joe321 Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Okay, just gonna vent. I have been fine for a few continuos weeks of NC. Being out with friends, talking to other girls, and spending thanksgiving without her has made me forget her and when i do think of her i don't get upset like i used to. Today she texted me a picture of something both of us joked about when we were together (1 year). I did not answer and she replied later with "I would never ignore you, I guess this makes you feel better". I was furious and texted her back im ignoring you because you left me for someone else and expect to be able to text me whenever you want. This led to a text fight that lasted the whole day. She is in "love" with a new guy and still texts me every few days. She says we cant be together now and says dont say never. I know she is just saying this to drag me along in case something goes wrong. Im an idiot for answering her and showing her i still care and love her.
Indy C Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Doesn't make you an idiot. Makes you human. In my book the fact that you stood up for your self is a win. My ex was the same way when we first broke up. Left me for another guy and expected everything to be fine between us. I finally snapped on her and vented in the same fashion and now its been NC for a full month. By fighting back you let her know that BS isn't going to fly. If she didn't get it before she does now.
bpdr Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Okay, just gonna vent. I have been fine for a few continuos weeks of NC. Being out with friends, talking to other girls, and spending thanksgiving without her has made me forget her and when i do think of her i don't get upset like i used to. Today she texted me a picture of something both of us joked about when we were together (1 year). I did not answer and she replied later with "I would never ignore you, I guess this makes you feel better". I was furious and texted her back im ignoring you because you left me for someone else and expect to be able to text me whenever you want. This led to a text fight that lasted the whole day. She is in "love" with a new guy and still texts me every few days. She says we cant be together now and says dont say never. I know she is just saying this to drag me along in case something goes wrong. Im an idiot for answering her and showing her i still care and love her. Yep. You're a CLASSIC case in stupidity by letting her know how you feel. STOP IT. And do it now. NC with her. You need to move on now that you understand her motives more clearly. Let her go. She's gone.......... Focus on yourself now. Grab another sweaty betty and that's all. This girl is stringing you along. She sucks. Buh-Bye! -----> Do it NOW! BP
Exit Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 bpdr - your post came across a little harsh, so I chose to view your post history and it struck me as a bit ironic. You've been all over the forums lately having this hard-nosed attitude about NC, but scrolling a little further down your history, I come across threads like "7 signs that she's still holding on?". It's great if you finally turned a corner and accepted that you needed a reality check about what was going on in your life, but you don't have to turn that into this militant attitude seen above. You were so aggressive, I knew exactly what to expect when I dug into your post history, you're someone with a new found understanding that NC was what you should have done all along, and now come hell-or-high water you're going to tell everyone the same thing. I'm not even disagreeing with you that NC is the best for the situation being discussed in this thread, simply saying that it's not exactly the most polite way to go about it by telling someone "yup, you're a classic case of stupid!". If you're mad at yourself and your own naivety for how long it took you to go NC with the woman in your life, that's fine. But your bitterness is really apparent in the way you're responding to other people lately. Why not find a more civil way to express to others what you learned and why you feel NC is best. Anyways, joe321, your ex successfully baited you with her comment about "I wouldn't ignore you, guess it makes you feel better". And it's understandable that a comment like that would light a fire under you and drive you to respond back. But you saw how that turned into a big long argument with someone you shouldn't even be speaking to anymore. I'm starting to realize there is more than one shade of NC that people around here attempt to do. Almost everyone does this half hearted version of NC where you don't contact your ex anymore but you still leave the lines of communication open, which easily allows something like you just experienced to happen. I try to suggest to people that they take more responsibility for the NC that they are claiming to participate in. This coping forum is filled with people who come here to say "argh! I was doing so well with NC and then my ex texted me / wrote to me on Facebook / whatever". Take a more proactive approach to your No Contact. Every form of communication available to us today has privacy controls and ways to block people. Your ex can't send you a text message and force you into a struggle with your own will power, if she can't send you a text in the first place. Let's eliminate the whole "victim" mentality from the NC picture. We all need to stop complaining that we were doing so well with NC but then they contacted us. It's like complaining that a burglar came into your house. You didn't even invite them in! ....But you admit you left the door unlocked. That just means you didn't protect yourself. I think going NC but leaving the doors of communication unlocked so our exes can break in is a self-sabotaging way of doing it. It's a form of NC for people who aren't really committed to NC. Commit to it. NC should mean you do want to talk to them and you don't want them being able to talk to you. Lock those doors. Block her number, or change yours. You're not an idiot for answering her, but you're at fault for her even being able to contact you anymore. 2
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