Dazed_Confused1989 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 My ex of many years left me after a two-week family vacation. She made friends with lots of new people on her vacation. Her reasons for leaving was she 'lost interest' along with many other reasons, most of which I think are total B.S. We had an amazing relationship! I asked her after the BU if she cheated and she immediately said no. But I still keep replaying this in my mind over and over. I'm so angry that she has constructed a negative image of me in her head and psyched herself into thinking things that are simply untrue about me. Should I ask her if she cheated and break NC? Or ask her sibling who was with her if he thinks something was a little odd? I'm not sure...but this would give me closure. I feel like the guilt would eat away at her eventually if she was lying.
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 What will this change? You find out: -She cheated- you are broken up, she doesnt want to be with you -She didn't cheat- you are broken up, she doesn't want to be with you Pick one and go with it, when the dust settles, end result is the same either way. Only YOU can give yourself closure. Either answer (cheated/didn't cheat) will only raise more questions in your mind.
aed Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 You are obsessive about this and becoming compulsive about it. How does it change the situation. If she cheated and denies, does it change youre situation. Just move on. You will never know. When she tells you that she cheated: you will feel bad about yourself. When she regrets her decision about breaking up. she will make it clear to you and when you are interested in her at time, then ask about it. This girl shouldn't be in your mind right now.
movingon12 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) a) Should I ask her if she cheated and break NC? b) Or ask her sibling who was with her if he thinks something was a little odd? I'm not sure... c) but this would give me closure d) I feel like the guilt would eat away at her eventually if she was lying. a) No. You asked her before, she said no. You don't believe her. If you asked her now, she'll probably still say no, and you still won't believe her. You'll just be opening up the wound again and have to start NC again. b) No. He probably doesn't know, if he does, his loyalty is to her, he'll ask her what to say, they will *all* think you're nuts, and if he says no you won't believe him anyway. c) Oh hell no it won't. Whether she says 'yes' or whether she says 'no' all it will do is raise hundreds more questions. d) *If* she did it, she'll feel a bit guilty about it anyway, whether or not you know. But *if* she did it, she broke up with you soon afterwards which was the right thing to do and didn't tell you to protect your feelings. So basically no, no, no, no, no, 1000 times no. Edited November 25, 2012 by movingon12
Sugarkane Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 You may never find out like I did. If there was some way of finding out I would've wasted time blaming myself. Even if they did 9/10 lue about it.
Recommended Posts