vitani Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 I became close with a friend recently through a long conversation and a late night (4 AM) talking about our past relationships, as well as other things. I have known him for 4 years and I have always been very attracted to him, but both of us had been in a long term relationship when we lived in the same city. I got out of a 4 year relationship 3 years ago and him a 3 1/2 year one almost 2 years ago. Both of us were very hurt and broken hearted by these break ups and seemed to bond over talking about it. I have since moved on, been in another relationship, and am able to be friends with my ex. He said there was absolutely no way for him to remain in contact with his ex and said that she was dating someone else now. I feel like I have moved on a dealt with it well and talked to him about how I got through it. I personally believe that you don't get over a great love until you find someone else, but I did not say this to him. We had a great night, but I didn't want to make any sort of advance after hearing him talk about his feelings for his ex. Problem is, I can't stop thinking about him. I got a pretty good sense that night that he was interested in me. We have been texting back and forth some, but have not seen each other since because I live in a city 5 hours away. What do you all think? Should I run for the hills or take a chance?
ja123 Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 5 hours is a bit far, but if you like, then take a chance and invite him out.
Author vitani Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 So you don't think it's a bad idea despite the ex? Fortunately, I travel out that way often because I have family.
veggirl Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 2 years and he is STILL not over his ex? I wouldn't bother. I think the healthiest and most permanent way to get over an ex is to do so on your own, without the crutch of another relationship. I certainly wouldn't risk being someone's rebound, even if it is 2 yrs later. Any wiff of "not over the ex" and I'm out. 1
Author vitani Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 Come to find out it's actually been a year. But still, that is a long time. Sigh. I guess I can take a seat back and see if anything progresses. Give him some time to get through this, whether or not the end result is with me or her or anyone else.
CptSaveAho Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Women and men are different... Men dont need approval and validation (being friends) with an ex to move on with life. I'm not friends with a single ex nor do i date my friends.
Tara247 Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Well, I went through this 2 years ago while dating a scumbag that wasn't over his ex. He didn't tell me he wasn't over his ex until I had wasted 5 months of my life skying him while he did a volunteer assignment overseas. While being entagled with him, I missed out on a possible relationship with another guy who I believe is a better person and would have been a much better fit for me. MOVE ON! The ones who are not over their exes, aren't worth your time.
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