SeekingHappiness Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 So I have been seeing this guy for over two months now.. will be three on the first of December. I'm falling in love with him, and he's already said that he feels the same way, but lately, I've kind of been getting mixed signals - I feel like my emotions are being "played" in a way. We both lead rather busy lives, so we don't get to see one another as often as we'd like, but usually, we talk on the phone at least three times a day. Lately though, I feel like he's been pulling away. Neither one of us were busy at all this weekend ... we usually spend our weekends together (Friday night to Sunday night) due to both of us having hectic weekday schedules, but not this one. I could understand if he was busy, or had other plans, but he's been doing nothing but sitting at home. I've also called him several times today, and he STILL hasn't called me back. I know it doesn't really sound like a big deal, but this is unusual behaviour for him. He SAYS he loves me & that he misses me, but then, why doesn't he want to spend any time with me? Like I mentioned before, it's hard for us to find time during the week - So weekends are usually our time together. I don't know what to think... Am I overreacting? Is he starting to get too comfortable in the relationship? Is he taking me for granted? Is he having second thoughts? Could he have another girl over there? I'm on an emotional rollar coaster here, lol. I'm not clingy - I don't tell him what to do or when to call, he usually just does, and I like that because then I know that he's thinking of me.. that he cares. It's funny how someone can make you feel so good and special, and now it just feels almost like he's stopped caring. For the time being, I've decided to wait it out and see if he calls me back, but when and IF he does, what should I say? Should I bring up the fact that I feel like he's being distant? And how do I do so without making it seem like I'm attacking him?
Car10e Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 I've learned a lot of guys do this. I'm kind of in a similar situation. I asked the guy I'm seeing if he has lost interest, because contact between us has gone down from when we first started seeing each other. He told me he was still very interested, and that he is comfortable with me. He assured me that is a good thing. Like you, I thought I was over thinking the situation. Which I guess I was. From my past relationship, I learned it is not a good thing to see each other a lot when you are first starting out. People become bored fast. My advice is sit back and wait for him to say something. You don't want to come off as needy. I know it is a SUPER sucky feeling, but try your hardest to not say anything. I went a day without saying a word to my guy, and woke up to a text from him the next morning. I guess what my point here is make him miss you. He probably has gotten comfortable with the relationship, but thats not necessarily a bad thing. He knows you are there, and probably feels he doesn't have to try to win you over anymore.
newmoon Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 (edited) i've been with my bf a year and i'm on day 3 now of absolutely no contact from him. no text, no call, no email. even after a year it still sucks to have a guy do this. but they all seem to do it, and they do it a lot. give him space. after 2 months the relationship is in it's very early stages and men will always pull back to reevaluate the relationship when it starts to get deeper. do your best to leave him alone and be friendly when he comes around. don't be mean, don't be upset and don't ask too many questions - that makes it worse. honestly, in most cases the guy is just off doing stuff and doesn't even realize he's upset you. and don't call him anymore or text him... if you've already tried then he knows you're out there and available, that's enough work on your part. it's not mixed signals... he's just being a guy. Edited November 26, 2012 by newmoon
pathetic1999 Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Do guys really do this all along the relationship? I was actually curious about this myself as I have been hitting this too, like really into me then no contact for a day or two then really into me. I can't figure it out, also only seeing me once or twice a week after the first month and half, is that normal? Everyone else I have dated is really INTO dating from the beginning so this is very different for me!
newmoon Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 Do guys really do this all along the relationship? I was actually curious about this myself as I have been hitting this too, like really into me then no contact for a day or two then really into me. I can't figure it out, also only seeing me once or twice a week after the first month and half, is that normal? Everyone else I have dated is really INTO dating from the beginning so this is very different for me! in my experience they do it throughout the relationship and the time away actually extends the more secure they are with you. so, after a year 3-4 days of no contact is ok, whereas at the start of a relationship 1-2 is more likely. just take it in stride and don't allow it to bother you. i used to panic that it meant they didn't like me/were cheating/lost interest/were out having fun, etc. until i just realized it's a guy thing and they need time to regroup (just like we do). seeing you 1-2 times a week after a month of dating sounds totally normal ... even after a year i get 3 days :-)
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