christina752 Posted August 8, 2004 Posted August 8, 2004 Okay, so I'm dating a new guy, and we are having a wild time. Our relationship has progressed to intimacy, but I'm having some troubles. The first time we had sex, it took him FOERVER to reach an orgasm. I felt totally defeated. I tried everything, and when he gave me 'hints' I gladly followed them. He finally did finish, but bascially by doing it himself. The next time we went out, we had a little heart to heart and I told him about my concern. He said that he masturbates too often, and on top of that his 'masturbating sessions' are usually pretty long. He reassured me that he hadn't masturbated for two days, and that he would probably orgasm much more quickly this time. Well, it was faster, but still took a while. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being with him, and he's satisfied me wonderfully. It is just that both times I tried really hard, and I don't know what else to do. I don't know if it makes any difference, but he is uncircumsized. He told me exactly where he is sensitive, and I try to make sure that spot is taken care of. What suggestions can anyone give for this situation. I totally feel unsexy because it takes him so long to climax. He tries to reassure me, and blames himself, but I don't know. Any thoughts?
mr7man Posted August 8, 2004 Posted August 8, 2004 Have you ever had problems with another you'd been intimate with? If not, I'd say it has more to do with him, not your technique. Everyone's body is different and will require a different touch- Different strokes for different folks. His masterbating is definitely not helping the situation although that tends to cause men to reach orgasm much earlier because they get conditioned to usually watching movies or mpeg clips that are about 30 sec. - 1 min prior to the orgasm scene. Let me shift gears for a minute...How old is he? If he is getting into middle age, his testosterone levels may be slipping and this could even happen at a much younger age as well. If his numbers are low, this could affect his ability to become aroused to completion. Been there, Got the T-Shirt. Once treated with testosterone creme, my numbers went back to normal and I felt a big diiference in my arousal and staying power, but particularly arousal. He should ask his doctor to be tested and advise him. So don't run out and blame yourself. I give you alot of credit for really giving it the ol' college try. And you did the right thing by asking him what he likes.
faux Posted August 8, 2004 Posted August 8, 2004 I am wondering why you are so concerned about the length of time it takes for your partner to orgasm. What amount of time are we talking? When I masturbate on my own it usually takes me half an hour to an hour, as I like to draw things out. Sex will take just as long, if not longer. So long as I am enjoying myself and I do reach orgasm there are no problems on my end. Just because your boyfriend takes a while does not mean that he isn't enjoying himself. Why is it that you want him to orgasm so quickly? Some people just do not finish that quickly, unless it is every once in a while.
batitm Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 Girl I'd look at it this way. Hes holding back just to please you. Appreciate it! My current bf is the same way. At first it freaked me out like "how experienced is this guy that he has to go forever? Doesn't it feel good?" but I've learned that some guys just control it better than others. Have you said anything to him about it? If not then next time instead of waiting for him to go just tell him to.
dreaming4ever Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 I WISH I had your problem.....jeez! My boyfriend cums in like 10 minutes usually and I want to keep going!! Sometimes I feel like I could go forever.....and how long are these long sessions you're talking about anyways?
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