fenderjames Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Hi all . Haven't posted in awhile . Am over a year into no contact . Doing alot better than at the start . Went to a concert Tuesday and the ex was sitting directly behind me . No joke . 9000 ppl went to the show. Anyway, I didnt realize it was her for a second and then it hit like a friggin wall . She didnt look at me I turned away and sat . I didnt turn around the rest of the night and did not see her on the way out . Terrible wave of anxiety for the entire show and terribly self concious the whole time , still quite strong today . Not to mention she looked amazing and I feel like Im falling down into a hole again . I think maybe I'm in shock or something . I just know that a week ago I thought of her but it was certainly copable . Since that night I havent stopped thinking of her and it really really hurts . Dreams too . That didnt happen before . Anyway , I feel like Im at the bottom of the mountain again . I sincerely hope this passes rapidly - as I cannot go through the last year again . I swear the universe is f**&ing with me . 9000 ppl at a show that she couldnt name 5 songs and shes right behind me ? I wont break no contact that would bring on more pain . But has anyone come this far and been knocked back so quickly ? Im a bit scared to be honest . What if I see her again sometime in a more intimate setting and am forced to converse platonically ? Judging by the tears these last few days I have to assume it would be devestating . Damn damn damn ! Some say everything happens for a reason . Love to here one for this lovely little experience . Man , sorry to rant folks ... I'm really pissed off too I guess .
not-a-drive-by Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Don't have any experience of bumping into an ex yet, but, you will feel better after a few gloomy days. It's just a bump along the way to recovery. When you keep mentioning that there were 9000 other people in the concert, and she happened to sit behind you, are you trying to interpret as fate bringing you guys back? If you haven't seen here for over a year, chances of seeing her again will be pretty slim, unless you or her try to bump into each other. Don't fret about it too much. Focus on now.
coltsfan1 Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 That's just shat luck seeing her there. Trust me I have the same luck at times, but all in all its just a bump. You are kind of restarting NC and I am sure that's how you feel. But its no fault of your own that was one on the times when you just have to sack up and push through it. I had a similar experience when my ex and I first broke up, I sat with my friends laughed had a good time. Trust me this might have worked in your favor if you had fun and acted like yourself. How did you behave while at said concert?
Author fenderjames Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 Hi ty for your opinions . Its appreciated . 1. Drive by - I didnt keep mentioning 9000 ppl . I stated it once and reiterated it again to strengthen the ridiculous coincidence that had occured . Nothing more . After a year of no contact Im not fool enough to even entertain the word fate . But thank you all the same 2. Colts fan - yeah ur right . ****e luck . Re: behavior at the show ... I didnt turn around once , cheered alot and smoked a joint with a buddy . These things would all have been done wether she was there or not . So basically I acted totally indifferent . Acted is the key phrase there . Cheers
Sugarkane Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 FenderJames I think you did really well and I hope I could do the same if ever a similar thing happened to me. I am confident I could.
coltsfan1 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Fender if you played it like you stated that is the exact way you should have. She is a stranger now, if she wanted to talk she should come to you. Especially if she is the dumper!! Sounds to me like you are in a better place than you realize. You should be proud you have been in an acquired situation and YOU controlled it instead of it controlling you!!
Mr Scorpio Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 What if I see her again sometime in a more intimate setting and am forced to converse platonically ? Judging by the tears these last few days I have to assume it would be devestating. I dont see how you could ever be forced to converse. In late August I ran into my ex for the first time in two years at a concert. I did my best to avoid her. When she eventually wandered over to the group of people I was with, I simply walked away. No broken NC. No consolation. No fuss.
YorickBrown Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Don't have any experience of bumping into an ex yet, but, you will feel better after a few gloomy days. It's just a bump along the way to recovery. When you keep mentioning that there were 9000 other people in the concert, and she happened to sit behind you, are you trying to interpret as fate bringing you guys back? If you haven't seen here for over a year, chances of seeing her again will be pretty slim, unless you or her try to bump into each other. Don't fret about it too much. Focus on now. Did someone mention Fate? "Fate has a way of putting in front of us, that which we most try to leave behind." You should feel lucky Fender, you just "bumped" into her (or she "bumped" into you) in a concert....that may or may not be "fate" or it may just be coincidence. As not-a-drive by says, its only a temporary accident of sorts (to use your handle, just a "fender-bender"), you'll get over it....Some of us has got it worse, my ex is kinda "forcing" me to "bump" into her again (i have to travel across the country and get a paternity test) after 6 months of No Contact...so it wont exactly be Fate anymore...but it could probably seal my fate ....forever.
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 What you felt/are feeling is normal, I think..... I have an ex I haven't seen/talked to in over 10 years, 10 years of NC. If I ran into that ex today my heart would jump out of my chest, I'd turn into puddy, a babbling idiot.
suladas Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 That sucks man, I know what it's like. My ex lives next door, it's nothing new to me. Seeing her at home, grocery store, getting the mail, passing each other driving,etc. F**k it's tough, but it makes you stronger in the end.
Author fenderjames Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 Thanks for the kind words of encouragement . They mean alot . You are all awesome .
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