amolya Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I am curious to know thoughts and experiences on girls making a move/asking for a number in places like bars/pubs, or even everyday places like the grocery store, public transport system etc. I am a girl, and I used to never make a first move, if I was interested in a guy I'd let HIM ask for my number, and proceed. I thought that was a way to weed out only guys who were genuinly interested in me, and confident enough to make a move. But now I'm starting to question that, and wondering if I shoudl try and 'get what I want' so to speak, as my dating and relationship life has been very unsuccessful to say the least. However there is a nagging part of me, that still cant or is too scared to do so. If it is obvious a guy likes me, I won't hesistate to offer to exchange numbers first. But if I;m not sure, I hesistate. An example is last night, I was at a bar with some friends, and found this random umbrella on the table, so I went up to a group of people standing nearby to ask them if it belonged to anyone. This one guy responded, and told me I was such a good person for asking, btu that I should keep the umbrella for myself. Then we had this short conversation, about his 2 friends he was with (female) who apparently kissed which surprised him as one seemed fairly homophobic, then he told me about his cousin who confided in him that he was gay, but who gets into a lot of fights and tries to act all macho (as they are sicilian, and homophobia is rife there). Anyway it was a short, but random conversation, and then after about 5 mins he said he had to get back to his friends, and that is was nice meeting me, and I was 'cathartic'. So off he went, they stayed a couple of metres from us. Not long later, my friends wanted to hit another place, so I made eye contact with him, and said goodbye, he did the whole italian kiss on each cheek, I told him to come to the bar, but i don't think he heard me properly. Anyway, I keep kicking myself because here was an attractive, friendly, interesting guy. Someone I could see myself dating, well at least from the few minutes we talked (and I don't find men like that often), and he's gone forever, because I didn't get his number/give him mine. I wonder, if based on his behavior he was interested in me at all? And does that mean he would've asked for my number, therefore I should forget about it? Maybe he was just friendly? He may even have had a girlfriend, i guess... Anyway I feel like next time, I will give a guy my number, leave the ball in his court ; if he is interested, he'll call, if not, no big deal. What are your thoughts and experiences on this? To the women - have you given a guy your number and did it result in anything? To the men - if you met a girl in such a situation, would you definitely ask for her number or is it a maybe?
MrCastle Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I distinctly remember it happening two times and I absolutely loved it, unfortunately both cases led to nothing. First case was a girl from class, I was walking her to her car and she just turned to me and said with a smirk "What's your number. I'm going to call you :)" So i gave it to her and we would flirt via text but then she'd flake anytime I tried to set something up. Classic tease. Second time was a few months ago when I had jury duty. An older woman (I was 24, she was 32) approached me and after about 20 minutes of convo said "I don't usually do this but you seem cool. Take down my number and we'll keep in touch." Then after I put her number in my phone she asked me out to lunch but I declined. I had already made plans. She said "Oh wow I'm sorry am I coming on too strong? Do you have a girlfriend?" To which I laughed and said it was ok and I'm single and I'd be texting her soon. We flirted a little bit later on that same day and then I tried texting her 2 other times and she never answered. Never heard from her again. Aside from that, I think the actual act of a girl asking for my number makes my job a hell of a lot easier. I give credit to women who are that forward as most women are taught to have men do all the chasing and approaching. It's a welcomed change.
Pyro Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I am curious to know thoughts and experiences on girls making a move/asking for a number in places like bars/pubs, or even everyday places like the grocery store, public transport system etc. I am a girl, and I used to never make a first move, if I was interested in a guy I'd let HIM ask for my number, and proceed. I thought that was a way to weed out only guys who were genuinly interested in me, and confident enough to make a move. But now I'm starting to question that, and wondering if I shoudl try and 'get what I want' so to speak, as my dating and relationship life has been very unsuccessful to say the least. However there is a nagging part of me, that still cant or is too scared to do so. If it is obvious a guy likes me, I won't hesistate to offer to exchange numbers first. But if I;m not sure, I hesistate. An example is last night, I was at a bar with some friends, and found this random umbrella on the table, so I went up to a group of people standing nearby to ask them if it belonged to anyone. This one guy responded, and told me I was such a good person for asking, btu that I should keep the umbrella for myself. Then we had this short conversation, about his 2 friends he was with (female) who apparently kissed which surprised him as one seemed fairly homophobic, then he told me about his cousin who confided in him that he was gay, but who gets into a lot of fights and tries to act all macho (as they are sicilian, and homophobia is rife there). Anyway it was a short, but random conversation, and then after about 5 mins he said he had to get back to his friends, and that is was nice meeting me, and I was 'cathartic'. So off he went, they stayed a couple of metres from us. Not long later, my friends wanted to hit another place, so I made eye contact with him, and said goodbye, he did the whole italian kiss on each cheek, I told him to come to the bar, but i don't think he heard me properly. Anyway, I keep kicking myself because here was an attractive, friendly, interesting guy. Someone I could see myself dating, well at least from the few minutes we talked (and I don't find men like that often), and he's gone forever, because I didn't get his number/give him mine. I wonder, if based on his behavior he was interested in me at all? And does that mean he would've asked for my number, therefore I should forget about it? Maybe he was just friendly? He may even have had a girlfriend, i guess... Anyway I feel like next time, I will give a guy my number, leave the ball in his court ; if he is interested, he'll call, if not, no big deal. What are your thoughts and experiences on this? To the women - have you given a guy your number and did it result in anything? To the men - if you met a girl in such a situation, would you definitely ask for her number or is it a maybe? You had nothing at all to lose by giving him your number. Next time you are in that situation don't hesitate to pass on your number. You may have missed out on something great. That kind of confidence is always a turn on. There is nothing wrong with that and by sharing your story hopefully some of the bytching will stop about women not putting in any effort in the dating process.
MyPoutine Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I wouldn't do it personally, I think it something guys should do.
rocketman122 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 if you do it in a subtle way, most guys will like that better. I myself dont like when a woman is aggressive int he chase but if she left a number with her name and a little smiley face on a napkin then I would for sure make the move. some guys like me want to pursue and if woman sill lets the man do the work then its easier on my ego. for me anyways. I didnt like girls who were so assertive when I was OLD. I love to feel like I chased her and got her.
El Brujo Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Been there, done it, never again. If you do give out your number, you better have a lot of free time on your hands, because people will call at the worst possible times: when you're in the shower, when you're eating dinner, when you're trying to get to sleep, when you're talking to your boss at work, etc. No thanks... 1
Author amolya Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 el brujo - I've never ha someone call me constantly, and i've given my number out plenty of times. People seem to prefer texting anyway, although once or twice a guy has initiated a text conversation with me every single day for like a week which was slightly irritating. I'm not actually afraid of rejection to be honest, but I think what scares me is always HOW to say it - how to actually ask for a number. Sometimes I get a vibe from a guy that I know is not interested in seeing me again ; like he may want to dance/makeout tonight but won't want to hang out in the future, and I can usually tell who these guys are - in which case I either won't exchange numbers or won't expect a text/call. Other times I'm not sure, or I don';t know where/when in the conversation to ask and what to say...probably because I'm not used to it. Also, what do you guys think about a random girl hitting on you say in a shop/waiting for the train? Once, I was on the underground waiting for a train, and I was a bit stoned and feeling very confident. A hot guy walked past me, and I considered talking to him/getting his number, but on my way towards him, some other random guy asked me if I was ok when I stumbled, and then him and his friend started talking to me, so I missed out. I haven't had the guts to randomly hit on a guy since, and to be honest it intimidates me a bit.
1slobalt12 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Ive never had a girl ask for my number but there has been multiple times when i have been out somewhere or at a bar talking with a girl and eventually they gave me their number without asking. Even though i personally have no problem asking for a girls number its nice when they go ahead without you having to ask as it shows they have some interest and are more likely to answer your call/text.
Nightsky Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I think a girl who pursues guys will take a very special kind of girl. I mean if you're guy hitting on women you have to face rejection constantly. So, can you handle getting a number only to have the guy give you a wrong one or never return your calls. What about if he flat out tells you "NO" and that he's busy with his friends can you leave him a lone. If all that ain't no thing than get to it! Makes you cool in my book. Oh and a girl doesn't have to be as aggressive as a guy. You could just say "hi" to a guy in a bar or park or what ever and if he likes you he should... he should ask you out if he's single. Also a girl just handing a guy her number works much better than if a guy did the same. Guys really are forced into being more aggressive just part of the dating game.
charlietheginger Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 At a bar.... After you show interest he shows interest.... Tell him your phone is dead and what time it is When he pulls out his phone give him the look Of confidence and interest... As he gives you the time place ur hand on his Upper arm say thanks... Tell him ur leaving or going to another bar You wished you could chat again sometime.... He is ether gonna ask your number.... Or not.... If he does not ask.. Then you say id put your Number in my phone but my phones dead.. Tell him here call my number or text me.... Bingo you got his number.... Next day text him .. I enjoyed our conversation It was nice meeting you last night.... Let it ride out take it from their..... You know how i know this works? A women did this to me last night.. Text just popped up on my phone a Hour ago.... Her phone was not dead becuase i saw her Talking on the same phone with a red case out by her Car..... So yes be clever be coy and dont throw ur number At him or ask his on paper.. . Make him call or send you a text so you Tricked him into calling first....
crude Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Sounds refreshing. I'm sick of stereotypes. If you see something you like, why not? Women who make $$$, are bosses over men, buy homes of their own, even drive cars (take that Saudi Arabia), acting like an idiot damsel from the Middle Ages turns me off.
Nightsky Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Sounds refreshing. I'm sick of stereotypes. If you see something you like, why not? Women who make $$$, are bosses over men, buy homes of their own, even drive cars (take that Saudi Arabia), acting like an idiot damsel from the Middle Ages turns me off. Yes, but what do you do when some unattractive to you woman asks you out or for your number. I guess I'd give them the old "I'm seeing some one."
crude Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Yes, but what do you do when some unattractive to you woman asks you out or for your number. I guess I'd give them the old "I'm seeing some one." Everybody should be realistic. If a man is ugly and he asks out Brooklyn Decker, he expects to be shot down. If a woman is ugly, then she should be expecting the same. I swear, if human beings are old enough to have sex and get married, they should be mature enough to be honest and accept whatever rejection comes their way. Enough of the game playing. 1
Nightsky Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Everybody should be realistic. If a man is ugly and he asks out Brooklyn Decker, he expects to be shot down. If a woman is ugly, then she should be expecting the same. I swear, if human beings are old enough to have sex and get married, they should be mature enough to be honest and accept whatever rejection comes their way. Enough of the game playing. Yes, but I'm realist and believe people are act predictably irrational.
truth_seeker Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Yes, but what do you do when some unattractive to you woman asks you out or for your number. I guess I'd give them the old "I'm seeing some one." If this happens to me I give them my business card.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I have done it before, I would rather ask and they turn me down than not ask and wonder
IT Geek Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Been there, done it, never again. If you do give out your number, you better have a lot of free time on your hands, because people will call at the worst possible times: when you're in the shower, when you're eating dinner, when you're trying to get to sleep, when you're talking to your boss at work, etc. No thanks... Two words... Google Voice
IT Geek Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Yes, but I'm realist and believe people are act predictably irrational. Chaos Theory.
IT Geek Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Everybody should be realistic. If a man is ugly and he asks out Brooklyn Decker, he expects to be shot down. Not only her, but pretty much any woman.
IT Geek Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I have done it before, I would rather ask and they turn me down than not ask and wonder I wish I had the nerve to do this.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I wish I had the nerve to do this. I didn't have nerve to until I went out once and there was a really cute guy who told me I was beautiful and he was leaving so I just balls up and did it. Nothing came of it in the end but I was proud
IT Geek Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I didn't have nerve to until I went out once and there was a really cute guy who told me I was beautiful and he was leaving so I just balls up and did it. Nothing came of it in the end but I was proud Well, if a woman did that to me that might give me the cajones to do it, too. LOL That ain't happening, though.
Tara247 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I don't do it. If a man is interested, he'll do it.
Feelin Frisky Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Hi amolya, try not to beat yourself up over such an incident. It happens a lot that circumstances just don't permit people to connect without it appearing forced or over-board so they choose not to. I have many dents in my butt from self ass-kicking. If you just continue to be outgoing it will happen for you. Good luck. 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I don't do it. If a man is interested, he'll do it. I'll be 100% honest here. Many, many times I have little to no interest in a woman til she starts talking to me. Sometimes I'm not interested at first because my mind is elsewhere or I'm just not interested in picking up chicks at the moment. Example: Years ago, I was to a costume party dressed as a 1930s gangster. I had on the zoot suit and two tone shoes: https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=two+tone+shoes&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bpcl=38897761&biw=1093&bih=479&wrapid=tlif135387331084310&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=qXeyUJi-O4rWiwKu8ID4Bg Austin is a collegetown. And I got lost quickly walking through all these neighborhoods where college kids lived in. As I was trying to find the right street, a woman was passing me on the sidewalk, I never registered anything about her, not that she was attractive or unattractive. I was too busy thinking about the costume party to notice her. As she passed me, she said, "I like your shoes," and stuttered and said, "Wait. What?" "I like your shoes," she repeated. "Are you trying to be James Cagney?" We stumbled into a 15 minute conversation. The more I talked to her, the more I became attracted to her. When we parted, I left with her number thinking, "If she hadn't talked to me, I wouldn't have noticed that cute girl." That was my ex-gf Jamie, who was the first girl I dated when I moved to Texas. We were together for a year.
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