Tom67 Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Hi, very sorry I think i wrongly posted this in the 'Break-ups' forum... Thought it fitted better here. Anyway. Two weeks ago I made a really hard decision to break up with my extremely loyal girlfriend of 2 years. Im 24 and she's 22, and we were each others first. She was absolutely mortified, and it seemingly came as a total shock to her. My reasons for breaking up came from me convincing myself that we weren't right for each other, she comes from the town, I come from the country, she wants to climb a financial career ladder, and I'm happy in a decent, comfortable job surrounding myself with hobbies. We rarely fell out, and we would always be there for each other. She was so understanding and looking back, the sweetest girl I know. But I broke up with her because the last few months I've felt that long term (ie years to come) we would end up going in different directions, so I thought up everything I had to say to her, visited her and told her straight off that I don't think we should carry on. In hindsight I really wish that before I'd done that, we'd sat and had a good talk, because the things she said after I told her I wanted to break up made me regret it. Things like 'I thought we were strong enough to cross bridges when we got to them', and 'whatever our differences, I still love you and want to share them with you'. I didn't feel fair backtracking on what I'd already said prior though. I care about her a ridiculous amount, and love her to bits. I feel that possibly I took her love for granted. A case of only realising what you had when you've lost it. Now I miss her so much. I realise that if we were to get back to together then there WOULD be the chance it wouldn't work out in the end (for the above reasons), or even the chance it wouldnt feel the same. I'm torn now because I can't stand the thought of hurting her again. Two weeks isnt long I know, but if I got into contact with her again I dont want to leave it too long that she's put all her effort into getting over it only to be 'messed around' by me. If anyone has any similar experiences, please share, thanks!
not-a-drive-by Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 I realise that if we were to get back to together then there WOULD be the chance it wouldn't work out in the end (for the above reasons), or even the chance it wouldnt feel the same. Please just leave her be. You are still holding doubts about your relationship. Two weeks is not enough to think about anything. Of course you will miss her, you have been with her for 2 years and suddenly she is out of your life. I dont want to leave it too long that she's put all her effort into getting over it only to be 'messed around' by me. I find this somewhat very selfish. You don't want to be with her, yet you don't want her to move on. You will be messing around with her if you contact her too early. You are doubting the relationship even at this point. It will be quite cruel to give her hope, only to take it away because you've changed your mind again. Perhaps you can talk to her about the reasons you broke up with her and see how she feels, but I wouldn't suggest jumping back into the relationship right away.
Droplet Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Were you unsure of your feelings at all ? Was there a loss of attraction ? Were you afraid to commit with her ? Because otherwise, and don't take any offense please, I think these were kinda dumb reasons for dumping her.
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