Kahleesi Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Hi I don't know where to start, I find my self goggling all kinds of questions like "my ex cheated on me and know hates me" and "he said he doesn't know what he wants then moved in with another woman". There is so much advice good and bad but none that's specific to me. I can't word it right but I'm so hurt and confused, so I'm just gonna say it like I see/feel it and hope that someone has insight for me I was with my ex boyfriend for nearly 10 years and we have a 7 year old son together, my first relationship first love. We were inseparable for the first 5 years never had huge fights only petty arguments. He started working away, it was hard for all 3 of us constant calls, txt, video calls with "I love you" and "I miss you so much". 2010 he left me and our son with his family in a small town and flew to the city for a concert, he was suppose to pick us up from the airport but didn't. I call him a little pissed off and he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore and then picked his stuff up and moved in with his aunty. I was devastated absolutely shattered I had no clue he was unhappy he never made any clue that he was considering leaving. I didn't handle it well at all I started drinking lost over 40kgs in a matter of weeks.. I found out he was seeing another woman but he swears he didn't cheat because he dumped me the same night they slept together for the first time. Fast forward 8 months and we meet up at a nightclub and end up spending the night together, he moved back in with me and after a few months of talking we find even ground. We were stronger than ever life was perfect again, we had found a new lease on life. We finally got the puppy we always wanted, started planning our wedding and started the process of buying a house. Then mid 2012 he came home from work and was so distant, we have always been a very sexual couple and the relations were cold and unfamiliar, I tried to talk to him but he was acting so strange. The next day I was very upset when he asked what was wrong I told him it felt like we were strangers and he agreed then he told me "I don't know what I want anymore it just feels better being on my own" I was so torn I started crying, I was driving at the time. I quite literally "mentally bitch slapped" myself and dropped him off and went home packed his stuff and told him not to contact me for a few days. I don't know what I expected from him I guess I wanted him to want me. But a week later he was living with another woman. I know all the sayings "once a cheater always a cheater" "a leopard can't change it's spots" but I truly believed his sincerity when he would say "I love you so much I will never jeprodize our relationship again" He still 3 months on won't define the breakup, he is so cold and nasty to me all the time, he wants our son to go stay with him with his new girlfriend and won't even consider the concept of our son hurting because of the breakup. Our son crys and argues with me because he wants his dad back so we can be a family again, when I tell him he gets so angry and starts yelling at me that I'm playing mind games with my son. I've taken courses to help me deal with not only my issues but my sons, when he asks me questions I answer them to the best of my knowledge with age appropriate truth. When I broach the subject of our sons issues he tells me to tell him "not to worry about adult problems just play with your toys and be happy" I don't want to dismiss my son or de prioritise him in any way. My son blames me for his dad leaving and says I won't let him come home. I think my son going into another family environment so soon after our breakup could be worst for him but my ex just thinks I'm jealous. He acts like he hates me and threatens me with violence all the time. He is constantly accusing me of infidelity, I have never been unfaithful EVER. I don't know what I want from this maybe just a ear or eye in this case I feel so alone I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. Any help, words of advise would be greatly appreciated
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