Sun Devil Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I have been told that confidence and assertiveness can help attract women. I also know of guys who are jerks to women. I want to know which is better, especially for college age girls. Would being both be best, or is is good to be just one?
SmileFace Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Isn't the point that most "jerks" are confident? 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 You have to be confident. The women who date jerks do it because they like dating jerks. Many maybe even most who date jerks will deny that they like them but dating patterns are the surest way to determine someone's dating preferences. Most women like confidence and men who have somewhat of an edge...
Pyro Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Depends on what type of woman and what type of relationship that you want with women. 1
dasein Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Both "confident" and "jerk" are problematic terms because no one can really define them in any meaningful way. Be a self-possessed person who keeps his own desires in the forefront while being kind and respectful and you will have the best of both. 2
aed Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Depends on what you describe as a Jerk? The friends of mine that are called 'jerks', is mostly by men who would NEVER treat their (hypothetical) gf that way or by female that got there hard broken by these men. When you are confident as a male/female, have personal bounderies and walk youre own path. Some people will judge and say you are arrogant or think you are jerk.
MrCastle Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 If you're truly confident, you don't have to be a jerk. 1
mortensorchid Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 There is a fine line between being confident and being a jerk. Jerks are overly confident, they think that whatever they do and say is right and everyone else is wrong. A confident person is flexible and admits when they are wrong, or willing to try to change with something. Whatever you do, don't portray this image that you are a "catch" to others. That comes off as being a jerk. And don't come off as being desperate either, because that makes others think you are a loser. It's a fine line, do what you will by trial and error. 1
2011 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 You can act like a jerk but don't be a jerk directly to a woman, or anyone for that matter. I hate to say it but us guys notice that women do gravitate to these types of guys, and they can deny it till the cows come home, but ask any guy and you'll get the same answer. 2011
rocketman122 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 confidence will take you further. no need to be a jerk. I think being a jerk might work better with the younger crowd but If I treated the older women I dated like a jerk they'd walk away. but I wouldnt say this or that. theyre 2 different things. confidence is good to have but not so important. and being a jerk is stupid. I dont think im overly confident but looking good helps you to feel good and be healthy and when you see women give you looks then it helps to up your ego/confidence.
rocketman122 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 If you were confident you wouldn't bother pursuing old women. nice try. come back with something better.
Revolver Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I think the ability to be a "jerk" depends on how attractive you are. A goodlooking guy will be able to get away with it but an unattractive guy is just going to appear even MORE unattractive and undesirable if he's also a jerk. The "nice" guys are usually the unattractive ones that HAVE to be nice because they don't have their looks to pull in the women. So unless you've got the looks to pull it off, I certainly wouldn't suggest you add "jerk" to your character resume. This.......
Necromancer Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I think the ability to be a "jerk" depends on how attractive you are. A goodlooking guy will be able to get away with it but an unattractive guy is just going to appear even MORE unattractive and undesirable if he's also a jerk. The "nice" guys are usually the unattractive ones that HAVE to be nice because they don't have their looks to pull in the women. So unless you've got the looks to pull it off, I certainly wouldn't suggest you add "jerk" to your character resume. Can't disagree with any of this, good post.
ThaWholigan Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I actually disagree, I know a couple of ugly assh-les who do quite well. As for sundevil, you need to focus on being not just confident but relaxed and comfortable. Being a jerk probably won't work well for you if you cannot pull it off. 1
gaius Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 The relationship you have with other men around you has a heavy impact on how you're perceived by women. Being a douche or ******* is the easiest way to earning respect from other men, which means respect from women too. It's possible to achieve this by not being a jerk but it takes a whole lot more work.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I'm pretty sure that a lonely, dateless guy who doesn't know how to interact with women will experience an attempt at being a "jerk" in order to attract them as a massive fail. The best course of action is to try to learn what your good qualities are and then figure out how to build on them and to let other people (women) know that you have them.
carhill Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 What I've noted in my social circle is the males with confidence and success and an obvious hint, at minimum, of insensitivity appear to acquire and maintain the longest lasting and most productive relationships and marriages. Their wives and girlfriends may complain about such issues, and I've heard the word 'jerk' often enough to realize it's not an anomaly, but stick to them like superglue. Once in awhile they screw up and become too generous or sensitive but recover quickly, re-establishing customary boundaries. I'm somewhat chagrined that I didn't pay better attention to such dynamics, boundaries, and healthy styles of loving while married. Live and learn. So, extrapolating, focus on confidence and success (call this 'social popularity') and throw in enough jerk to stir the pot. Life is like a stew sometimes. 2
Ross MwcFan Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I think some women like jerks because they're confident and assertive. It's confidence and assertiveness which women are attracted too, I don't think they're attracted to the actual jerkyness.
Pyro Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I think some women like jerks because they're confident and assertive. It's confidence and assertiveness which women are attracted too, I don't think they're attracted to the actual jerkyness. Those women more than likely can't tell the difference between the confidence/assertiveness and the jerk behavior.
Revolver Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Not EVERY guy can pull off being a jerk and havin It work. I think that's were the confusion comes from
KathyM Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Being confident and assertive is a good thing. Being a jerk to women is not. Women of all ages appreciate a confident and assertive man. Women of all ages are turned off by a jerk.
Mary Shadows Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I have been told that confidence and assertiveness can help attract women. I also know of guys who are jerks to women. I want to know which is better, especially for college age girls. Would being both be best, or is is good to be just one? Be respectful, and be yourself!
Nightsky Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I would do both if you think you can. You seem like such a "nice guy" though. Do you really think you have it in you to be a confident jerk? I mean it's a real panties dropper, but do you have it in you? Let me tell you this get a reputation for being the biggest jerk around and they'll be chasing you.
Pyro Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 They are, very much so. The level of devotion women treat you with is inversely proportional to how much/little you care about her. I would do both if you think you can. You seem like such a "nice guy" though. Do you really think you have it in you to be a confident jerk? I mean it's a real panties dropper, but do you have it in you? Let me tell you this get a reputation for being the biggest jerk around and they'll be chasing you. :lmao::lmao:
Recommended Posts