MrCastle Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 ok i get you i find it sooooooooooooo hard to express that kind of importance to someone lollllll.. as in that they;re so important and all that soppyness Maybe it's the amount of o's in "so" or the amount of l's in "lol" but this post made me sad. I'm picturing a valley girl who watches real housewives of atlanta because the storylines on jersey shore are too complicated to follow. 2
phineas Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Maybe it's the amount of o's in "so" or the amount of l's in "lol" but this post made me sad. I'm picturing a valley girl who watches real housewives of atlanta because the storylines on jersey shore are too complicated to follow. You owe me a new keyboard. LOL! 1
phineas Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 ye but why should i tell you all what i like or find attractive in the guy lollllll that is not important!!! why is it important what i think or feel... i'm asking about him.and what he thinks about me.. not the other way around You are the one in this thread. Not him. But let's summarize, you don't know what he's thinking & neither do we. You don't know what you are thinking & neither do we. You don't know what he wants & neither do we. You don't know what you want & neither do we. Now, I don't even know what i'm thinking.
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 Maybe it's the amount of o's in "so" or the amount of l's in "lol" but this post made me sad. I'm picturing a valley girl who watches real housewives of atlanta because the storylines on jersey shore are too complicated to follow. i'm a psych grad.. go figure whos the fool now?
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 Maybe it's the amount of o's in "so" or the amount of l's in "lol" but this post made me sad. I'm picturing a valley girl who watches real housewives of atlanta because the storylines on jersey shore are too complicated to follow. i quite love the fact that NOBODY has managed to figure me out but interesting to read your weak attempts
phineas Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I figured you out. I just didn't know you could get internet under a bridge. 1
mickleb Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 i'm a psych grad.. go figure whos the fool now? Hi candy87. I like your name! I'm not a guy and this is completely off-topic, so feel free to ignore me but I'm fascinated with psychology so was wondering if you could answer a question I have. I have recently heard of a condition(?) called 'narcissistic personality disorder' which I find really interesting but don't know much about? Did you cover it on your course and, if so, what do you know about it? Don't worry - if you don't want to chat about this in your thread I can start a new topic about it! Sorry guys!!! x
Emilia Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 can you answer my question now?? why does he tell me what he wants.like tell me how much he likes me..and then disappear for so long...??and doesn;t call?? I have the answer: because if you were really serious about your interest in him, you would have CALLED him yourself instead of firing off some text and hoping he would come running. I wouldn't talk to you either in his shoes. The guy has pride and backbone, good for him. Why call someone who ignored me for months because they were 'busy' just because they found a minute in their busy schedule to text me? F**k that
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 I figured you out. I just didn't know you could get internet under a bridge. right... what ever... hater lolllllllll weird how people who DON'T KNOW ME PERSONALLY.. speak like they hate me crazy
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 Hi candy87. I like your name! I'm not a guy and this is completely off-topic, so feel free to ignore me but I'm fascinated with psychology so was wondering if you could answer a question I have. I have recently heard of a condition(?) called 'narcissistic personality disorder' which I find really interesting but don't know much about? Did you cover it on your course and, if so, what do you know about it? Don't worry - if you don't want to chat about this in your thread I can start a new topic about it! Sorry guys!!! x u can start a new thread if you want? and i'll provide my input
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 I have the answer: because if you were really serious about your interest in him, you would have CALLED him yourself instead of firing off some text and hoping he would come running. I wouldn't talk to you either in his shoes. The guy has pride and backbone, good for him. Why call someone who ignored me for months because they were 'busy' just because they found a minute in their busy schedule to text me? F**k that i have pride too!!! which is why i didn't call either... i think the guy should do most of the work...if im being totally straight forward... not all of it but most of it... it just doesn;t work if the girl chases the guy... so i think a text is good enough... i didn't ignore him... i spoke to him...i probably didn't tell him that i would go out with him and everything would be great..but i didn't stop speaking to him either anyway he called me back so.. im gonna end up speaking to him at some point...
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 I honestly don't know. I try to avoid saying things like that to women, even if I'm thinking it. I like to be ambiguous and keep her guessing. He might be saying it in hopes that you will say it back. He might also be saying it to make you feel good. I generally don't say that stuff so its hard to tell because I can only speak for myself. How old is this guy and how old are you? ok not literally that "i like you" but basically everything else he says indicates that..and i'd be completely stupid not to think that
dasein Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 anyway he called yesterday, i missed the call (not on purpose before everyone starts screaming at me). any way when i call him back, i'll see what he sayss Why didn't you call him back right when you got the message? I mean you think enough of this situation to make a thread on it, then don't return his call until the next day? Spare any "too late at night" or "busy" rationalizations, you would have posted that. I think you are gamey, want to throw out crumbs to keep a back burnered guy in the attention supply, maybe other options aren't panning out as you would like, so it's fallback time, and have no real interest in this man other than when he doesn't "hop to" at your beck and call. Guys seeking dating advice here listen up, learn to spot this type of behavior and avoid these types like the plague. Keep yourself and your dating plans binary, and keep yourself sane.
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 Why didn't you call him back right when you got the message? I mean you think enough of this situation to make a thread on it, then don't return his call until the next day? Spare any "too late at night" or "busy" rationalizations, you would have posted that. I think you are gamey, want to throw out crumbs to keep a back burnered guy in the attention supply, maybe other options aren't panning out as you would like, so it's fallback time, and have no real interest in this man other than when he doesn't "hop to" at your beck and call. Guys seeking dating advice here listen up, learn to spot this type of behavior and avoid these types like the plague. Keep yourself and your dating plans binary, and keep yourself sane. he isn't a fall back... which everyone keeps thinking he is and how many times am i going to have to repeat it and say that he isn't? anyway... so its ok for him to take a whole week to reply then yes? strange who you call out my behaviour but then find it acceptable that he took his time to get back to me??? THE SAME RULES APPLY THEN. IF I SHOULD NOT BE TOO BUSY AND HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO GET BACK TO HIM...THEN ITS THE SAME WITH HIM!!!!!!!
dasein Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 He didn't come here and make a thread complaining about slow contact return, you did. Then you wait a day to return his call? The whole point of this thread was supposedly to get in contact with this guy you rejected in the past, yet when given the opportunity to do that, you wait a day? Your behavior is transparent and gamey. I -wish- he would come here and post so I could warn him off. He didn't reject you outright over time in the past, you rejected him. He didn't get advice here to be more proactive with someone whom one rejected in the past, you did. No double standard here at all, sorry.
Divasu Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 he isn't a fall back... which everyone keeps thinking he is and how many times am i going to have to repeat it and say that he isn't? anyway... so its ok for him to take a whole week to reply then yes? strange who you call out my behaviour but then find it acceptable that he took his time to get back to me??? THE SAME RULES APPLY THEN. IF I SHOULD NOT BE TOO BUSY AND HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO GET BACK TO HIM...THEN ITS THE SAME WITH HIM!!!!!!! Oh boy. OP It has nothing to do with phone calls and time a person responds or anything of that nature. The guy has repeatedly attempted to make plans with you, and you have not followed through. I don't know how you date in your world but you actually have to spend time together to consider it "dating". Which as of now the two of you are not.
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 He didn't come here and make a thread complaining about slow contact return, you did. Then you wait a day to return his call? The whole point of this thread was supposedly to get in contact with this guy you rejected in the past, yet when given the opportunity to do that, you wait a day? Your behavior is transparent and gamey. I -wish- he would come here and post so I could warn him off. He didn't reject you outright over time in the past, you rejected him. He didn't get advice here to be more proactive with someone whom one rejected in the past, you did. No double standard here at all, sorry. look this is what happened, he asked me if i would want to be in a relationship, he meant with him..but he didn't say "with me"...and then he said don't you want a boyfriend? again he didn't say do you want "me" to be your boyfriend.. so it was quite indirect i said.. no i'm content being single ..and i'm independent so no i don't feel like i want a relationship now.. i didn;t mean never or ever.. or with him or that i hate him just because there are reasons why i couldn't start to date him at the time, does not mean i don't like him as a person, and it certainly didn't mean i'd rather go out with someone else over him im just trying to say that sayin i "rejected" him is a strong word but fair enough i kind of see your point i just need to swallow my pride sometimes..and i find it easy to get back to those old habitss 1
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 Oh boy. OP It has nothing to do with phone calls and time a person responds or anything of that nature. The guy has repeatedly attempted to make plans with you, and you have not followed through. I don't know how you date in your world but you actually have to spend time together to consider it "dating". Which as of now the two of you are not. i know me and him are not dating... its just when it comes to guys and contact...i'm just like that in general, and for me pride is a big thing
Divasu Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 i know me and him are not dating... its just when it comes to guys and contact...i'm just like that in general, and for me pride is a big thing That's fine, but given how this is all laid out it's really his pride, versus yours, do you have suffered. Besides, pride is also one of the deadliest sins, and doesn't have much room within a mutually loving relationship, if it ever gets to that point with him or someone else.
grkBoy Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 its interesting you say that this is what guys worry about..because there have been so many times when he'll call me, and ask me where I've been..and then when i tell him i just met up with some friends, he'll ask girls or guys?? and then he'll ask "anyone special"? so he seems to be particularly interested in who i'm seeing lol.. so maybe that illustrates that he's thinking i could be in to someone else or meeting other guys that i prefer? Pretty much. I usually would equate any behavior like that from either gender as a "fishing" for information on what you're into and thus he's trying to figure out if he's got a shot. he wouldn't ever tell me his worries directly, he's not very expressive, so no matter what i say to him he'll be like thats kool, thats fine..like nothings a big deal to him lol... and because he's like that i just think he doesn't care anyway...kinda thing Maybe, but I'd also think he's trying to appear "masculine". Like it or not, society has told us men we're not supposed to be emotional or have feelings. Lord knows my sensitive/caring/emotional side has pretty much turned off many women in my past. Now I simply just be me and could care less if women run from it. I never bought into "a man has to be a certain way". can i ask you something else?? how long would a guy wait for a girl? lets say there are circumstances as to why she can't get in to anything with that guy..? but in the future?? OK, let's say it was me and you as opposed to him...hypothetically of course. Each of us are out with our "group", we met, chat a little, and I find you attractive and charming. We talk or see one another in the "group" and we seem to click socially. So I decide to try to ask you out on an actual date. You give me an answer that isn't a "no", but not necessarily a "yes". I would instantly feel you're just not into me or interested in dating me or anyone. I wouldn't really push it then. If you told me you are just busy or in a bad spot in life, I'd simply leave it alone. Best answer to tell someone like me is the honest one...but I pride myself on being mature enough to handle an honest rejection. Would I wait for you? Let's say it's months later, we are still polite and social to one another, but I'm not pursuing you, and then you texted me to say hi and that we should chill or hang out sometime. I'll be honest, I'd be perplexed why this woman who pretty much showed me she wasn't into me before would want to hang out now. I'd be curious if you suddenly "came around" or are running to me as some "backup plan". Granted if I saw you never dated or did anything with anyone, I wouldn't believe the "backup plan" notion. I dunno then. A part of me would back off, thinking you might have baggage or issues or something...mainly out of fear of getting burned. HOWEVER, if I wasn't seeing anyone I'd say "f**k it" and go out with you once...just to see what's on your mind. I get this logic from my MGTOW time and when I met my fiancee. I simply just decided to stop thinking too much, go out, have fun with this attractive woman, and not hold any hopes or expectations. Basically a "if it happens, cool...if not, then I'll enjoy the time I had" logic. i'm not saying this guy has waited for me but since he's known me he hasn't dated anyone else.. but who knows maybe the next time i speak to him...i'll find out that he is lol I think if you like this guy, or at least seem now in the mental state to date him, then tell him. If you happen to get on the phone or in chat with him, just say months ago you were in a bad spot, and you regret passing up the offer (that is if you actually regret it). Maybe something like that. I think if you wanted to get me out and give it a shot, then telling me something like that would probably make me take a chance. Might also help if you get those friends who told you to hang out with him to go give him a nudge... ...because it was friends who nudged me into meeting my fiancee. I will admit I wasn't interested in dating at all at the time.
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 That's fine, but given how this is all laid out it's really his pride, versus yours, do you have suffered. Besides, pride is also one of the deadliest sins, and doesn't have much room within a mutually loving relationship, if it ever gets to that point with him or someone else. so what do you suggest i do? like how shall i conduct myself lol
veggirl Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 GEEEEEEEEEEEEZ. If you want to hang out, answer his freakin phone call! Okay he took a week to call you, but you've blown him off / rejected him like 4378197483901 times. I don't blame him for waiting to call back. Damn honestly counting the days to call him back and stuff, it sounds like you are in high school. YOU can put an end to this dumb game by growing up and calling him. Holy crap. I mean really, "he took 6 days so I am going to take 6 as well! hahahahah that'll show him!!" REALLY?
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 Pretty much. I usually would equate any behavior like that from either gender as a "fishing" for information on what you're into and thus he's trying to figure out if he's got a shot. Maybe, but I'd also think he's trying to appear "masculine". Like it or not, society has told us men we're not supposed to be emotional or have feelings. Lord knows my sensitive/caring/emotional side has pretty much turned off many women in my past. Now I simply just be me and could care less if women run from it. I never bought into "a man has to be a certain way". OK, let's say it was me and you as opposed to him...hypothetically of course. Each of us are out with our "group", we met, chat a little, and I find you attractive and charming. We talk or see one another in the "group" and we seem to click socially. So I decide to try to ask you out on an actual date. You give me an answer that isn't a "no", but not necessarily a "yes". I would instantly feel you're just not into me or interested in dating me or anyone. I wouldn't really push it then. If you told me you are just busy or in a bad spot in life, I'd simply leave it alone. Best answer to tell someone like me is the honest one...but I pride myself on being mature enough to handle an honest rejection. Would I wait for you? Let's say it's months later, we are still polite and social to one another, but I'm not pursuing you, and then you texted me to say hi and that we should chill or hang out sometime. I'll be honest, I'd be perplexed why this woman who pretty much showed me she wasn't into me before would want to hang out now. I'd be curious if you suddenly "came around" or are running to me as some "backup plan". Granted if I saw you never dated or did anything with anyone, I wouldn't believe the "backup plan" notion. I dunno then. A part of me would back off, thinking you might have baggage or issues or something...mainly out of fear of getting burned. HOWEVER, if I wasn't seeing anyone I'd say "f**k it" and go out with you once...just to see what's on your mind. I get this logic from my MGTOW time and when I met my fiancee. I simply just decided to stop thinking too much, go out, have fun with this attractive woman, and not hold any hopes or expectations. Basically a "if it happens, cool...if not, then I'll enjoy the time I had" logic. I think if you like this guy, or at least seem now in the mental state to date him, then tell him. If you happen to get on the phone or in chat with him, just say months ago you were in a bad spot, and you regret passing up the offer (that is if you actually regret it). Maybe something like that. I think if you wanted to get me out and give it a shot, then telling me something like that would probably make me take a chance. Might also help if you get those friends who told you to hang out with him to go give him a nudge... ...because it was friends who nudged me into meeting my fiancee. I will admit I wasn't interested in dating at all at the time. lollllllllll.. don't get me wrong he's a lot lot LOT more expressive than i am...and i'm supposed to b the more emotional one he's actually said to me that i show no emotion lollll... he's actually told me he cares about me, and he's interested in my life, he'll pay me compliments and all of that.. but i never give that back to him the thing is even after he straight up asked me if i wanted a relationship in GENERAL...he didn't mention with him... and i said not really i like my independence and i like the freedom i have...he still continued to pursue me after that in different ways lol..so its not like he stopped... he's definitely not going to c himself as a back up plan,, he knows of the amount of guys who are pursuing me right now...and some of them actually normal decent guys with good jobs lol..and i'm not interested in a single one of them..and i even told him that are you saying he could fear of getting burned? because of my "issues" lol.. its not really baggage or issues for me hahaha..its more to do with my career and family..and how i can't spend that much time on a "relationship" at this time in my life... ok so.. i'm going to wait for him to call me or i'll just call him and see if he brings up us meeting up, i'm not going to talk about it at all..and just pretend i never asked... mainly because i'd know that if he's the one who talks about it..at least that way i'll know that he is interested still
Author candy 87 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 GEEEEEEEEEEEEZ. If you want to hang out, answer his freakin phone call! Okay he took a week to call you, but you've blown him off / rejected him like 4378197483901 times. I don't blame him for waiting to call back. Damn honestly counting the days to call him back and stuff, it sounds like you are in high school. YOU can put an end to this dumb game by growing up and calling him. Holy crap. I mean really, "he took 6 days so I am going to take 6 as well! hahahahah that'll show him!!" REALLY? LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL yessssssssssss i know its dum.. but look, its better to not show you're available all the time!!!!!!! and that is a good piece of advice right there for any person... not that i'm going by sherry argovs "bitch" rules... but i've always been that way anyway!
veggirl Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL yessssssssssss i know its dum.. but look, its better to not show you're available all the time!!!!!!! and that is a good piece of advice right there for any person... not that i'm going by sherry argovs "bitch" rules... but i've always been that way anyway! yeah but faking being busy or faking be not available all the time is just kinda lame. You are just setting a really dumb pattern...........
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