GirlontheLam Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 OK. I decided to join POF. I have a profile on OKCupid. But honestly, the responses I got were a little off. And when I did some searching around, I didn't find many people that I felt like responding too. (I have messaged a few here and there with limited response. I have theory about this, but it is totally irrelevant to this thread.) So I decided to join POF, since it is free. And I hear so much about it. But honestly, I wasn't really thinking it would be better than OKC. I am a not all that popular "type" online. Within a few minutes I get messages/chat requests. I replied to 2 of them. I rejected most. Generally they were either too far, had kids (not really into it at the moment), or didn't have any good info in their profile. Guy #1: well he made it as clear as possible he was looking for sex. He ended up leading in with some questions about my type and his atributes (and actually, he wasn't really far off). And then started telling me about his sex drive, p*nis size, and a few other choice details. I was a little surprised he was so direct. He invited me to his house for dinner/movie/drinks. We all know what that means. Guy #2: good on paper. It turned out that i couldn't chat with him. Send him my number (well the google voice one). We exchanged a bunch of texts. Problem: not sure what he is looking for at the moment. Not sure if we have compatible levels of desired commitment. But we are planning to meet up. And not to be super surprised. A few of the guys who messaged met my real life pattern.....I have a theory about this too. I did notice, people are quick to ask for you #, compared to OKC. But maybe it is more related to the different sort of people that were reaching out to me. Small sample size. Weird site I think. What's your comparison on OKC vs POF?
MrCastle Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I've never joined personally. I've only used OKCupid, but I will say, judging by the responses I've seen in pua forums and even here, Pof is widely used for NSA sex and one night stands. I've also heard the quality of people is apparently lower. A lot more women with kids or other red flags most men try to stay away from. I'm sure the guys aren't any better either. I can't explain why that's been the case as OKC and POF are both free, but it seems OKC attracts more educated, classier people, and more of a hip crowd, and most are looking for some sort of relationship situation, while POF attracts people looking almost exclusively for NSA sex.
MyPoutine Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Never tried OKC and tried POF once, I ended up meeting my ex there and while it hurt to break up I have no regrets about the actual relationship. He was a really nice guy but in the end he couldn't handle the distance. From my experience you have to weed through a lot of fake profiles (i.e. married men, men in relationships looking for "hook ups"), liars and the general weird people to get to the normal and honest ones. Before meeting my ex I talked to several men and went on a few dates, all the dates were at a public place and I personally have a "pay for my own stuff" rule on dates, I only allow people I know well to pay for me. It didn't take long to identify the ones looking for sex as they were the first to try for kisses/touching and the first to leave when the realized I don't allow touching until I have an established relationship. Basically from my experience, online can work but go very slow, take your time and if things don't add up ask questions or simply leave. Free sites are the most dangerous because there is nothing to lose so you have to be extra cautious. All in all, I don't regret POF...it left me with some interesting stories and a good relationship that I will always remember. But I did have to go through quite a few bad eggs before finding a guy like me (i.e. a person looking for a relationship) As a friend of mine always says "be expensive" your body is your temple so keep all potential guys at a distance until you are sure who you want, then take things super slowly, the slower the better...if he cares about you enough he will wait until you are ready Good luck
CptObvious Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 He invited me to his house for dinner/movie/drinks. We all know what that means. 5% chance he takes no for an answer
salparadise Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I've had experience with both, but I'm a guy and that's a different perspective. I think MrCastle is correct in that OKC has a more progressive flavor and attracts more educated and relationship oriented people. That's not at all surprising given the dramatic differences in quality/sophistication of the two websites (which I won't go into). I much prefer OKC and found success there, whereas POF is a continual disappointment. I get contacted by more women on POF, but they're often much older than me and sometimes downright hideous. I've also noticed that the communication is different between the two sites. For one thing, the extensive Q&A section on OKC give people a huge amount of information and plenty of topics to talk about. About the pay sites such as match dot com... the problem there is that you can't contact other members unless you're a current subscriber, and even if you are you can't tell if the person you're contacting is. So if you find someone you like and want to contact, spend time composing a good message, send, and then sit and wonder if they're just not interested or if they're not a current subscriber. I had an email exchange with the CS people and they didn't want to admit this flaw in the system. I had to really pin them down and still they squirmed and dodged. It's my guess that ten percent or less of the people on match are able to respond, so why bother?
counterman Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I created an OKC profile a few months ago but don't want to upload a photo (in case people I know find out and troll me). Of course that means that I won't get any replies at all. From what I have gathered, looking at many profiles, I won't do well at all in online dating. I might give POF ago
IT Geek Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I've been on both and never gotten a response to any emails I sent out.
El Brujo Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 It's a moot point, once you've started going to meetups. POF, OKC, etc etc, all start to look the same... lots of pics and profiles but no action. 1
Author GirlontheLam Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 It's a moot point, once you've started going to meetups. POF, OKC, etc etc, all start to look the same... lots of pics and profiles but no action. LOL! I'd rather get to the in person meeting faster.
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 What's your comparison on OKC vs POF? Honestly, I think the layout and interface is a lot better with OKC. The survey questions, the profile layouts, they make it a lot easier to give you something to talk about, etc. I have seen far more "empty" profiles on POF than I have on OKC. And, I have had far fewer messages replied to on POF than I have on OKC. In my view, OKC is a better website. 1
IT Geek Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 It's a moot point, once you've started going to meetups. POF, OKC, etc etc, all start to look the same... lots of pics and profiles but no action. Quite a few of the meetups I've been to aren't that great. Seems regulars have developed cliques and new people are just kind of...there. This is especially true of the larger meetups that have 50+ attendees. I have gotten involved in a couple of smaller meetups. One is a movie meetup that usually has 10-15 participants and the other is a group that does dinner every Wednesday night near my work and has the same number. I actually became friends with a lady at the dinner meetup and definitely would be interested in pursuing more than a friendship, but she's way out of my league.
Author GirlontheLam Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 Honestly, I think the layout and interface is a lot better with OKC. The survey questions, the profile layouts, they make it a lot easier to give you something to talk about, etc. I have seen far more "empty" profiles on POF than I have on OKC. And, I have had far fewer messages replied to on POF than I have on OKC. In my view, OKC is a better website. I like the idea od OKC. Unfortunately, where I live, my type is not very popular on OKC. A big combo of things....let's just say, on paper OKC would be my ideal site, but in practice the chances are not good, and the goods are damaged. It attracts a wide range of people that are my type. But the people that are my type go to OKC looking for someone else (in my region). Leaves me with slimmer pickings. POF looks like something that used to be an AOL channel, design and layout wise.
ja123 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I created an OKC profile a few months ago but don't want to upload a photo (in case people I know find out and troll me). Of course that means that I won't get any replies at all. From what I have gathered, looking at many profiles, I won't do well at all in online dating. I might give POF ago What do you mean? If you don't uplaod a photo on OKC then you can contact people but they can't respond back to you, even if you made first contact? Also, on OKC, can you upload your photo, but not display it but attach it to your email when you contact someone? This is what is done on PoF.
FitChick Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 You get what you pay for. I only have profiles on paid sites but that doesn't mean I pay. I wait to see who contacts me and if it's worth responding I will join but only for a month. Then I hide my profile for a while. When I put it back up after a period of time, I use a new main photo. Sharks are always attracted to fresh meat.
FitChick Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I've been on both and never gotten a response to any emails I sent out. You have admitted to being overweight. There are several dating websites for overweight people. Why not check them out if you are tired of being rejected? You will find many kindred spirits.
IT Geek Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 You have admitted to being overweight. There are several dating websites for overweight people. Why not check them out if you are tired of being rejected? You will find many kindred spirits. Because I don't plan on staying overweight. Actually, I am not staying overweight. I've been on those sites and no one seems to be interested in changing their lifestyle or bettering themselves. "This is me and if you don't like it...." type of attitude. I have changed my mindset and lifestyle and am at a transition point in my life. I want someone who lives a compatible lifestyle and mindset, not someone who could quite possibly drag me back into a sedentary lifestyle of couch surfing and eating fast food. If I have to wait, so be it. I just had my first workout with a new trainer today and am doing three sessions a week for 52 weeks. This, in addition to hiking, eating better, and Couch25k will hopefully get me to my goal within a year. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I tried online dating for the first time earlier this year and went on dates with two guys from POF. I just went on one date with the first guy, and have been seeing the second guy for 5 months. He's a great guy, and I'm very happy with him for the most part. I'm still not sure if we're a good match for long term. We've started having serious talks lately, about kids, careers, family, our long-term plans. And while we're doing a pretty good job of communicating calmly about everything, we are uncovering more differences, almost all coming down to his more conservative nature and my more free-spirited one. We really care about each other, but I think we both want to make sure this is a good match that will bring out our best. I'm trying to figure out whether the differences are too much to reconcile or if we can find enough common ground. So we'll see. The point is that you can meet good, upstanding, relationship-oriented guys online, and on POF, in my experience.
Author GirlontheLam Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 I met my first crazy. I gave out my online number. Talked to this him for a few minutes yesterday and then I had to go meet some friends. He was like "I want to talk tomorrow so we can get to know each other." I said sure. Well since I hung up, I have received a pic request (for his caller ID. I don't save people in my phone until I know their last name), Send me a pic last night. Then in the AM I got a good morning text, another pic, a voice mail, and a message from POF. Keep in mind I hadn't responded to any of these things. That is way too much communication. I said "we have different communications styles. I am not attentive enough for you." Thank you google voice for allowing blocking.
IT Geek Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Thank you google voice for allowing blocking. Google Voice is the most amazing thing for OLD! 1
SmileFace Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Google Voice is the most amazing thing for OLD! This is the truth. Most guys who I actually like from OLD have two numbers for me and the Gvoice is the first lol 1
El Brujo Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Quite a few of the meetups I've been to aren't that great. Seems regulars have developed cliques and new people are just kind of...there. This is especially true of the larger meetups that have 50+ attendees. Much of it depends on how good the host/hostess is, and on the theme. Unfortunately, the majority of the singles' meetup groups do the nightclub/bar thing, which has been done to death... those hosts are generally more concerned with kicking out members who don't think their drink-a-thons are worth a 5-star rating. The most happenin' singles' meetup groups I've been to were the non-alcoholic ones like potlucks and costume parties. BTW I learned the hard way that gamers and geeks are some of the least boring singles out there, unless you're happy to do nothing but drink pissy ol' beer...
foretale Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Ive been using pof for about half a year now on and off... from a guys point of view it is much different I guess, rarely does a guy get messaged etc etc... I fully agree that there are weird people on POF and online dating in general. I was on there because I want a relationship. Im super busy so its a good option. Ive met up with alot of girls, some were just plain weird. I dated one for a month, and now months later im dating another that I have a very good feeling about. Both of these girls were very sceptical of the site. They were very hesitant to meet up with me and I had to build alot of comfort before anything happened... anyways what im getting at is that I believe there is a very low percentage of people on the site that will be "catches" hopefully in your opinion. Be sceptical and cautious, but in my mind I believe there are other people on the site as the same mindset as me... and there will be those for you as well Get luck and be cautious!
Author GirlontheLam Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 Hold me back! 2 hookup opportunities for tonight.....
grkBoy Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 I think the push to get a number quickly is mainly due to how quickly people lose interest. When I tried POF long ago, I'd get some responses, even some chats with women...but then the next night while I'd say hi or respond to their email, I get nothing back. Pushing for the number is mainly about a guy trying to get you into a spot where he can more easily make his "sales pitch" to get you out with him (or into his bed). I played with OKC when it first came out. Answered loads of their questions, but never got anywhere in the site. I noticed many of the women they claimed were "ideal" for me (based on my answers) were women I honestly did not want. Usually one or more of the three things I would reject women for: Fat/ObesityLives too farHas kids I personally think the free sites are terrible, and you usually get the not-so-serious folks. While I never did well in OLD no matter what route I tried, I do believe the pay sites get more serious people. People who want to date and won't waste loads of time because they're paying money to be there.
Recommended Posts