theLWord Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 So I broke up with my ex gf about a month ago (I'm a lesbian, don't think that matters.) We dated a year, we were long distance 3.5 hours apart. We basically only saw each other a couple weekends a month if that. I broke up with her because she was horrible at communicating, was a compulsive liar, and ditched me on her birthday basically instead of wanting to see me, she picked her ''friends'' or other gf, who knows. I feel I had valid reasons and suffered much more than her when I ended this. I broke contact once begging for her back after about two weeks. It didn't end well and I'm pretty sure she already rebounded, so that grossed me out and forced me to let go of hope. Basically, I've been working on learning how to be by myself again, losing weight, being happier and less stressed. Still very sad, but accepting life without her. She just e-mailed me twice. "I really need to talk to you." Then, "It's very important, I wish you'd just unblock my number." I know I should've kept no contact but I freaked out and said probably the stupidest thing ever.. " There's nothing we have to talk about, it's not like we owned a house together or something. Please just let it go." My guess is she probably won't respond to this. I'm not unblocking her number, but in my head I'm still thinking, what if she does want to work it out and will magically become an amazing person? I don't want to set myself back and wish I hadn't checked my e-mail because I have an extra long day at work tomorrow and now I'm scared I'll worry about this all day like I was. What should I do?? What if she responds?
Arabella Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 You may never know unless you do talk to her. You are right, you had perfectly valid reasons for breaking it off... and just now she is starting to see what is life like without you. She may finally have realized how much you meant to her. I'm sure everyone here will advise you to stick to NC... but me? I'd want to find out. Give her one chance to explain herself and then decide for yourself. If she sounds ANYTHING but eager to redeem herself, then go back to NC and never break it again. Good luck -A 1
moveONorStay Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 I'd find out if the reason is truly genuine...if it's merely a ploy to get you to talk then I would tell her that it's over and never to contact you again. Then I would block her email address 1
Author theLWord Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 (edited) Okay, so I unblocked her number and said” what?” She said ” owned a house??” I said” what do you want?” She said” why won't you talk to me?” So after about 80 texts and me mentioning she didn't even call me, she still didn't call me. First problem, will second because it clearly was a ploy to get me to talk to her. Then she said she missed me. I said I miss you too but its expected since we were together a year. She said ” I know I re live every moment.” Then she said, ” it just doesn't feel the same as you.” Which I'm assuming she means sex and that she rebounded because she asked me if it felt the same for me. I told her I never want to feel how I did with her again because I've learned a lot not talking. I got angry with her responses. She didn't even call. She didn't apologize for lying. She still said she didn't put me on the back burner. She said she couldn't believe I didn't come see her on her bday, but she blew me off. I'm angry at the moment. I said, ” I've come too far to go back to how I felt when I was with you.” Which was distrust, rejection, depression. Am I being unreasonable for thinking she hasn't said the things to convince me anything yet? I pretty much shot her down. I forgot to add, she said, ” I want a conversation please.”.I said, ” you can call me now.” Then she says, ”.I work sundays now.” doesn't it seem odd that we text for over an hour and she never mentions the fact that she's at work, then when I tell her she can call, she mentions it. She used to get off work no later than 12 on a sunday(she works at a bar.) Then she tells me she's working at 1:30?? In my head, I think she's lying about that and is probably has someone else close by her while she's texting me. She didn't even say that she'd call me after she got off work. What does anyone think? Edited November 26, 2012 by theLWord
I'm nuts Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Once a compulsive liar always a compulsive liar. Oh, by the way, when someone/ex says I miss you, = sweet **** all.
moveONorStay Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 1:30 is a bit late to call...give her 3 options of times that are suitable for you to talk. Tell her to pick one. If she can't talk or breaks the arrangement after making one, cut her off.
Arabella Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Cut her loose. She had her chance to make things right and she wasted it. Time for you to move on. Go back to NC and DO NOT break it.
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