactory it is to other people.

 

Anyway, that's my two cents of love.

[th90]

3 weeks ago, my boyfriend of more than 7 years told me "I don't think things are working out. I don't feel the same anymore. We should break up".

 

I was devastated. Still am.

 

But I tend to find some inner peace when I repeat this to myself "If I really love him, I MUST let him go. If we were meant to be, we would cross paths again".

 

And that's my two cents of love.

[church9832]

3 weeks ago, my boyfriend of more than 7 years told me "I don't think things are working out. I don't feel the same anymore. We should break up".

 

I was devastated. Still am.

 

But I tend to find some inner peace when I repeat this to myself "If I really love him, I MUST let him go. If we were meant to be, we would cross paths again".

 

And that's my two cents of love.

 

I used to say that,

 

After a month of the break up, we spent a holiday together cause we planned it a long time ago, I had to see how she really felt with my own eyes. I did and had the hope ripped out of me.

 

It was her way of saying 'don't wait for me, there's nothing here for you. Don't let me be the one who puts YOUR life on hold, you owe me that. Live your life without me, find someone who will love you. Just because you want me doesn't mean you'll have me'

[th90]

What she said is true. The deal is the meaner she was to you, the easier you would be able to move on.

 

Don't you feel much better now? I'm glad that you are moving on slowly, but definitely.

 

It's gonna take forever before I can let someone else into my life. I have 7 years of memories to deal with.

[church9832]

What she said is true. The deal is the meaner she was to you, the easier you would be able to move on.

 

Don't you feel much better now? I'm glad that you are moving on slowly, but definitely.

 

It's gonna take forever before I can let someone else into my life. I have 7 years of memories to deal with.

 

Have you done your breakup rituals yet lol?

[th90]

Haha please enlighten me!

[church9832]

Haha please enlighten me!

 

Well for me

- watched 500 days of summer

- stayed in bed for a whole day

- stayed in my room for two days

- had sex (it was a LDR so no sex for 4 months)

- took 30 minutes of my day to sift through the memories and cry my heart out

- talked to my ex as friends (it was fine though)

- started looking at other girls again

- wrote a positive message to myself and read it every morning

[th90]

For me it was crying fits everyday. No proper meal (couldn't eat). Stayed in bed all day. Reading break up tips from all over the world lol. Sigh. Still seem like this whole break up thing is just a bad dream. Never would have thought I needed to read break up tips. No sex, no being friends. It's NC and NC and NC.

 

The best thing is a long quiet walk in the park. It helps so much. But I'm only able to do that on weekends. So far, no meeting new people yet. Not ready. I want to put everything behind and won't be ready until I wake up one day not thinking about how he would come back.

[th90]

By the way, I start to feel that this break up is a learning process. I have not truly loved him until the break up occurred. It is when you don't expect anything in return that you truly love someone. Throughout the 7 years, I was always expecting him to be something, to do things for me, I expected my love be returned equally.

 

Now? I can settle by loving him and wishing him well and happy always. I don't need to "own" him. I don't need my love to be heard, felt and returned anymore, above all.

[church9832]

For me it was crying fits everyday. No proper meal (couldn't eat). Stayed in bed all day. Reading break up tips from all over the world lol. Sigh. Still seem like this whole break up thing is just a bad dream. Never would have thought I needed to read break up tips. No sex, no being friends. It's NC and NC and NC.

 

The best thing is a long quiet walk in the park. It helps so much. But I'm only able to do that on weekends. So far, no meeting new people yet. Not ready. I want to put everything behind and won't be ready until I wake up one day not thinking about how he would come back.

 

You know, the best way and I can vouch for this is

 

- stay out of the house as long as you can, the crash into your bed so your too tired to think

- if you have a job, as your manager to bury you with work as much as they can. Explain what your going through and they will understand

- go to the gym and run like you never have before, don't think just run. When the memories start, run faster. Not too fast or you'll fall off.

- the gym is the best, not only that your mind will be busy but your body will change and your bf is missing the new you.

 

Take the break up as an indication that it's time for a new you. It sounds shallow and not right, but you are never the same person throughout your life, you will always change, only you have the choice to make that change better you