scrapiron8833 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I was in a 3yr relationship and she is truly the love of my life. we were "on a break" and she was seeing someone else. We recently have gotten back together and that issue came up.She had told me she slept with this guy one time and there was no love or connection. I was devastated!!! her guilt a few days later got the best of her and all the truth came out. It was more than once and was in the bed that we shared. I think about this and it makes me almost ill from anxiety! I cant bring myself to even walk in her room,it hurts to even go to her house. This was totally out of character for her but none the less she lied about alot of it and iam having a hard time dealing with it. Do I continue with the relationship that we both want so bad? How does one deal with this when its in the back of my mind? now I feel there is trust issues! she also said there was no intimacy involved and then later said that there was oral sex also! once again ill from this anxiety! how does someone recover from this? Please give help,im goin insane from the hurt and anxiety cuz i do love her so much!!!
Balzac Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) Welcome to LS where so many here have experienced what you now suffer through. My experience and belief is that "break" means the romantic relationship is over. Second chance attempts generally fail. My advice is to move on. Lick your wounds, focus on self healing and do not try to reason this debacle. Falling out of love takes time. Edited November 25, 2012 by Balzac End it. Move forward.
Author scrapiron8833 Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 I feel that there has been so much invested in the relationship to not try! I guess iam just looking for the right tools to fix something with out instructions! my divorce was never this hurtfull
Author scrapiron8833 Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 I do agree with the denial part! I wish I wouldnt have asked the questions I did but felt that if it came out later it would be worse and it was. She has been very remorseful and guilt stricken since our last conversation and says she wants us and is professing her love for me more than ever now! Its so crazy that now I see her in pain from all of this that this is the woman I so fell in love with. Now I feel myself being the one wanting to be the one to comfort her.Is this a manipulation tactic to get my trust or is it genuine? because of course now i have doubt from the lies before.
YorickBrown Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 I'm just gonna wait for CapSavAho to come on-board for this one. ...coz you know me, I'll probably just shrug and say, "let it slide" (seriously, no pun intended). CSA, would probably rip you a new one for trying to still stick around instead of "sticking it to her" (seriously, still no pun intended)
Author scrapiron8833 Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 I do understand what your saying! My old hard self probably never would have considered this reconciliation but I guess my old age got me soft.I have been a single parent for along time and am not into the bar scene and there is just so much invested with this relationship.
YorickBrown Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I do understand what your saying! My old hard self probably never would have considered this reconciliation but I guess my old age got me soft.I have been a single parent for along time and am not into the bar scene and there is just so much invested with this relationship. Ah! So that makes sense now...you have kid(s). I've been struggling with my own "demons" as of late, im at what you call an impasse...and its got something to do with children and being a father (somewhat)....So its really true what they say...having them changes you (a lot?) You either become forgiving or not-so-forgiving (im really trying to cling to the former)
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