Ahminah Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I have been dating my boyfriend on and off for the last 3 years. We have had major ups and downs and he has been unfaithful. This go round we have not spent as much time together as we had in the past. I told him that it was important to me that we touch base once a day meaning a call or text but that seems almost impossible for him to do, so it turned into every other day and only spending one night a week together. In my experience with him this usually means he is seeing someone else but I never had solid evidence just a gut feeling and him getting caught up in lies. I have been guarded waiting for the other shoe to drop Recently we had this "where is this relationship going" talk, interestingly enough he brought it up not me. He asked me where did I see us going, and I just answered him with the same question and he said that we should not keep waiting we should move in together and get married. I told him that I was fine with that and I would love to live together and eventually become his wife. However, I told him that I wanted him to be sure this is what he wanted to do. Well, last week when I asked him what we were doing for Thanksgiving he said that he was going out of town with his mom. I asked him when he was going to tell me this and he said that he just found out. We spoke the day he left which was Thanksgiving and I have not heard from him since. I had a sneaking suspicion that he was going out of town with another woman since I found out. So I called his mom's home phone today and she answered (he and his mom were due back in town on Tuesday) I just hung up. So now that I have proof of yet another lie, my question is how do I deal with this situation??? Please don't misunderstand it is OVER, I am DONE. I just don't know if I should confront him, just start no contact, or what.
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 YOU are the only thing that matters right now and forever. Do whatever makes YOU feel better! If you want to disappear, ignore everything and make him go crazy or if you want to rip him a new one, either way just do it. Keep in mind though, if you confront him/rip him a new one, you might empower him and the satisfaction you get will only be temporary.
movingon12 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 If it was me I would go NC - just because he'll be waiting for you to start calling and texting to find out where he is, planning all the BS excuses he is going to make etc etc If you don't contact him or even seem to care where he is anymore, that's going to bother him far more than you turning into a (justifiably) crazy lady and shouting abuse.
Gottabestrong Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 What an a-hole! I am sorry you are in this situation. My advice is to do whatever makes you feel good. If you want to confront him in person about it, send him an email or just drop off the face of the planet, do it! Whatever you do, make sure it won't allow him to hurt you any further.
Author Ahminah Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 Thanks so much for the advice guys. Last night I gave him a call to see if he would answer his phone (I had no intention of telling him what I knew), and he didn't answer, shocker right? I left him a message saying I was just calling to see how they were enjoying the trip. Well, I didn't answer when he called back 2 hrs later I sent him to VM. He was speaking in a weird hushed tone saying that everything is going well, he repeated that statement like 5 times it was weird, and he called me by my name which he hardly every does, he usually says Baby or Sweetie. An hour later he sends a text saying that he called me xoxoxo, I ignored it. I am just so angry and am really leaning toward no contact because even though I would temporarily feel better as Navy mentioned, but will it help in the long run. I am just so
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