why is he not responding? (prefer guys to answer only)

November 26, 2012

I'm sorry but I beg to differ.

I don't know even ONE man that doesn't have his phone nearby or on his person at all times. The fact that you choose not to be tied to your phone and don't pay your bill sometimes which shuts off your service doesn't automatically mean that the rest of the male population behaves exactly the same way.

he got my message, i know this now because he decided to call me yesterday a whole week later.

November 27, 2012

I say if you're into him then go out with him. Stop beating around the bush. Stop saying you're too busy. Stop being "confused". Stop being wishy-washy. Stop overthinking it.

Men like a chase, but we also want to eventually catch you. If you make us chase you too long you end up shooting yourself in the foot.

Relationships are tricky. But its best not to be too easy or too difficult.

lolllllllllllllllllllllll. i do't know why but i'm like that when it comes to big things, i don't just jump headfirst.i'll have a good looooooooong think first

so where do you think he's at now?

he did call me, but did take his time in doing so

November 27, 2012

Don't try your best to follow through... DO IT. Don't be wishy-washy.

If you know you like the guy, but you don't want him humping your leg like a dog the second he sees you.. just TELL HIM that you want to move slow. Tell him he is a great guy, but you want to get to know him before going in that direction.

It seems like you're trying to manipulate him into doing things on your terms without any regard for what he wants or how he feels. I would attack you for this BUT.. since I do the same thing to women, I can't really talk :/

ok.. i'll take the first bit of advice on, plus how hard can it be for him not to want to do all of that extra stuff LOOOOOL..

dont you lot like to talk ??

He seems to be fine to me, really composed, doesn't bad an eyelid, isn;t breaking down in front of me...

so i don't know why people see it as my actions are really effecting him!! :confused:

its not manipulation lol... im not going to force myself to do anything just because he wants to!!!

i do what i feel i want to do, and if he doesn't like it im not going to agonise him with my company!!! goshhh, i dont see the big deal anyway

November 27, 2012

what about trying to make me jealous? to see if i actually do like him or not, i suppose thats the other option, but if it is the option you're talking about..instead of making me want to grab the opportunity, it puts me off more and makes me think he's not into me as much as he says he

Sounds like you're trying to rationalize his lack of interest into a subtle test of interest to protect your ego. He's moved on, unless he's a glutton for punishment, this is not a **** test, he probably doesn't care what you do or if you call him twenty times or never again, he may be finished with you.

If he's daring enough to try to stoop to your level of what he might perceive as game playing, he might try to have sex with you once and bail. But it sounds like he's done, and you probably wouldn't be interested in that anyway.

November 27, 2012

lol its not about being mentally sound..especially if the other post user here does that too, i think its quite common amongst guys to play games.

we talk on occasion, but we hardly ever see each other but he wants to see me more

i don't want him to just wake up one day and decide he doesn't want to speak to me anymore, i guess i have to tell him what im thinking then before that happens

and you are right i am a bit shy as well when it comes to this stuff, which is probably why i don't pursue him like other more aggressive girls.women might do...and i do take my time with a lot of things..
so i have to just tell him all that

anyway, guess what... he did call me yesterday,, took him a whole week to though lol.

Well, I'm going slip into the role of the majority of female posters on this board and say "No, you're wrong, because I'm not like that." And I'm not. I don't play games, and I don't accept bull****. Nobody's worth the trouble.

I guess the guy's just a sucker. I would've just figured you were definitely not interested in me at all, and I'd be offended if you actually showed interest after a few months. I'd probably have some nice words for you. I don't care what you'd be thinking, your verbal self defense would be like white noise to my ears as I watch that bridge burn and walk away.

November 27, 2012

That's fine. Just understand that attitude can have negative consequences. Sometimes you need to compromise in relationships. If you have him under your thumb, then you can probably get away with that attitude. If you don't fear losing him, same thing (but if you don't fear losing him then you don't really like him).

lolllllllll well being physical with someone when you don't really want to is quite a big compromise in my books hahha

November 27, 2012

Girls like you are the easiest to manipulate. You refuse to give into this guy.. yet you obsess over his next move.

I have a lot of fun with girls like you. I know your game and I know how to beat you at it

oh realllyyyyyyyyyy lollllll..:confused::cool:

well if i wasn't telling you what i was thinkingggg, you'd have no idea that i was "obsessing" over his next move lmao

and he has completely no idea that im overthinking what hes going to do!!

November 27, 2012

Well, I'm going slip into the role of the majority of female posters on this board and say "No, you're wrong, because I'm not like that." And I'm not. I don't play games, and I don't accept bull****. Nobody's worth the trouble.

I guess the guy's just a sucker. I would've just figured you were definitely not interested in me at all, and I'd be offended if you actually showed interest after a few months. I'd probably have some nice words for you. I don't care what you'd be thinking, your verbal self defense would be like white noise to my ears as I watch that bridge burn and walk away.

so you think because he ended up calling he's a sucker??lol

i really doubt it.. he wouldn't have called ever IF i hadn't had sent him that text so.....

November 27, 2012

you know what i'll admite to being a flake, but not in the sense of not knowing what i want or changing my mind, but more that i know what i want, what i don't want but havn't told him about it, and instead i just carry on talking to him without having resolved any of those issues, but at the end of the day he seems fine to be talking to me, its not like he's dying just because i have not explained myself to him about the whole relationship situation

ok lol.. i've never ever been hot and heavy with him, and also i never agreed to seeing him and then ended up flaking, i suggested to see him now, and will try my best to follow through on it,,

i'm not saying that i want to friend zone him, i'm just saying i want to hang out with him without all him being all coupley and affectionate with mee, that way you get to just see how you get on with the person without it becoming and official dating typw thing,,where you're all smooooochey.

You don't have to defend or explain yourself to me. Honest.

I just want you to get an idea of how the male mind works so you understand and thus adapt.

November 27, 2012

You don't have to defend or explain yourself to me. Honest.

I just want you to get an idea of how the male mind works so you understand and thus adapt.

lol.. ok koool..

i was being quite extra and descriptive here lol..mostly because a lot of the other users have given me quite a hard time on the way i "treat" this guy lol

November 27, 2012

so you think because he ended up calling he's a sucker??lol
i really doubt it.. he wouldn't have called ever IF i hadn't had sent him that text so.....

I still think he's a sucker. Once a flake, more than likely always a flake.

And unlike Leisure, I'm not so quick to paint a more positive picture of your innermost feelings. I don't think you cares that much, and you're basically getting what what you've been giving. Nada.

You think that being descriptive about your situation with this guy is showing that you really care? Actions speak louder than words. You shot yourself in the foot back when you first had the chance to further things with this guy.

November 27, 2012

Good point. But this answer proves that you are manipulative. You are definitely far from being totally open and honest with this guy. You are manipulating him.

Yea, that's my take on it too. She kept holding him at arms length when he was trying to get close to her, and she was enjoying the attention. So he finally said screw it and moved on like any normal guy would do. She missed the satisfaction of being in control and having him in pursuit mode, so she sends a text saying, "Hey, what's up?", and expected him to immediately switch back to pursuit mode so she could hold him at arm's length some more. I hope he has the maturity to see this for what it is.

November 27, 2012

for now i want to remain friends..but i also want to hang out with him more and see what he is like..and get to know him better etc..(i kinda already know him pretty well), but even better lol

i think the situation where it would be more than friends is a long way away...however i'm not saying its not going to happen ever

But what's in it for him? You spent months rejecting him.

November 27, 2012

So he called you - you missed the call and still didn't call him back. (I assume that because you mentioned him having called you about 10 times so I think it is safe to say you would also inform the forum when you have called him back..)

Why didn't you call him back? Not having the time yet?

Still having the time to post for hours about it, though, right?

So much for not playing games... some women are really good at lying to themselves.

November 27, 2012

He didn't exactly say no and didn't exactly say yes. It could be this is a really ambivalent time in his life.

In dating and relationships, this is called 'timing'. When he was ready, willing and interested, you were 'ambivalent' and had a lot on your plate with other things. Miss.

November 27, 2012

No one said anything about THAT. But you can at least meet the guy and spend time with him.

hence the text...lol

i just got to get back to him now phonecall wise..and see what he says

November 27, 2012

Good point. But this answer proves that you are manipulative. You are definitely far from being totally open and honest with this guy. You are manipulating him.

I'm starting to think you like him so much that you are scared of dealing with him in person. You fear that if he makes a move you won't be able to say no. Otherwise, you would have no problem meeting him face to face without all these games.

You fear you will sleep with him too fast and lose all the power. You fear he doesn't like you enough for your personality yet. You are holding out for genuine emotions from him so you can feel more secure.

Am I right?

i'm not being honest with him no, but that's just because that whole talk will be quite awkward and i'm not good with heart to hearts loll..i need to take my time to tell him

to say im manipulating him is still quite harsh, why do you talk like he is the type of person to be manipulated and that he's a puppet or something, i don't force him to do anything

and you're only 10 per cent right...the other 90 per cent is wrong.

you're right that im putting of meeting him, but its for other reasons

you're wrong that its because i won't be able to control myself around him...i highly doubt that lol

in fact i'm more likely to not give him anything in that regard...

November 27, 2012

I still think he's a sucker. Once a flake, more than likely always a flake.

And unlike Leisure, I'm not so quick to paint a more positive picture of your innermost feelings. I don't think you cares that much, and you're basically getting what what you've been giving. Nada.

You think that being descriptive about your situation with this guy is showing that you really care? Actions speak louder than words. You shot yourself in the foot back when you first had the chance to further things with this guy.

he called me back yesterday and i'm going to respond soon enough and see what he says...

i do care, i just don't show it...

its never always black or white... there are sometimes reasons that you couldn't even comprehend or ever figure out

plus..there have been weeks and months that have gone by and neither of us have called the other..and when we do finally get in to contact..he's still the same with me... he still appears to be interested...but then anyone could have said just because he hasn't called or messaged me..he's not in to me..

but now you know thats not always the reason

i think both of us have a pride issue..we're both stubborn as well when it comes to getting in to contact with each other we never wants to be the first one

November 27, 2012

But what's in it for him? You spent months rejecting him.

well,, if he meets me up now... we shall see where it goes...!!!

so he'll get what he wants eventually..but for now i want to keep it at a snails pace

November 27, 2012

So he called you - you missed the call and still didn't call him back. (I assume that because you mentioned him having called you about 10 times so I think it is safe to say you would also inform the forum when you have called him back..)

Why didn't you call him back? Not having the time yet?

Still having the time to post for hours about it, though, right?

So much for not playing games... some women are really good at lying to themselves.

no i didn't call him back you were right..

ok fine.. heres the reason i didn't.. he took six days to get in to contact with me after i sent him that text...

he calls me... i don't pick up... do i want him to think i'v been waiting all week for him to call me? no i don't..

now he can wait as long as i had to

ok call it game playing if you want..

but for me my pride is quite important .. i don't know about anyone else here

November 27, 2012

He didn't exactly say no and didn't exactly say yes. It could be this is a really ambivalent time in his life.

In dating and relationships, this is called 'timing'. When he was ready, willing and interested, you were 'ambivalent' and had a lot on your plate with other things. Miss.

could be

i don't know what is going on in his liffe right now

i can only know when i speak to him

November 27, 2012

no i didn't call him back you were right..
ok fine.. heres the reason i didn't.. he took six days to get in to contact with me after i sent him that text...

he calls me... i don't pick up... do i want him to think i'v been waiting all week for him to call me? no i don't..
now he can wait as long as i had to

ok call it game playing if you want..
but for me my pride is quite important .. i don't know about anyone else here

It is clearly game-playing. Just because you do it for your pride aka ego it doesn't negate the fact and calculating the time when to call in order to send a "message" is game-playing.

The most known rule in PUA is to wait in order to send the message that you are not all that interested, have other options, don't "need" someone, have better things to do and so on. It's not game-playing when this is actually true. But if you are sitting at home, talking on a forum to strangers about it for hours while purposefully not calling ... then you are playing games. It is not my interpretation, it is a fact.

November 27, 2012

It is clearly game-playing. Just because you do it for your pride aka ego it doesn't negate the fact and calculating the time when to call in order to send a "message" is game-playing.

The most known rule in PUA is to wait in order to send the message that you are not all that interested, have other options, don't "need" someone, have better things to do and so on. It's not game-playing when this is actually true. But if you are sitting at home, talking on a forum to strangers about it for hours while purposefully not calling ... then you are playing games. It is not my interpretation, it is a fact.

and what is your point?

he is no different, in fact he's worse .. i bet when i talk to him he will casually drop in to conversation yet another scenario of him and another girl..and how much she was all over him and how he liked it..

like he's done for the last whole year

November 27, 2012

and what is your point?

he is no different, in fact he's worse .. i bet when i talk to him he will casually drop in to conversation yet another scenario of him and another girl..and how much she was all over him and how he liked it..
like he's done for the last whole year

That might be true. But he only does that because he is helplessly into you, while you clearly aren't and will never be. Which is fine.

The problem starts when you get back to a guy while also playing games just because he was finally able to move on. Be honest: You just want a deluxe orbiter, not a boyfriend. There is no chance in hell you will never actually be with him. Stop lying to yourself.

You don't want him. You just want him to want you.

November 27, 2012

In your first post you said you messaged him "a day ago". Now you're saying it has been six days. Hmm. Something's fishy here.

Someone stop her before she takes over the world.

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why is he not responding? (prefer guys to answer only)

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