Write off a guy who did not put out?

[kaylan]

If I was the first to reply to your thread - I would only have the op to go by right?, so I am not sure who actually looks stupid here since you are unnecessarily calling me stupid. When you can clearly seen that my intial response stated that I didn't read anything outside of the op.

But you arent the first to reply to my thread. And as forums generally go, most people at least read a page or two of a thread before jumping to conclusions that have already been addressed as unfounded. Not my fault you were lazy and willingly put yourself in the position to make unfounded assumptions. Excuse me for thinking thats stupid.

 

Since if you must know - I wrote the reply when the thread was posted but forgot to submit since I recieved a call at work. However you decided to not only reply to my initial response but my second response in the same post where you can obviously see that my initial response was missing some information.

This doesnt excuse laziness and not reading the thread. And it doesnt excuse making unfounded assumptions about someones intentions or character. You can say you didnt do that but you clearly made some insinuations about my intentions with this new girl.

 

Plus I never generalized you by your gender. I didn't make any assumptions - you have been on this board long enough for me to have a opinion on what I know of you. I already said I didn't say anything about your intentions so please don't act as if I said anything about you. My second comment was in response to someone else and I never said it about you.

If you second response was in reply to someone else, why in the world would you have it quote me and then talk about how so many other girls get led on...and that you wont contribute to that. Excuse me for seeing that as someone flat out saying they think Im up to no good. No need to say in your reply to me that you wont help women get mislead if you dont believe im misleading anyone

 

Plus from what I know - you can tell this girl that you don't even want a relationship with her and she can twist it any way she wants and let her self get lead on. That comment wasn't about guys leading girls on but girls letting themselves get lead on. So again I was not talking about your intentions in regards to letting a girl know it as it is.

Very well then, however, as I said...if I sense a girls not on the same page as me, I back off.

Kaylan if you end up at some chicks house and you tell her that you rather wait until you both have discussed stds and pregnacy and she opposes or feel rejected. You should run for the hills. I personally don't see how that isn't a common thing. You should be put off if you mentioned this and she was put off. Do you get my point there?

Of course Ill bail

[peytondoll]

Meh, I already know you are jaded when it comes to men and dating. So based on your posts, your doubt of my being able to find a good relationship doesnt concern me.

 

When you consider a lot of people are physical with each other before the commitment part of dating, Id call those FWBs turning into a relationship.

 

Well good luck finding a guy whos ok with oral and no sex for a long time. I can understand doing that for a little while, but even I know a woman wouldnt put up with me doing that more than a few times.

 

And most guys sleep around? Are you serious? Thats so false. Most guys dont even have the ability to sleep around. Planned Parenthood isnt representative of the entire population. Its filled with people who dont make smart sex decisions.

 

Id argue that chemistry can be built if theres at least a decent attraction foundation. Chemistry can definitely increase as you learn what each other likes in sex.

 

And who is anyone trying to use as a sex object? I hope you dont mean me because I specifically said I want more than a pump and dump. Im not using a girl as a sex object if Im trying to connect with her beyond mechanical sex.

 

You sure do seem better, because instead of reading my OP for what it is, you are emotional and upset that a guy dare wants to have sex with a girl without committing to her. In what way do I only want a hole if I said I want to make love to this girl, connect with her on a friendship and emotional level?

 

If I was just wanting to hump away and get my orgasm, then shed be just a hole. But I never said I wanted just that. Stop putting words in my mouth, and stop hearing what you want to hear because your bitter about men.

Honey, if you really lucked out in dating, you wouldnt be so negative and bitter.

 

And trust me, if you knew me in real life, youd love to be with me, because I treat my girlfriends fabulously. Not that it really matter if you dont think Im relationship material. I know Id be a great boyfriend, but I chose not to be anyones boyfriend at the moment.

 

Its funny how you pass judgment on me and the guys you used to have FWBs with as not being relationship material...yet youll deride me as using women for just holes and leading them on when they want more...when you did that exact thing to the guys you used to fvk. Talk about a hypocrite.

 

I NEVER EVER LEAD THEM ON. Do I speak English? I have no doubt in my mind based on my replies that you will lead a girl on.

 

FWBS are NOT dating. Fwb's mean there is NO DATING. Clear? Not the same. Another one of your excuses to justify your behavior.

 

No its not hypocritical. 1) I never lead them on ever I was always very clear. You are not going to be...the second a girl pulls back and wants more I have no doubt in mind youll say whatever you can to manipulate her based on how you rationalize hurting other people. 2) They werent relationship material- that doesnt make me a bad person. You will do this to girls that are relationship material and clearly deserve better. I gave a **** about good quality men, you dont give a **** about good quality women.

 

Have you ever thought I have average experiences when it comes to dating...but I have this gracious gift called the use of a BRAIN? You know...where you see things happen contiually around you...and you make connections...dear lord you must prey on weakminded women.

 

Highly doubt youd make a good boyfriend- you sound egotistical and manipulative. You probably attract weak minded girls that have no substance.

 

I also said in my other post I get physical before committing. I am not a person to rush into something so of course I do. However, hurting and manipulating other people disgust me. All of my FWB's had the same attitude as you by the way- someone who viewed me first as a hole and then used that "oh i want to emotionally connect" always turn out to be super selfish and not good relationship material. Thats why I didnt want to be with them!

Edited November 27, 2012 by peytondoll

[SmileFace]

Kaylan like I said before - how about you p.m me the details of your thread since I won't and I say again won't waste my time reading irrelavent ****. Regular people would either have ignored my post that didn't seem relavent but you keep trying to push this forum decency about reading a thread before posting. Haha...yeah sure. Don't worry I won't be replying to your threads again because I am too lazy to waste my time again.

[kaylan]

Kaylan like I said before - how about you p.m me the details of your thread since I won't and I say again won't waste my time reading irrelavent ****. Regular people would either have ignored my post that didn't seem relavent but you keep trying to push this forum decency about reading a thread before posting. Haha...yeah sure. Don't worry I won't be replying to your threads again because I am too lazy to waste my time again.

Why are you replying again then? Stop replying and go back to you lazy forum behavior. I dont care about "forum decency", Im simply trying to make sure you dont look foolish by jumping to conclusions or touching on things that have already been mentioned. *kanye shrug*

I NEVER EVER LEAD THEM ON. Do I speak English? I have no doubt in my mind based on my replies that you will lead a girl on.

Why should I believe you? They ended up lead on and wanting more though didnt they? Youre the one lambasting me as a user who sees women as sex objects (because you fail to read), yet Im supposed to take youre word for it that youre not. You arent taking my word on anything...so you dont deserve the same.

 

In which case, I have no doubt in my mind that you lead these men on because you saw them as merely a male vessel with a penis attached, worth nothing more to you then sexual pleasure. And why? because they dared to want a FWB just like you did...but of course you view them as not good enough despite sharing their views in the hookup.

FWBS are NOT dating. Fwb's mean there is NO DATING. Clear? Not the same.

Look up the definition of dating. FWB the way Im doing it is casual dating. Relationships are serious dating. Not every FWB has no dating. Some folks only have sex and do nothing else together. I on the other hand plan to get to know this girl, be her friend, do things together and hook up. Its dating, but casual dating without the commitment.

 

Please do a search on what casual dating is. Casual relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

No its not hypocritical. 1) I never lead them on ever I was always very clear. You are not going to be...the second a girl pulls back and wants more I have no doubt in mind youll say whatever you can to manipulate her based on how you rationalize hurting other people. 2) They werent relationship material- that doesnt make me a bad person. You will do this to girls that are relationship material and clearly deserve better. I gave a **** about good quality men, you dont give a **** about good quality women.

I dont care what you have to say. If you want to put words in my mouth, and jump to conclusions about me even though Ive said the contrary, then I can do the same to you.

 

I said in this thread that I back off of women who want different things than I do. I even have life examples I could share....yet you ignorantly say Im going to hurt someone carelessly. Even though Ive said I dont hurt women and that I make sure that I dont. Why so thick headed and bitter

 

And wow....you can rationalize using and hurting guys you deemed not relationship material...yet you want to make some prediction that Ill do the same thing to relationship quality women? How stupid. And lets not miss the fact that relationship quality can vary person to person. Those guys may have been relationship material to another girl.

 

Either way, unlike you, I dont selfishly use people and hurt them when I know they may or will fall for me. I dont rationalize it by calling them bad relationship material

 

Hypocrite you are, to the max.

Have you ever thought I have average experiences when it comes to dating...but I have this gracious gift called the use of a BRAIN? You know...where you see things happen contiually around you...and you make connections...dear lord you must prey on weakminded women.

Now Im preying on women? wooooow you really are somethin' sweetheart

Highly doubt youd make a good boyfriend- you sound egotistical and manipulative.

I may have an ego somewhat, but manipulative? Isnt that the pot calling the kettle black. Arent you the girl who uses guys for sex even if she knows theyll fall for her, and rationalizes their pain away by calling them bad relationship material. Just because you told them you didnt want more, doesnt mean you didnt lead them on. You still used them and continued to on with them knowing theyd fall for you.

 

Id love to meet you though. Because youd have no idea how to pick up on who I am. You think you know me from writings on this forum? Dont kid yourself hun.

Edited November 27, 2012 by kaylan

[peytondoll]

Why are you replying again then? Stop replying and go back to you lazy forum behavior. I dont care about "forum decency", Im simply trying to make sure you dont look foolish by jumping to conclusions or touching on things that have already been mentioned. *kanye shrug*Why should I believe you? They ended up lead on and wanting more though didnt they? Youre the one lambasting me as a user who sees women as sex objects (because you fail to read), yet Im supposed to take youre word for it that youre not. You arent taking my word on anything...so you dont deserve the same.

 

In which case, I have no doubt in my mind that you lead these men on because you saw them as merely a male vessel with a penis attached, worth nothing more to you then sexual pleasure. And why? because they dared to want a FWB just like you did...but of course you view them as not good enough despite sharing their views in the hookup.

Look up the definition of dating. FWB the way Im doing it is casual dating. Relationships are serious dating. Not every FWB has no dating. Some folks only have sex and do nothing else together. I on the other hand plan to get to know this girl, be her friend, do things together and hook up. Its dating, but casual dating without the commitment.

 

Please do a search on what casual dating is. Casual relationship - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

I dont care what you have to say. If you want to put words in my mouth, and jump to conclusions about me even though Ive said the contrary, then I can do the same to you.

 

I said in this thread that I back off of women who want different things than I do. I even have life examples I could share....yet you ignorantly say Im going to hurt someone carelessly. Even though Ive said I dont hurt women and that I make sure that I dont. Why so thick headed and bitter

 

And wow....you can rationalize using and hurting guys you deemed not relationship material...yet you want to make some prediction that Ill do the same thing to relationship quality women? How stupid. And lets not miss the fact that relationship quality can vary person to person. Those guys may have been relationship material to another girl.

 

Either way, unlike you, I dont selfishly use people and hurt them when I know they may or will fall for me. I dont rationalize it by calling them bad relationship material

 

Hypocrite you are, to the max.

Now Im preying on women? wooooow you really are somethin' sweetheart

I may have an ego somewhat, but manipulative? Isnt that the pot calling the kettle black. Arent you the girl who uses guys for sex even if she knows theyll fall for her, and rationalizes their pain away by calling them bad relationship material. Just because you told them you didnt want more, doesnt mean you didnt lead them on. You still used them and continued to on with them knowing theyd fall for you.

 

Id love to meet you though. Because youd have no idea how to pick up on who I am. You think you know me from writings on this forum? Dont kid yourself hun.

 

I clearly stated all my FWB's started off that way. They saw me as a hole in the beginning so I see nothing wrong with doing the same. So no, I wasnt leading them on. I guess you could say we were using each other. But rarely do FWB's work that way- usually one person isnt happy but the other is being manipulative. Over time a few did want me to be their girlfriend, but sorry I cannot take a guy who used me as a sex for a long time seriously. I highly doubt any of them would made good boyfriends they had other qualities that were a turn off to me. Some qualities are not compatible with relationships- being narcisstic and being impulsive for one. These guys would not have fulfilled my emotional needs. Doesnt make me a bad person...really I am only protecting myself. I would never dream of offering a FWB to a guy who has serious interest in me. With these men, it was clear that it was all physical. None of these men started off in love with me. I honestly think one of the two that tried to get me to commit just did it because he sensed me pulling away and doing that was the only way he could get regular sex...which is the thing men care about most over everything else.

 

Casual dating is different from FWB- so I will agree with you on that.

Edited November 27, 2012 by peytondoll

[CptSaveAho]

Kaylan,

 

No offense but you are the biggest "MAN" hater on the forum.

 

Look at the title of this thread "Write off a guy who did not put out?' Its like you are afraid to use your penis(manhood) and are ashamed of it and come here and post about it for validation and rationalization.

 

Really dude? I know 14 year old kids that go out and have sex and dont come to an internet forum complaining about pregnancies and stds and talk themselves out of sex. They can walk into any store and buy a pack of condoms

 

Its almost like you hate your manhood. Raised by an angry man hating mom?

[kaylan]

I clearly stated all my FWB's started off that way. They saw me as a hole in the beginning so I see nothing wrong with doing the same. So no, I wasnt leading them on. I guess you could say we were using each other. But rarely do FWB's work that way- usually one person isnt happy but the other is being manipulative. Over time a few did want me to be their girlfriend, but sorry I cannot take a guy who used me as a sex for a long time seriously. I highly doubt any of them would made good boyfriends they had other qualities that were a turn off to me. Some qualities are not compatible with relationships- being narcisstic and being impulsive for one. These guys would not have fulfilled my emotional needs. Doesnt make me a bad person...really I am only protecting myself. I would never dream of offering a FWB to a guy who has serious interest in me. With these men, it was clear that it was all physical. None of these men started off in love with me. I honestly think one of the two that tried to get me to commit just did it because he sensed me pulling away and doing that was the only way he could get regular sex...which is the thing men care about most over everything else.

 

Casual dating is different from FWB- so I will agree with you on that.

It doesnt matter what you say. You were careless with another persons feelings and are adamant about doing so....yet you wanna bash me despite my saying I wouldnt do the same. I havent done the crap you have, yet you wanna call me some user who sees this new girl as a hole when I explicitly said thats not the case.

 

Its beyond me how you dare pass the judgment you do on men, when you behave NO better. Saying "he did it first" is no excuse for being a selfish user yourself.

Kaylan,

 

No offense but you are the biggest "MAN" hater on the forum.

 

Look at the title of this thread "Write off a guy who did not put out?' Its like you are afraid to use your penis(manhood) and are ashamed of it and come here and post about it for validation and rationalization.

 

Really dude? I know 14 year old kids that go out and have sex and dont come to an internet forum complaining about pregnancies and stds and talk themselves out of sex. They can walk into any store and buy a pack of condoms

 

Its almost like you hate your manhood. Raised by an angry man hating mom?

Im a man hater because I want to set up a good FWB arrangement for myself without ruining my life with STDs or kids? Lmao...thats rich.

 

I have every right to be cautious about using my manhood considering 1 in 4 people in my age group have some form of STD, and that unplanned pregnancies are common.

 

14 olds dont complain online because many of them are stupid and end up teen parents. Grow the fudge up dude. Im trying to be smart so I can have all the fun sex I can without kids and diseases. Im not stupidly going to run risks and ruin my dating life because of it.

[peytondoll]

Ok kaylan let me break it down for you.

 

Rushing sex while expecting a girl to not be emotionally invested is using someone. If the girl is fine with this it is not using her since you made it clear. You want to have good sex with a girl whose fine with being used? Nothing wrong with it.

 

However, you describe wanting a FWB yet call it dating. People that date expect commitment assuming youre compatible. FWB's are what they are- using a person for sex. If doesnt matter if youre compatible or have great chemistry. Its a person you ****, maybe hang out with a bit but has no potential of going anywhere.

 

If the girl is fine with being used- go for it and I never said you doing that is a bad thing. But the other person is right- your validation and rationalization is astronomical. You purposefully blend the boundaries so you can get what you want.

 

Of course you want to connect on a emotional level with a girl...not because you care about her, but because youve figured out like many men an emotional connection is what is needed to string a girl along and to keep her wanting regular sex. Its very smart and I can tell youre smart. However, guys that do this are manipulative. Your mind will not grasp this concept. I dont need to lecture you anymore- one day you will hurt someone and youll realize Im right.

 

Keep trying to convince yourself about how you care so much about girls you do this to. You are the definition of "having your cake and eating it too" google what that phrase means.

Edited November 27, 2012 by peytondoll

[Pyro]

Didn't they just close one of your threads for being a troll?

 

Hey kettle black? Pot is on the phone for you.

[bolase]

Im not going to lie...right now, Im looking for someone I can have sex with, connect with on a physical and emotional level, but without all the dicey-ness of a relationship. Its possible Ill like her more than a FWB...but right now I just want something casual, fun, and fulfilling companionship wise. So im not just into her for a pump and dump. I do want to be friends and spend some time together not having sex.

 

That's called a girlfriend dude. You are looking for a girlfriend because you want all the benefits of a girlfriend, you just have this idea that it being called a relationship somehow changes it and commits you to the future or something.

[Imported]

I clearly stated all my FWB's started off that way. They saw me as a hole .....

 

You are more than that!

 

 

 

 

 

You have three holes, boobs and butt cheeks that can be pressed together, two hands, a pair of feet, under-arms, and thighs that can provide pretty good friction. If you are really good, you can make a guy orgasm just from a lapdance and I am not talking about virgin dorks at a strip bar. Don't sell yourself short.

[kaylan]

Quick summary update:

 

Hung out two nights ago, had some drinks, danced, stayed at her place. Had a fabulous night....really good physical chemistry...shes a very giving lover. Had another round in the morning before I left for the day...played halo all day and relaxed on my day off. Spent the night again last night...watch part of a movie...had more fun....slept holding each other.

 

All in all shes a really nice girl, and despite having some reservations Im gonna have an open mind about all this. She did make sure to mention to me a few times that she hopes to hear from me and see me again...and I made sure to tell her each time that Im not the kinda guy who has sex with a girl and stops talking to her. She really likes me, and I enjoy my time with her, so Im gonna make sure we get to know one another well.

 

And yes we talked about stds and birth control before we did anything. I actually brought it up first, and she was impressed at the fact that I did...because apparently a guy has never brought it up first to her. I asked her "Is this safe healthwise?" and she told me yes and even told me when she was last tested. So yeah, it wasnt awkward at all and things went smoothly after that.

That's called a girlfriend dude. You are looking for a girlfriend because you want all the benefits of a girlfriend, you just have this idea that it being called a relationship somehow changes it and commits you to the future or something.

I guess. The relationship tag just seems like an all-in proposition where Im vulnerable and the girl is vulnerable. And I dont like the idea of people getting hurt. And Im still getting comfy with the idea of being "tied down" again. Then again, usually when I hook up with a girl I like I dont stray to anyone else anyways....so Im confusing really.

Edited November 29, 2012 by kaylan