redrose123 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I feel horrible, it's been 9 months and I shouldn't feel like this I should be over it but I made the mistake of telling my ex I'd be his friend and we texted for 2 weeks, he told me he didn't want a relationship with anyone right now but about a week ago he started dating someone. I've cut contact with him once again but my sister told me everything that him and the new girl have been posting on FB and it's tearing my heart up all over again. I've blocked both of them but my family still has him as their friend and keeps telling me what they're writing to each other and they are constantly posting messages and pictures. I feel like an idiot, I should never have agreed to be his friend because its set me back. I just want to meet someone who will restore my trust in people. I feel so depressed and lonely. When will I feel like my normal self again?
emilywtf Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I would really strongly suggest asking your family to defriend him, or at the very least ask that they don't tell you these things. My ex was very well liked by a few family members and I had to ask everyone to remove him from their friends list. A few would not, so I asked that they not give me "updates" on him. Hard enough to live with the guy, but to see his check-ins with his various whores and the places they go cuts like a knife and prevents healing. Best of luck. 1
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Well the first step comes from you. 9 months is a long time and it sounds like you've been holding on to hope that he might come back this entire time?? YOU must decide that he isn't the one for you, and give up your hope. It'll be forced at first but over time you'll relish your new single life. Also, there is no such thing as being friends with someone you care about!!! All you're really doing is covertly trying to get him back, lying about things you're doing (dating men, who you're out with) to save hurt feelings and not harm the chances of getting him back. That is not the definition of friends. Not trying to beat you up, you've learned your lesson. It's more for others reading your story.
na49 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 You will feel like yourself again, you've felt good without him before so you are capable of doing it again. You need to cut off all contact as if it wasn't obvious enough. Tell your family to get rid of him, or unsubscribe from your family member's notifications so you won't see anything they are doing but still have them on your friends list. Being friends with an ex just doesn't work in most cases. At least in my case it hasn't, there are too many hard feelings between us although I was the one who was disrespected. For your sake, it's better to not be his friend, and start working on your life without him. Good luck, you can do this.
Author redrose123 Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 Thanks everyone for the advice. I was doing a lot better until he started texting me, I guess it gave me false hope. I told my family not to tell me anything he posts from now on. Maybe complete NC for the 2nd time will stick and work this time.
plee61 Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 9 months is certainly a long time, glad that you talked to your family and hope they understand it is very hard for you to hear about him. NC is very hard thing with BU. I use NC and I have never heard a word after he BU with me. That makes me feel hard. Sometimes, I search him on internet, old photos, old emails (FB blocked). Yup, I have to delete old photos, emails, completely no false hope. BU is hard.. I hope I will get over it quickly, his name will be just another stranger I met in life.
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