Is it a red flag if a man says he wants you to have a baby with him too soon?

[Nikki Sahagin]

The guy is 35. He is from Thailand. The 'romance' was for about six weeks. Is that a MASSIVE red flag, an age issue, 'telling you what they think you want to hear' (even though you don't want children) or a cultural thing?

[SoleMate]

Yes, it's a red flag.

 

Several other red flags here as well.

[Nightsky]

Honey since you need hear it from us, yes. And yes!

 

In the game minesweeper you put the flags where you think the landmines are. Don't step on this landmine.

[movingon12]

Once, on a 2nd date, the guy asked me if I wanted to have mixed race kids. He told me he loved me a week later. We're now very happily married.

 

It freaked me out at the time, but in his case, it was a cultural thing - where he comes from, women will just think you're looking to hook up unless you're talking love, marriage and babies from virtually the first date. In his country 'I love you' = 'you're cute, will you go out with me?'; 'lets make babies' = 'I don't want you to date other people'.

 

So in your case it *might* be a red flag, or it *might* be cultural - impossible to know without finding out more about Thai culture.

[carhill]

Would this be an 'anchor' baby, as in a green card circumstance?

 

IMO, it's normal for a man to talk about children and a desire for/abhorrence of them in general but to become so specific so quickly is generally outside of my experience with males. However, some men will use talk of babies to stir the maternal pot to effect more expeditious sex. Hard to know how it goes in your circumstance. My opinion is that caution is warranted. Good luck.

[Mrlonelyone]

I don't think it's a red flag. Part of this could be age. Consider the math, at 36 when a child of his is in their 20's he will be 56 to 66 years old. That's just his first child assuming he has no others. Supposing he has two children say five years apart. His youngest would be 20 when he's 61. Then by the time he's in his 70's the children are in their 30's and having to take the burden of elder care just as they are trying to get their own lives in order.

 

If he himself had to do this, like me, he may think it's better to have the children before he's 40 or more.

 

Males also have a biological clock it's called old age and death.

[gaius]

Sometimes you're just so into a girl the idea of impregnating her drifts into your mind, and might slip out of your mouth. I wouldn't see it as a red flag unless his actions lean toward not actually wanting to have a baby with you.

[FitChick]

Tell him you will have his baby after you've seen his bank account, investment account and pay stub so you can be sure he will be able to support a family.

 

I agree with Carhill in that he is probably looking for an anchor baby. Tell him you want to live in Thailand and have the baby there and see what he says.

[forrest]

OP, I was in Thailand recently and met a guy that basically said that to girls he just met on the street after a few minutes of chatting. I feel like this is probably a cultural thing vs him being crazy and clingy.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Thanks for the responses guys

 

I'm just going to go in with an open mind and some common sense