Inlovewithher Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 I would like to apologize ahead of time for all the spelling/punctuation errors along with the wall of text. It started in the 8th grade in a science class; that was when I first saw the 'emo' girl that would captivate me. Her name is Samantha, I was talking to a friend about her one day when she said I should ask her out; of course I was nervous, so my friend ended up doing it for me, even tho I said no (simply because I figured I would be rejected). We started dating that day, after school we would walk to a nearby park in the small town and hang out, or just cuddle up as if it was a cold inters day. We had a few classes together and one of them was an art class; something she was very good at, she always wanted to be an artist or do something that was heavly involved. I started to to touch her and she liked it (we never did any thing with each other, before or after). After a while of dating we kissed, I was her first kiss, and she was my first kiss. After time she began to seem preoccupied and distant, I found out she was flirting with a guy in highschool(no longer emo, was just a phase for her) We broke up and I blamed myself for what happened. I began to see less of her, I was friends with her on social networking sites, I would always see pictures of them both together, so many love statuses and such and I got jelous, but I was a fool in the relationship.They began to fight and brake up every week or two for atleast 2 years, they would get back together on the same day tho. He would always guilt trip her and make it seem like it was all her fault, I could not stand what he was doing to her.She lost her virginity to him, after that she seemed to fall completely head over heels for him, even she started to blame herself for the breakups. We started to hang out a little at her house (her parents were there) I really enjoyed spending time with her, and her parents said they liked me. Her boyfriend tho they wanted nothing to do with, they really do not like him. After they found out she and him were dating they wanted them to stop, of course she lied and said they no longer were. Then one day she became pregnant and had to tell her mom. They made her get the abortion pill and they told him that he had to join the military/cost guard or something or they will have him arrested (because she was under age and he was over, it would have been rape). So he signed up, he failed a druig test (he said it was because he wanted to get out of it so he could keep seeing her) he never went into service or anthing not even training; he has had a history of smoking and drinking alot along with partying, she hates it all, he always prommised to stop it all....but he never did, he just repeditly broke promise after promise and she kept believing him. One day they broke up for a few days, where he admitted he cheated on her the day before they broke up. She was mad for about a day then she forgave him; now I have no proof but I think he is still constantly cheating on her... After they got back together the cycle of breaking up was starting to dissipear; I told him to treat her the way she deserves, she never did anything wrong..she is faithful and a wonderful person. After saying that he snapped on me and started making little stupid remarks at which she got angry at. He knows nothing of me yet he wishes I was dead, she used to always have to ask him if it was ok to hang out with me, of course he said no so she would tell me. Eventuatly she stopped really listening to him controlling her life, he never wanted her to hang out with any guy friends, yet he himself could hang out with as many girls as he liked. He is still extremely jelous even tho they both say they are now engaged to eachother for over a year. Everyday for years I find myself checking up on her profile seeing how her day went and if she is ok, always bringing back feelings I have for her,I can not go a single day without thinking of her, we spent blackfriday with her family shopping untill 4 am, we went out own way together and waiting outside of a store for it to oppen, the line grew and the temperature fell, she had on a thich jacket and was still freezing...I wrapped mine around her and helped warm her freezing hands with mine, while listening to music, she cuddles up next to me. I have never been that happy just to be there for her.we got back home at 8am. While driving she was getting very tired and catching herself from dozing off, I was scared...for her saftey, my own life never even came into my mind, I would rather her be ok than me; I would do anything for her; when she dropped me off she could barley stay awake but her parents home was 10 miles away, I told her she can stay and sleep in my bed while I sleep on the couch, I did not want her falling asleep while driving but she said she could not, so she left, I went inside and called her then told her to put the phone on speaker so she did not have to hold it, I stayed on the phone till she got home safe, then we slept till 4pm and went to play laser tag together and alot of other games at a large game palace place 50 miles from our house; we never really have free time as I work a full time job and plan on starting college in the spring of 2013 (i'm 19) and she has a parttime job where she works on weekends and has college every day (she is 18 and not like other girls, never partys, drinks or smokes and is very responsible, I am the same way). Her boyfriend has not had a job for more than a week at a time and currently for the last few years just plays xbox daily not even trying to get a job. He always wantes her to pay for their dates and such as well. I found myself having a nightmare about something happening to her and I could not sleep the rest of the night; I woke up crying for her, after 5 years I can not get over her, Her fiance seems to treat her like a piece of meat, I can not stand that, I just wanna be with her again. I have had a few girlfriends over the years( by the way I am a virgin, these feelings are not about sex.) but I still found myself thinking of her. I have been single for a few years. I only wrote this as a very short clip of part of my life, the only part I really care deeply about; I am madly in love with her still, I don't know if we will ever get back together, I can only hope, but I have never had any luck with that.
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