Texts, emails as "evidence" in Texas

[Garymustang1977]

Hello All,

 

Thank you to those who replied to my last post about the stalemate I'm in. I've been away for a week on vacation to get away from the pressure cooker that's at home. My spouse and I live under the same roof, but I'm moving out on this Sunday. I'm taking the advice of those who replied and hiring an attorney. I'm just going to bite the bullet and pay for an attorney in order to save me the grief of dragging this out for months on end. My wife will not come to reason on the split of our property.

 

I found out that my wife has hacked my emails (twice and I warned her to stop) and is threatening to show that I've "cheated." Impossible, because I've never cheated in the 25 years we've been married. I have lady friends, but that's it. They are divorced women and they've been terrific advisors about what to do. I've researched a bit about emails and whether they can be admissible in court and they can in Texas. However, you have to prove "intercourse" has happened and no way that she can. It's never happened.

 

My question to you all is whether her "hacking" into my email account twice is a violation of my privacy and if that could be grounds for throwing out the emails as evidence? This is the article I read if anyone would like to see it: Sex, lies and infidelity. : Dallas Divorce Law Blog

 

Thanks very much for any advice you've got,

Gary

[trippi1432]

Well Gary...lady friends and well-meaning intentions mean two different things to a woman who vows her life to you.

 

I liken infidelity to child molestation....is the offender innocent because he didn't penetrate?

 

You may have gotten caught with your d**k in your hands or maybe the communications were just validation for you that your marriage was at the end because you were looking in the right place (divorced women) to validate it.

 

I don't know...haven't read your other posts. At any rate, Texas law is interesting...one man got away with stringing his cheating wife up naked to a fence post (think that was in Texas) another man got away with killing a man who tried to molest his child. (Hero in my book).

 

Reason why Texas has dirty freeways, as I was told when I visited there, was because they believe in the death sentence. I would be looking at state law if I were you.

[Steen719]

Gary,

If you have not cheated on her and the emails prove nothing, don't worry about it. However, she may be doing more than hacking your email; she may have a keylogger on your computer and even if you are using a laptop and you sleep with it, she can most likely access it remotely, so she could be reading this. If it is on your computer, it might be really hard to find and you might need to research how to find it or take it to someone who can find it. Unless you are using passwords that she can guess, I would bet this is the case.

Good luck

[Garymustang1977]

To all who replied with constructive advice "Thanks!" I"ll overlook the snarky remark that implies that I've cheated on my spouse which is absolutely not true. Why an analogy of my situation likened to a case of child molestation is beyond me. That's offensive.

 

To address the password question, I don't know how she got in, but my password is a series of capital letters, underscores, special symbols and numbers so it'd be "impossible" to crack - again.

 

Thank you for the Texas Penal Code citation. When I find an attorney I'll certainly have email proof from her email account that she "hacked" my emails and harrassed my freinds with it. I'll at least have some levarage. Right now she wants 100% of the house. Not realistic, of course, in a community property state.

 

Thank you for the good replies,

Gary

[Ladydrib]

Gary, here you go.

in Texas, the statute is Penal Code section 33.02, Breach of Computer Security. It says, "a person commits an offense if the person knowingly accesses a computer, computer network or computer system without the effective consent of the owner." The penalty grade ranges from misdemeanor to first degree felony (which is the same grade as murder), depending on whether the person obtains benefit, harms or defrauds someone, or alters, damages, or deletes files.

 

So there you go.

 

But what happens if they are both considered owners since they are married? Joint assets. I'm sure that must be a factor. Gary, talk to a lawyer.

 

And btw, it does sound like some level of infidelity if you were discussing your marital issues with women other than your wife, especially divorced women. I'm not judging, I've done far worse, of course with no intent to cause harm to anyone, we all have our own challenges and no one can fully understand without having the entire experience that you have had. But just so you are aware, it does not sound good having had discussions with divorced lady friends. That is boundary crossing. Good luck. I know relationship problems are so difficult no matter the situation or the roles of each person involved. It hurts all people involve. I don't believe in blame. It's a team effort.

[Ladydrib]

To all who replied with constructive advice "Thanks!" I"ll overlook the snarky remark that implies that I've cheated on my spouse which is absolutely not true. Why an analogy of my situation likened to a case of child molestation is beyond me. That's offensive.

 

To address the password question, I don't know how she got in, but my password is a series of capital letters, underscores, special symbols and numbers so it'd be "impossible" to crack - again.

 

Thank you for the Texas Penal Code citation. When I find an attorney I'll certainly have email proof from her email account that she "hacked" my emails and harrassed my freinds with it. I'll at least have some levarage. Right now she wants 100% of the house. Not realistic, of course, in a community property state.

 

Thank you for the good replies,

Gary

 

It is quite disturbing that someone would put child molestation in the same category of cheating. That is disgusting. If someone is a child molester they are deeply and fundamentally disturbed, not to mention predators and a danger to society who should be locked up. It is insane to think the same of someone who has ended up in a confused relationship for whatever reason. Not even close to similar. That's sick as well as insulting.

[Garymustang1977]

To reply to Steen719's comment about "cheating," no I've not cheated and I'm not worried in any way. My emails to my female friends were for advice and my wife read in my emails how I felt about her. I simply do not love my wife and want out. I am the petitioner in the divorce, but my wife is trying to hang on for financial security. I can understand that.

 

She's always had control issues and loathes if I spend any time with any friends male or female. She has no relationship with my family and chooses her friend's if they give in to her controlling ways and opinions. I've had enough of living in an affection less marriage (no sex in 3 years) with a partner who doesn't even meet me halfway in the household. She also is accusing my of having a sexual relationship with one of my female friends which is absolutely NOT true. I asked my wife to prove that, and she can't. Don't know if my wife telling the judge that will make a difference or not in a ruling. I'm not worried. It's never happened.

 

I agree that not all assets are community property, so certainly my email account is my private business. We do have a joint email account the we both agreed to years ago, but it's mainly used by her, and out of respect, I don't read her emails.

 

I'm talking to an attorney tomorrow to see what needs to be done to get her to court for a settlement. Many of you have replied that it's the best option and just bite the bullet and pay the attorney's fees now in order to get the best settlement. Probably good advice.

 

Many thanks,

Gary.

[MAD]

I would say she was hurt. about lady friends.who would like to see spouse email oppisate sex personal things of a marriage so take a step bk look thru her lens and might have a new plan but hope all works out for both.

[Garymustang1977]

Hello all,

 

Thank you, Sadintexas, for your reply and question as to how my consultation went. The attorney has been in practice since 1979, so he certainly knows divorce law and has seen it all. When I told him my wife feels she deserves 100% of the house he said that's never going to happen because Texas is a "No fault and community property state." Of course, I've done the research and my wife has done zero, so I knew that.

 

He suggested court-ordered mediation in which I can file myself to order her to mediation. I would have never known that. Glad he told me that. He did say that any judge in the state will send a couple to mediation if they cannot agree to a decree. They don't want to waste time listening to people argue and not know what they want. That's obvious. I am going to suggest to my wife that she go for her free consultation. She'll certainly get educated about Texas law.

 

I'm going to also suggest mediation again to my wife and if she says "no," I'll file the court-ordered mediation. She's only stalling, but this can't go on.

 

Thank you for asking,

Gary.

[Steen719]

To reply to Steen719's comment about "cheating," no I've not cheated and I'm not worried in any way. My emails to my female friends were for advice and my wife read in my emails how I felt about her. I simply do not love my wife and want out. I am the petitioner in the divorce, but my wife is trying to hang on for financial security. I can understand that.

 

She's always had control issues and loathes if I spend any time with any friends male or female. She has no relationship with my family and chooses her friend's if they give in to her controlling ways and opinions. I've had enough of living in an affection less marriage (no sex in 3 years) with a partner who doesn't even meet me halfway in the household. She also is accusing my of having a sexual relationship with one of my female friends which is absolutely NOT true. I asked my wife to prove that, and she can't. Don't know if my wife telling the judge that will make a difference or not in a ruling. I'm not worried. It's never happened.

 

I agree that not all assets are community property, so certainly my email account is my private business. We do have a joint email account the we both agreed to years ago, but it's mainly used by her, and out of respect, I don't read her emails.

 

I'm talking to an attorney tomorrow to see what needs to be done to get her to court for a settlement. Many of you have replied that it's the best option and just bite the bullet and pay the attorney's fees now in order to get the best settlement. Probably good advice.

 

Many thanks,

Gary.

 

Hey, Gary. I just wanted to clarify this. I did not mean that you were cheating on her. I just meant that you didn't have to worry about the emails since you weren't cheating. I think you took that the wrong way.

[Garymustang1977]

Thanks for clarifying, Steen719. No, I've not cheated. Even so, this is a no fault divorce state and my attorney said any facts like that are irrelevant in any case in Texas. I went over to my house tonight to get a few things and she had the audacity to ask if I could put out Christmas lights for her. Mind you, she changed the locks and claimed I abondoned her. She's in complete denial about our situation. She also says I need to send her money. Seriously. If I did that she'd only live in denial even longer and she'll never be motivated to settle. Ugh!

 

Thanks for the comments,

Gary