Should I give my lazy boyfriend a second chance?

[maripoza]

Hello..

I’m new here, so I’ll try to this as best as I can. My boyfriend and I havebeen dating for two years and a half, we are 18 now. He is the sweetest guy Iever met, he is my best friend and I love him very much, the only problem isthat he is lazy. He dropped out of high school, he quit his job and hasn’tfound one since. I have depression and anxiety, and yesterday was a very badday, I broke up with him, and he just seemed so fine with it, not like beforewhere he would come after me and do anything to solve the problem, according tohim ''his heart has condition to pain", because I’ve tried to break withhim before ( I’m very special sometimes ) he said he will wait for me andthat he loves me, I love him too and I love being with him, and I just want totalk to him and be happy again, but at the same time I remember all the thingshe promised and how he is not doing anything at all, and also ALL the things mymother says to me about him (my family don’t really like his laziness). Whatshould I do? Back up and try to solve the problem, knowing he might not changeor just keep on going even though I have an empty space in my heart. im sorry this is long, and i hope someone is able to help me

[Feelin Frisky]

I vote for letting him go. Only he can change himself and if he wants to just goof off rather than chase you, let him wander off into his own world and don't take it personally. If you like ambition, perhaps you should try throwing yourself into some of your own where you will get noticed by other motivated people.

[not-a-drive-by]

How long has he quit his job for? Is he actively seeking for a job? Sometimes it's very difficult to find a job, especially if you don't have much skills and qualifications. My ex is one of the lazy kinds (but I still love him for him), and when we first met, he was starting to drop out of college and was unemployed. He was very lazy with his applications but when we started dating, I encouraged him and he picked up his pace. He is still in the same company 2.5 years later, with a promotion . That is just a little back story, but, the main point is, he needs to try and put the effort in. If he isn't putting the effort in, there is nothing you can do to change him. If he was willing to put the effort to chase you or wait for you in the past, but not now, I'd say keep on going.

[maripoza]

Well because I stayed in high school I wanted to go to prom, so he staredworking at McDonalds, I think he worked there for three months, he quitted in June.And I know it’s hard, but he just doesn’t care about it, when I try to talk tohim he gets moody and said he applied, but it’s been a while :/

[not-a-drive-by]

He worked in McDonalds to pay for your Prom? Or he didn't want to go with you to the Prom, so you dumped him? If he gets moody whenever you ask about his applications, chances are, he hasn't made the effort and is starting to feel the pressure from you. On the topic of pressure, are you and your family placing high expectations and pressure on him? At the age of 18, it might not be his first priority to find a job, but rather to have fun and party. But at the end of the day, he is not willing to make the effort to get you back. Like Feelin_Frisky said, let him wander off into his own world. He will realise what he has lost.

[KraftDinner]

You shouldn't break up with him and expect him to come after you. Thatll bite you in the ass eventually.

 

I know that's beside the point.

[maripoza]

no no he didnt work to pay for my stuff, he wanted to work to pay his stuff, and was 6 months ago. and he is not the party kind of guy, he just doesnt do anything, i didnt put pressure on him to find a job, it was a just and example..i didnt dump him because he didnt do what i wanted him to do