bubcake Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I'm 26. During the last few years, a few women have confided in me that when they first met me they either 1) disliked me , or 2) were very nervous talking to me because I gave off the "player vibe". Ironically, I'm very inexperienced with women and have not dated in over 4 years. I have no interest in "flings" or using women in 1 night stands and I am usually just being friendly when I meet new people. My question is, is there a way that a man can stop giving off a "player vibe"? I don't even understand how I can be conveying that vibe in the first place so don't really know what to do. Is this normal?
mortensorchid Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 What exactly is a "player vibe" that you give off? If you don't know, ask a woman friend for clarification then share it.
jcrew11 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I'm 26. During the last few years, a few women have confided in me that when they first met me they either 1) disliked me , or 2) were very nervous talking to me because I gave off the "player vibe". Ironically, I'm very inexperienced with women and have not dated in over 4 years. I have no interest in "flings" or using women in 1 night stands and I am usually just being friendly when I meet new people. My question is, is there a way that a man can stop giving off a "player vibe"? I don't even understand how I can be conveying that vibe in the first place so don't really know what to do. Is this normal? I'm not sure, but it could be: arrogance, selfish, A.D.D./short attention span on women, too cocky, too much ego, too smooth/cool, too flashy/bling, too 'over-the-top', too self-centered, to self-involved, too much 'jersey shore' vibe, too loud, too much partying. I was just giving out ideas. Maybe some of these girls are looking for reliable, nerdy, momma's boys that go to church every week.
dasein Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 When they say that it's a supplication test, nothing more. You pass the test by saying "Why do you think you know me well enough to insult me in this way?" You fail it by giving a bunch of earnest reasons why you aren't actually a player. 2
Author bubcake Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 Dasein , that's great advice man. Thanks a lot. I've never thought of it that way.
musemaj11 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Player vibe is a PLUS, dude. Women love swagger. When a woman says "You are a player", it means "You have been pre-selected by all the other women so I want you, too, but at the same time I'm afraid to get hurt". 1
USMCHokie Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I agree with all. You want to be seen as a player...women want to be the one who "tames" the player. Use to your advantage... 1
phineas Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I had 2 women accuse me of being a player which is BS since I dated them for months without sex. I stopped wasting my time on them. A yr later when I dropped 50lbs both those women were blowing up my phone. So it wasn't my "player" status, it was my belly status that concerned them. LOL!
truth_seeker Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 During the last few years, a few women have confided in me that when they first met me they either 1) disliked me , or 2) were very nervous talking to me because I gave off the "player vibe". It's because you're a good-looking guy who intimidates them.
ssd360 Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 If a girl calls you a player make a harmless joke out of it. Don't try and defend yourself because then you just fall into that trap because you gotta remember its one of those test questions. Simply reply with something funny/cocky I sometimes say "yes i am a player i play on a basketball team" or simply reply with the same question back at them. Make your own joke!
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 When they say that it's a supplication test, nothing more. You pass the test by saying "Why do you think you know me well enough to insult me in this way?" You fail it by giving a bunch of earnest reasons why you aren't actually a player. Great call dasein. Women are going to try and figure you out and try to see what kind of guy you really are, what you're looking for, and what you really have to offer them. - Just for fun, I'll go with the flow and if it ends I won't be too bothered by it - Short term guy, we'll see where it goes but I'm not very enthusiastic or interested - Long-term guy, I can see myself with this man in the future, he has the qualities I'm looking for - Not interested, I don't want anything to do with this guy All the above (except for the last one obviously) she'll make a determination of whether she is ok with that and continue onward, but she tries to understand at some preset level where to invest emotionally with you and what your "potential" is...keyword is potential, that's why women date men for the long-haul. 1
freetolove Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 not really, why don't you just start being yourself, you're probably doign something unnatural that makes women feel uncomfortable.
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