Why do women think men have it easy in dating?.

[SmileFace]

Women like to say that men will just complain about her being too aggresive if the woman does the asking out and that men don't really like it when women do that. That men like to pursue, need the chase, it's in our nature and so on.

 

I've never seen that in real life. Women want to believe it, women want to think men don't like it just so they can use it as an excuse not to take any iniatiaves.

 

Women have this idea in their head that men... hate feeling desired. So in turn women don't make the phone calls to the guy to show intrest, or initiate hugs and kisses or really display any intrest or affection at all. But offcourse we men hate all that so why should you bother right

 

No ... Why guys lump how women act who obviously have no interest in them and never showed mutual interest in the same bracket as how women will act if she was actually interested is beyond me. If a women is interested in you she will take her hand in intiating like interest and the things you mentioned. When I said aggressive I meant women doing the intial pursuing.

[maybealone]

Is facing rejection easier than handing it out?

 

I have experienced both, and I'd say that facing rejection is easier for me because then I only have my own hurt feelings to face, not the feeling of being responsible for hurting someone else's feelings. I don't think guys look at it the same way though.

 

Women like to say that men will just complain about her being too aggresive if the woman does the asking out and that men don't really like it when women do that. That men like to pursue, need the chase, it's in our nature and so on.

 

I've never seen that in real life.

 

I have. I've chased men in my life and made the first move, and in my experience, it typically leads to a situation where I really like the guy and he has more of a "well I don't have any better options right now" attitude. The relationships that have worked best for me were the ones where the guy did the chasing.

 

That's not to say that the women chasing never works. I know a few happily married people where the woman chased and chased and chased until the man finally gave in to a date. I'm just saying it hasn't worked for me.

[Oxy Moronovich]

No, men Strive for Money and power to get girls first. All that other stuff comes after

Sure. Tell that to Alexander the Great, Frederick the Great, Otto von Bismarck, Hitler, Stalin, and a plethora of other powerful statesmen who were anything but womanizers.

[mesmerized]

Sure. Tell that to Alexander the Great, Frederick the Great, Otto von Bismarck, Hitler, Stalin, and a plethora of other powerful statesmen who were anything but womanizers.

 

In a loser's guy's eyes it's only to get women because that's the thing they struggle with. They don't understand a real "alpha male" Thought process. These men naturally enjoy and seek leading and having power and will do so in places where there is no woman to begin with. Women are attracted to this not to some guy that is trying so hard and is faking confidence just to attract women. The same I cannot say is true about women and their desire for beauty however.

[grkBoy]

Men get rejected constantly, i don't get it how women think men have it easy.

 

The only guys i know who have it easy are 7+ looking guys, while my less attractive friends get rejected like trash.

 

Women have so many options even if they are average looking, that if you are not James Bond on the white horse himself(best option they got), then you are as dead in the water as flies on a poop.

 

Here's the best "metaphor" of what women go though...and why the genders have different risks in dating.

 

Imagine you ask a girl out, she seems into you, and she says "yes". You take her out all over, maybe a few times, and spend lots of money on her.

 

YET...she turns her cheek when you try to kiss her, she won't "put out" or anything. So you ended up spending loads of money and haven't gotten anywhere off home plate.

 

NOW...imagine after all this spending, you find out she goes to some other guy's apartment and has crazy sex with him...after each date you took her out on. You find she's been using you for the money/social/intellectual end of a relationship, but some other guy who doesn't have to respect her or take her out gets to bang her.

 

 

This is what women go through in some respects. We men lose our money, but women lose their dignity. Imagine how they feel when they meet some handsome man, he seems into her, he asks her out, swoons her, and she's in his bed.

 

Then she never hears from him again and later sees him out with some other girl.

 

OR...imagine he takes her out on cheap dates (usually involving drinking), they go to his place, bang, but she can't get him to call her "girlfriend", he won't introduce her to his social circles, and won't even take her home to meet his mom.

 

The "sex" in her situation is the "money" in your situation.

 

In many ways, we men at least can get rejected without having to lose much. Imagine if all the women we approach let us take them out on one date, then never called or anything after that. How would you feel after 10-20 "first dates" that all ended up the same way?

[crude]

 

 

 

I have. I've chased men in my life and made the first move, and in my experience, it typically leads to a situation where I really like the guy and he has more of a "well I don't have any better options right now" attitude. The relationships that have worked best for me were the ones where the guy did the chasing.

 

That's not to say that the women chasing never works. I know a few happily married people where the woman chased and chased and chased until the man finally gave in to a date. I'm just saying it hasn't worked for me.

 

 

That sounds like it's more a case of men looking for something better routinely while women stick to what they have and try to change the guy. If a man is the aggressor but finds someone better along the way, he'll probably just dump her anyway, not much different than if she initiated everything.

[aed]

Here's the best "metaphor" of what women go though...and why the genders have different risks in dating.

 

Imagine you ask a girl out, she seems into you, and she says "yes". You take her out all over, maybe a few times, and spend lots of money on her.

 

YET...she turns her cheek when you try to kiss her, she won't "put out" or anything. So you ended up spending loads of money and haven't gotten anywhere off home plate.

 

NOW...imagine after all this spending, you find out she goes to some other guy's apartment and has crazy sex with him...after each date you took her out on. You find she's been using you for the money/social/intellectual end of a relationship, but some other guy who doesn't have to respect her or take her out gets to bang her.

 

 

This is what women go through in some respects. We men lose our money, but women lose their dignity. Imagine how they feel when they meet some handsome man, he seems into her, he asks her out, swoons her, and she's in his bed.

 

Then she never hears from him again and later sees him out with some other girl.

 

OR...imagine he takes her out on cheap dates (usually involving drinking), they go to his place, bang, but she can't get him to call her "girlfriend", he won't introduce her to his social circles, and won't even take her home to meet his mom.

 

The "sex" in her situation is the "money" in your situation.

 

In many ways, we men at least can get rejected without having to lose much. Imagine if all the women we approach let us take them out on one date, then never called or anything after that. How would you feel after 10-20 "first dates" that all ended up the same way?

 

I agree on one thing: I do believe a girl will feel disapointed when a girl doesnt kiss her when she is opening up to it. But this doesnt feel the same as an rejection.

 

But this I don't understand:

the girl takes risks because she could like someone, sleep with him and then it turns out that it doesn't work out?

Again how is this risk taking?

 

It is not like a girl gives something away when is having sex with you. They (might even enough) it as much (or mabey more) as you. also like men dont experience bas sex!

 

A women is (or should be) an independent person how makes her choices, and only she responsible for her actions and her cooping with them. And if sex is an investment for the girls you date, then you should really look out for other types of girls!

 

second:

 

A guy can also get hurt when he get's itimate with someone. for example: when he hears she was just using him as rebound, and he really liked the girl.

Edited November 26, 2012 by aed

[peytondoll]

Though, women are usually the genders initiating the divorce, and couldn't be happier when they do.

 

You rarely hear about the men approaching their wives saying, "I want a divorce".

 

Men are less likely to divorce even when they are unhappy due to fear of financial difficulties/the legal system. It doesnt mean men are happier in marriages...because they really arent. Just because you dont divorce someone doesnt mean youre happy.

 

I meant women obsessing over their own appearance. I was originally responding to this post:

 

 

 

I don't believe that level of obsession on appearance is helpful, or attractive. If that is the woman's "effort" to win a man, I believe those efforts are misplaced.

 

Not really. Women place so much effort on appearance because thats what men are into. Yes, women compete with each other over their looks but what are they competing for? MEN. If men were evolutionary wired to prefer smarter girls, women would be competing over who studies the most.

 

I think its funny when I meet guys that say they hate it when women focus on their appearance. Unless youre extremely lucky, very few women (past early 20's) can roll out of bed and eat/treat themselves however they indugle and look good. Guys say this crap but then they ALWAYS pick the girl who puts more effort into her appearance. Theyve done scientific studies on pictures of girls- one with absolutely no makeup, one with some on to enhance her looks (such as makeup to even her skin tone and enhance her eyes) and one that wears more than the previous one but with more obvious makeup (like eyeshadow and lipstick). Very very few men pick the first one, some pick the last...the majority pick the middle one. So yes, some (and notice I say some because I know many that think otherwise) men prefer a girl with a more natural look but theyll always go for the better looking girl. period.

 

Anything I have learned about men...dont listen to what they say. Look at how they act and their life choices. That speaks volumes about what they prefer

Edited November 27, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[somedude81]

Not really. Women place so much effort on appearance because thats what men are into. Yes' date=' women compete with each other over their looks but what are they competing for?[/quote']

Can any guy here remember the last time a girl competed for you?

 

Anybody?

[peytondoll]

Can any guy here remember the last time a girl competed for you?

 

Anybody?

 

Not you specifically, but for men in general.

 

Why do men compete in terms of wealth? Same thing just reversed

[somedude81]

Not you specifically, but for men in general.

What does that mean?

 

Why do men compete in terms of wealth? Same thing just reversed

I don't think men compete to see who has more wealth and power, to impress women.

 

Men compete because they want to be the best among other men.

[peytondoll]

Women compete with each other over looks because we are well aware thats how we are valued by society and men.

 

Men that say they dont prefer a better looking chick that put more effort into her appearance are lying to themselves or is a genetic mutation. That is not natural

[Failboy]

OP, you have a nag for assuming that certain things who'd suck to be true are actually true.

Women, at least in general, don't really think men have it so easy.

It's just that they don't really care and rarely show any empathy with men who struggle. Doesn't mean they think men have it easy though. They just think men who struggle are losers who don't deserve any better.

 

Just lately some girl who just rejected me straight up told me: "I feel sorry for you guys, haha. Aaaaalways getting rejected and still going on and on.."

[maybealone]

Men are less likely to divorce even when they are unhappy due to fear of financial difficulties/the legal system. It doesnt mean men are happier in marriages...because they really arent. Just because you dont divorce someone doesnt mean youre happy.

 

Yeah, this is my issue with the whole "women do the divorcing" claim on LS. Men are content with adequate marriages, and they'd rather stay in unhappy marriages rather than face financial/child consequences, and they never want to be the bad guy. It's so much easier when you can say, "My wife left me," even if you treated her like crap until she couldn't take it anymore.

 

So yes' date=' some (and notice I say some because I know many that think otherwise) men prefer a girl with a more natural look but theyll always go for the better looking girl. period.[/quote']

 

Most people tend to label me as a "natural look," but I don't leave the house without some makeup. It's minimal, but it's there.

 

Anything I have learned about men...dont listen to what they say. Look at how they act and their life choices. That speaks volumes about what they prefer

 

Over my many, many years in and out of the dating world one thing has remained consistent: Men say they want a nice girl, but most of them continually date/marry high-maintenance b*tches. And many of the men who claim they want an average girl have a far different idea of average than a lot of people.

 

So yes, actions are much more accurate than words.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Yeah, this is my issue with the whole "women do the divorcing" claim on LS. Men are content with adequate marriages, and they'd rather stay in unhappy marriages rather than face financial/child consequences, and they never want to be the bad guy. It's so much easier when you can say, "My wife left me," even if you treated her like crap until she couldn't take it anymore.

 

Then what does this say about women? If you married a guy who treated you like crap, then that means you have a poor choice in men.

Over my many, many years in and out of the dating world one thing has remained consistent: Men say they want a nice girl, but most of them continually date/marry high-maintenance b*tches. And many of the men who claim they want an average girl have a far different idea of average than a lot of people.

 

So yes, actions are much more accurate than words.

Really idiotic stuff in the above paragraph. If most men date/marry high-maintenance bitches, then most women are high-maintenance bitches.

[peytondoll]

Then what does this say about women? If you married a guy who treated you like crap, then that means you have a poor choice in men.

 

Really idiotic stuff in the above paragraph. If most men date/marry high-maintenance bitches, then most women are high-maintenance bitches.

 

WOW. Such a huge stereotype that men dont change after marriage! My cousin works at an agency that serves married couples and she says alot of her clients complain their husbands are nothing like the man they dated before marrying. Many women will complain their nice boyfriend became cold detached and unaffectionate. My cousin jokes along with the saying of "marriage makes women close their legs" is "marriage makes a nice guy lazy and detached" at her agency. She says she hears constantly that men think good sex after marriage is grabbing your ass, trying to shove his dick into you and then he complains about how youre not wet enough. My cousin says she has heard variations of this story over and over!

 

High maintenance bitches keep the interest of men more than a sweet natured girl. This works both ways too (******* men tend to hold the interest of women). Only really mature people are able to overcome these tendencies...and well I am sad to say alot of people in our society dont really fully grow up (mentally anyway)

[fortyninethousand322]

Reality: people get what they deserve. If you're married to someone cold hearted or high maintenance, etc. (male or female) and you're unhappy? Guess what? You deserve it. We don't live in a society in which you are forced into marriage against your will. You chose to get married and you chose who you got married to. Take responsibility for it...

[mesmerized]

What does that mean?

 

I don't think men compete to see who has more wealth and power, to impress women.

 

Men compete because they want to be the best among other men.

 

Its honestly really simple. Women compete in the beauty department only to attract men, why? Because beauty is only a power for women in the context of attracting men. The more beautiful a woman is, the better life and men she can usually get. If men didn't exist, beauty wouldn't bring women any power, physical and financial strength would just like it currently is for men.

[ScreamingTrees]

Life just sucks in general, doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl. Nobody said it'd be easy, or fair. Life is what it is, un apologetically.

Edited November 27, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
off-topic content

[William]

Moderation cleaned up the last couple pages of this thread to retain at least tangential on-topic content.

 

The topic is 'Why do women think men have it easy in dating'?

 

Considering the content of what was cleaned up, this thread is reinstated at Stage Three and members are reminded to remain on-topic and post in a civil and respectful manner. Thanks.

[LittlePrince]

Men get rejected constantly, i don't get it how women think men have it easy.

 

The only guys i know who have it easy are 7+ looking guys, while my less attractive friends get rejected like trash.

 

Women have so many options even if they are average looking, that if you are not James Bond on the white horse himself(best option they got), then you are as dead in the water as flies on a poop.

Women only consider the top 5-15% of men who women think are attractive to be men while the rest are some other species so repulsive they are not to be brought up in polite conversation unless they wish to disparage men as a whole to help them feel better about how that top 5-15% don't want them for longer than a quickie.

[carhill]

Probably already mentioned but one potential reason why women may/do think men have it easier in dating is that the men within their field of view, meaning men they view as dating potentials, *do* have it easier in dating. The rest of men are invisible or, as one lovely MW commented to/about me this past weekend, the brother from another mother. When a man is invisible, his ease or difficulty of dating is simply irrelevant, since he is irrelevant. The men lusted after seemingly have it so easy. Fascinating stuff.

[somedude81]

Probably already mentioned but one potential reason why women may/do think men have it easier in dating is that the men within their field of view, meaning men they view as dating potentials, *do* have it easier in dating. The rest of men are invisible or, as one lovely MW commented to/about me this past weekend, the brother from another mother. When a man is invisible, his ease or difficulty of dating is simply irrelevant, since he is irrelevant. The men lusted after seemingly have it so easy. Fascinating stuff.

Those men are also the ones that they are "competing" for.

[Monm82]

I think neither have it easier overall, but when it comes to dating and sex: women do have more options.

[SmileFace]

Those men are also the ones that they are "competing" for.

Yeah, I beat this bitch with a bat today .... since she tried to talk to this guy I liked.

 

I am sorry I don't know what is considered competing. I have never competed for a guy a day in my life. If he is interested in me and I am in him - we will try at it.

 

Are you just saying girls are just waiting around for a certain type of guy?

 

Since I don't find that true. For examply my group of friends -we are all 22, there are 5 of us - which one of the 5 is lesbian. However from the 4 of us we all date in different pools of guys so we all have our options of our own. Most women aren't competing for this bogus 20%.

 

What happen to all the unemployed guys living off of their girl friends -- you know girls compete after that type too.. these guys can't all fall into the 20% as well?