ClickClickCarla Posted August 8, 2004 Posted August 8, 2004 Hey, I'm a 25 year old woman and have developed a disturbing pattern in my love life. Often I will go out, and meet someone with whom I like then give out my number. However, instead of being excited about getting the call I just start to dread the prospect of hearing from him. I mean, no matter how great the guy is, I get nervous about the next point of contact and rarely end up returning their calls. When I do return the call, it's usually via text message and I'll arrange to meet up when I'm out already and have had the benefit of a few drinks. I have never had a proper 'first date' - movies, dinner, the beach, lunch or anything like that, although I'm not short on offers. I get so worked up about it and am so afraid of all the awkwardness of seeing them again for the first time that I sabotage the relationship before it even begins. I met a great guy last night and have already convinced myself that it wouldn't work - he called 2 hours ago and I let it ring out. I've only had 2 boyfriends and met them through work - I didn't have the first date phobia with them because I knew them both well before we started going out. What is wrong with me and how can I get over this fear?
frogprinz29 Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 what do you dread about the second meeting or second talk? The first phone call is a terrific opportunity to try and get to know who you've met the day/night before (if you remember doing so after a number of drinks). You can find out alot about someone and build a good rapport. You can find out if the other person would be a good friend or could be more during the first call. Having a good converstation with the person may ease the awkwardness of the first meeting. It would be as if you already know the person when you go out on the first "real" date, if you decide to do so, and if the person wasn't frontin' some false identity during the phone conversation. If the dude turns out to be a creep on the phone then you won't have to think about the next meeting anyway. You had time to get to know your two previous work boyfriends. It was a somewhat slow process I'm guessing. The phone call phase is like short version of the opportunity you had in getting to know the guys at work. Hope this helps and be careful out there, it can be brutal.
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