MrCastle Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 So a little over a week ago I turned 25. This birthday struck me particularly hard because I realized I'm half way out of my 20's now. I feel like I'm just now starting to get a grip on who I am, and where I want to be. At the same time though, who's to say this feeling won't come again some years down the road? I believe we never truly fully have it all figured out seeing as how we are influenced by our experiences and we experience different things every day. But I thought at this point in my life I'd have my career in place (some of my friends already do) and I'd be more independent overall, but I'm not. When do you feel you truly find yourself? There were things I believed or felt just a mere two years ago that I totally reject now. I'm discovering new things about myself every year it seems like. I really do feel as if my personality is still not formed. I guess you can chalk that up to growing wisdom and maturity, but when will that stop? When do we stop growing and truly find ourselves? 2
skydiveaddict Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) I feel like I'm just now starting to get a grip on who I am, and where I want to be. At the same time though, who's to say this feeling won't come again some years down the road?? It will, with a vengeance. It'll be even worse When do you feel you truly find yourself? ? In your thirties. But it leaves again. When do we stop growing and truly find ourselves? We don't. At least for me it hasn't happened yet. Edited November 25, 2012 by skydiveaddict 4
january2011 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I don't think we ever truly find ourselves or stop growing/learning. We just reach a point of acceptance where we acknowledge that life is uncertain and unpredictable. We learn to roll with the punches. On another note, when I was in my 20s, I remember reading a lot about "quarter-life crises." More recently, I remember reading research about frontal lobe development and people in their early 20s. 1
skydiveaddict Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 We learn to roll with the punches. I don't. I always punch back. Perhaps that's my problem Jan. 1
CptObvious Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 You'll learn to stop caring about who you are.
skydiveaddict Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 You'll learn to stop caring about who you are. Yup... But I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
january2011 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I don't. I always punch back. Perhaps that's my problem Jan. You've had it tough - I'm not surprised that you punch back! By the way, I'm glad that you are back and safe. 2
skydiveaddict Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 By the way, I'm glad that you are back and safe. Thanks Jan. That means a lot to me and the rest of the guys. Really it does. 1
EasyHeart Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I guess you can chalk that up to growing wisdom and maturity, but when will that stop? When do we stop growing and truly find ourselves?If you're smart, you'll never stop. I'm twice your age and still revisiting and rethinking things all the time. Whenever I think back to my teens and twenties (and even thirties), I laugh at how stupid I was because I thought I knew everything. But certainty is rarely evidence of wisdom; usually it's proof of ignorance and inexperience. Living is a dynamic process. If you ever find yourself becoming static, then you're no longer living. 8
Author MrCastle Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 Great answers so far. I do agree we never stop changing. Kind of disappointing though because you figure at some point you'd "get it". I guess the saying is true "the more I see the less I know". It's funny, I've been referring to myself as "a quarter of a century old" since turning 25, I may have to look up quarter century crisis.
Author MrCastle Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 I know it's Urban Dictionary but the first definition nails it Urban Dictionary 3
Feelin Frisky Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 There is too much to encompass in an entire life so expect to keep adjusting your scope of perception. I'm more than twice your age and stuff is revealing itself to me in big ways that I was not hip to even though I thought I was there. If you put yourself in places to bridge knowledge gaps between groups you will find avenues for mastery where there are voids for your vision. I changed a lot in my 30's but it was closer to 40 when I realized I was still inside some sort of "second placenta" I had to rip away. I have since then felt "a man for all seasons" as it were. 2
suladas Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I definitely feel this way, at 23 I really expected to have a solid career, or even be working towards one but i'm still at the same job I was leaving high school, and still don't have a clue what I want to do. It might not be true, but i've always figured once I got a good career it would add a lot of stability to my life and allow me to focus on other things, just one thing to not be worried about. The thing i've always found weird why was everyone says go traveling, etc to find yourself and learn. I've never got that.
melodymatters Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I think we just constantly keep evolving as life throws us more curves. The one upside, is if we see a similar dark scary fork in the road where, last time say, we got eaten by a wolf, we are less likely to go down it again. I'm kind of glad I can say I am a strong person of strong values and opinions, but that I am open enough to always see what the world might be trying to teach me. So, take it as a positive, being static sucks. 3
LurkerXX Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 32. If not by then, you're scewed. But seriously: If you are lucky and tough enough, you learn how to better handle those 'bottom drops out' happenings and realizations. But they happen throughout life, some random, and some as consequence of your or others actions. Some have a lot of these occurances, whether or not they are drama harvesters, and some lead a charmed life. Life can be unfair, brutal, wondrous, mundane, all within the space of a few months. 1
SmileFace Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 I wonder this myself. Granted I am younger but not by far. I didn't expect my 22nd year to be like this at all. It is discouraging some times - however I have to remember it is my life to live and it is what I make it. I am no where near where I want to be career wise - from 4 different majors about 6 different career fields and now working on my own business. The only thing I can find solace in is change. I have to remember I am my true self by developing. Anyway to touch more on the personality factor - that is a complete lost to me, since I have spent so much of my time with a shield over my heart - I don't actually let any in, which you can understand with the whole mysterious thing you posted about. We do share a similar view in regards to young relationships - however I do think that my view and my choice to really not be in one, leads me not to knowing my true personality and self, if that makes sense. Anyway life goes on. 2
xxoo Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 I feel like I honed in on and got comfortable with my core self right around age 30. But I am continuing to learn new things about myself, ten years later. I hope to never stop developing myself as a person! 2
amaysngrace Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 I find myself then lose myself then find myself again. I'm currently lost. 3
Forever Learning Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 I find myself then lose myself then find myself again. I'm currently lost. LOL Same here! Here at 43 I can go from lost to found to lost again in a day (not typically, but it can happen once in a blue moon). But it's all good. I think life is pretty cool. I'm so lucky to live in the USA, I can tell you that. That alone is the very definition of living the charmed life for me, to be American. And by that, I mean as opposed to living in abject poverty in a 3rd world country or war zone or both. I am so thankful just to be living in the USA, when I see pics from around the world of how tragic, brutal and miserable others have it where they live. The best I can come up with is life is mostly about helping others in such terrible living situations. 2
amaysngrace Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 When I see animals that are suppose to be running wild locked up in a zoo I'm glad I'm a person.
Nik1 Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 (edited) Same boat here, but look at it this way: gives you something to think about. When you find you truly know what's going on, that **** can get boring pretty fast. Edited November 27, 2012 by Nik1 1
Carenth Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 I’m 25 pushing 26 however I believe I had my “quarter life-crisis” a lot earlier than most. Instead for me it was my later teens early twenties. Looking back just 5 years ago I was a completely different person to who I am today. If you could put us side by side you would swear my old self vs. new self are different people both in physical appearance and personality (especially on outlooks on life). I have my regrets like anyone else but I don't dwell on them. I used to have such a negative outlook on life thought I would never amount to anything. I thought life was pointless, dark and unfair. I realise now yes life can be a ****ing bitch at times but there is a lot to live for and see and do. I might not be a millionaire or highly successful in many people’s eyes. However I have learnt those things don’t guarantee happiness being happy and comfortable with who I am has brought me more happiness than anything else it took a lot of hard work for me to get to this point. So looking back is more of a reminder of where I don’t want to return too and the future is for me to seize. I have plans I want to achieve in the next couple of years. I’m at the point in my life where I think I would probably be happy to settle down, not right away but I could see it in the next couple of years. There are many things to do in that time but I look forward to the challenge. I always feel like I’m growing as a person I never truly notice it until I look back at who I was only a few short years ago. 1
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I turned 25 this year too, and yeah, when I was 19 and thought of myself at 25, I thought I'd have it allllll together. Know exactly what I wanted to do, have a great career, a place of my own, totally self-sufficient, etc. 3 different educational/career paths later, and oh boy...how naive I was. I'm realizing this is completely normal. Even my friends who did "all the right things": went to school, got their bachelor's, got a grad degree...many are having trouble finding the career they thought they'd have (and, frankly, deserve, for all the time they spent on their education). I think it's completely normal. I posted a thread just like this not too long ago in this same "self improvement" section. I think of it as my "quarter-life crisis." ;] 1
Minka333 Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I thought i did... ..but when the unexpected happens, it throws me off the loop So i always play hide and seek with myself.
Author MrCastle Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 Great responses. Happy to know I'm not the only one with this fear of uncertainty.
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