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"Professional" dumps me by text before our first date

Seraffa

By Seraffa
in Dating

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Seraffa New Member

Seraffa

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I'm just enraged that this "professional" in the celtic music world has dumped me by text after getting to know what kind of situation I'm in. I'm a caregiver for my mom with dementia, I have a European background similar to his, and he knew that my last marriage was abusive and seemed to understand how much I did need a man in my life. He was direct from Scotland and lives in a near proximity to me. I actually have his business phone number and business email address we used for correspondance.

 

His texts went from touching, to romantic, to OBSESSED in the space of 2 days. He described himself as a widower of 12 years. He somehow convinced himself that "I wanted him as much as he wanted me" and kept TELLING me so and sent a picture of his ass and saying "we needed to meet for coffee before going to bed." And when I told him he was scaring me, and that if he was obsessed with sex before even getting to know me better, my date with him would not be enjoyable, he replied "Sorry you think that way," I texed: "why not call me tonight instead of texting, and we can tell each other about all the wonderful stuff we've done in life"........and he's ignored me ever since!

 

I was so angry this evening that I wish I had kept the picture of his ass he sent me and spread it around on the internet -- but I really didn't have a motive to blackmail him or a Highland Games Event coming up to run around with a poster saying " I. M. texted me last month all these dirty things and HERE IS THE PICTURE OF HIS ACTUAL ASS!! LOOK, EVERYBODY!!!" :lmao:

 

GUYS: I am still hurting from the impact from this, precisely because he knew that I wanted to meet a nice, caring, financially stable person with common celtic interests....so I'm mad and hurt. WHAT MAKES MEN TURN INTO THE TYPE OF MAN I JUST EXPERIENCED????!!!! Please explain this to me. Then I will feel tons better.

iiiii Established Member

iiiii

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He sounds insane. You dodged a bullet. Be happy, not mad.

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Chunky Established Member

Chunky

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I agree. He sounds nuts. You made out better in the long run.

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dasein Established Member

dasein

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I think you need to work on whatever it is that leads you to becoming "enraged" due to encountering some weirdo you haven't even met in person. Their are lots of those in the dating pool, and in all likelihood you will encounter more of them. But venting out here is cool, and I understand that also.

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Seraffa New Member

Seraffa

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THANKS!! :lmao: I'm glad to know that even though I caretake for an insane person.......I don't date them! :lmao: This made my Saturday night.:D

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IT Geek Established Member

IT Geek

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I don't think he "turned" that way. He was that way all along but had a facade on during the initial contact period.

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Balzac Established Member

Balzac

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No doubt you are disappointed. The rage however is displaced anger gone awry.

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Yookie Established Member

Yookie

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I agree with IT Geek he was already cray cray. Once you told him you were interested in getting to know him better (instead if sex talk) he decided you would NOT be an easy lay. This is why he doesn't want to talk to you anymore. It has nothing to do with you personally. He doesn't even know you! If he did he wouldn't have treated you so disrespectfully.

 

Be glad you weeded him out early on. He was just a waste of time for you.

mickleb Established Member

mickleb

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They ALL start off as nice as nougat then reveal themselves. This is all anyone needs to remember in dating, really.

 

As much as we want to believe we know them, we don't. It's just the chemistry in our animal bodies fooling us into getting on with reproducing. We can be experts at controlling our words and behaviour but idiots at dealing with feelings. This guy was an idiot at all three. (It doesn't make him less of a professional musician, so I'm not sure why you even mentioned that.)

 

dasein is right: you need to see this for what it was (BOTH of your hormonal selves getting carried away), continue your search for someone compatible and learn how to deal with the strong feelings that accompany meeting and communicating with a romantic prospect. Never let your rational self out of your sight!

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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IMO you put too much hope into the possibility of a romance with this guy. What jumped out at me was "how much you need a man".

 

How do you know he wasn't feeling that you were a bit needy?

iris219 Established Member

iris219

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Why did you even bother to text him after he sent you a picture of his ass?

 

He was clearly interested in quick sex. He figured he opened up to you some, had a couple of text conversations, put in the effort :rolleyes:, and that should be enough for you to want to drop your panties. He was disappointed and annoyed when you made it clear you wanted more than he was willing to give.

 

How did he even get a good picture of his ass? He must not think his penis is much to look at because this is what most creepers like to text.

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crude Established Member

crude

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WHAT MAKES MEN TURN INTO THE TYPE OF MAN I JUST EXPERIENCED????!!!! Please explain this to me. Then I will feel tons better.

 

 

I wouldn't be so hard on him. I blame it on Enya. She has a hypnotic effect on men with that Celtic music of hers. ;)

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Seraffa New Member

Seraffa

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Yikes. You went way too far in your correspondence with a stranger, and regardless of who or what he is, you are out of bounds (with yourself) for allowing any of it to touch you. He is nothing to you - you don't know him.

 

I've just read three threads started by you … and I'm concerned.

 

You shouldn't be. But if you want me to become more concerned about YOU, and respond to YOU, I aquiesce. I do not follow your threads around, therefore, I do not like nor ask for MORE of your OPINIONS of me further posted on this board, Madame C. Thank you.

Edited by Seraffa
amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

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Seraffa anybody can read anyone's previous posts or threads. If someone takes the time to do that so they can learn more about you and offer better advice, maybe you can be grateful rather than offended by that.

 

Maybe you read too much into things? :confused:

mickleb Established Member

mickleb

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You shouldn't be. But if you want me to become more concerned about YOU, and respond to YOU, I aquiesce. I do not follow your threads around, therefore, I do not like nor ask for MORE of your OPINIONS of me further posted on this board, Madame C. Thank you.

 

Seraffa, I am aware that you are fond of quoting the forum guidelines regarding civility and respect to other posters, already. Perhaps you would like to re-read them, taking note of the statements which emphasise that 'collaborative participation from all visitors' should be fostered at all times?

 

The poster you are attempting to exclude from your threads has offered you some excellent advice here, and elsewhere. Whilst I would like to continue to try to help you, I shall be fighting the impulse that says 'this member is so hurt and damaged that she can become angry at those who offer assistance - perhaps I should not aggravate her'. I hope I don't let that inner voice win, and that you find this post helpful.

Edited by mickleb
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TaurusTerp Established Member

TaurusTerp

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You sound way more insane than he sounds like a jerk. You need to relax. A lot.

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