StandOut Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Well after trying to get my 4 year ex back after a 3 month break. Apparently she's to hurt to get back with me. She says she love me but yet starts talking to some guy and puts it on FB. Obviously out of spite. So after all the flowers and ****, she told me she was moving on and I should too. So I did the no contact for about a week. She text me a random quote from our favorite movie. And the next day I broke no contact by saying "What is all that about?" she says it just reminded her of me. I told her that I love her to death and I want to be with her but she said she is moving on and she made it public on FB for people can let me know so as much it hurts me I'm doing the same. So then she tells me that she is not talking to him no more, that she is not seeing anybody. A few days later when I'm out with a few females she text me to say she love me.(Now this might have been my biggest mistake) I text her back I loved her too and that I want see her. She met me at my place and we had sex. A few days later I asked her again to work things out. Now she says that she is to hurt to date or talk to anybody right now and she needs time to heal. We've been out a few times after that and had Sex a twice after that. Now my mother invites her over for thanksgiving. Surprisingly she shows up. We ate we drank we danced we kissed and end up having sex and she spent the night. Mind you 2 days before this I asked again to lets work things out and again she tells me she's not ready that she is not going to force herself. But she textes me everynight. I don't know what to do. Should I take a slow to see if she comes around or should I sit down and have a serious talk with her and commit the no contact again. I'm so confused by her mix signals
RhapsodyinBlue Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 (edited) It's always hard when your feelings are tied to someone and you have deep history with them. I would say guard your heart because there is a chance she could hurt you again. You really need to have a serious conversation with her. I don't think it's fair to YOU that she's sending mixed feelings and make sure to tell her that. You've expressed your interest in possibly getting back together. So she knows you still have deep feelings for her. Unfortunately, her behavior pretty much translates TO ME as, "I'm going to keep him around to occupy me UNTIL I am able to make a final decision and/or find somebody else." It sounds a bit selfish to me. She needs to understand that your feelings are on the line. Remember she never promised you she'd get back with you even if her actions are different. So if she decides to leave you, it'd be fair (well I think unfair lol) game. So set feelings aside now and establish your boundaries. If you do not establish boundaries, you will build expectations. Once those expectations are not met from her, you will be hurt even more all because you THOUGHT her behavior was showing something different than her words. Hypothetically speaking, if she decided to leave you, she would be getting what she wanted. Would you be getting what you wanted? It's simply not fair. Whatever you do, don't allow yourself to become a seat filler. If she needs time to heal, then it may be best to have NC with her. Your heart is on the line. So guard it well. Edited November 24, 2012 by RhapsodyinBlue Messed up on a word 2
salmagundi Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Rhapsody nailed my friend. My ex did this to me to. We broke up but kept talking, spending time, having sex etc. I was actually foolish enough to think we were on track to reconcile but then after 5 weeks of this she went away for a couple of weeks. When she got back everything was off, she had met someone, slept with him and now only wanted to be friends with me. F%?k that needless to say. Be careful because women (well, ok men too) often want to break up, but don't want to be alone. After all, sex with the ex is easy and comfortable. But avoid my mistake. I allowed myself to be my exes rebound...her crutch to lean on. I actually helped my ex to get over her by still being around and sleeping with her and offering her everything she got from the relationship without her having to be in the relationship. And when she finds someone else you will know it because she will disappear...
Recommended Posts