letsjustlive Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Women obsess over their looks not for men, but because of or for other women. It's called intrasexual competition. Men have little, if anything, to do with the lengths women will go to to make themselves attractive or desirable to men. It's the "competition" they're worrying (even if it's just subconsciously) about. Women's magazines are written primarily by women for women. Men don't give a rat's ass about the newest innovations in mascara and hair dye. My ex's ex went so far as to upgrade her implants because her best friend got bigger ones and for some insane reason she felt she needed to keep up. The idiot landed herself stupid self in the hospital when they ended up being too big for the surgical wounds to stay closed and heal properly. This is true. If you've ever watched two women walk by each other, sometimes they'll have a "stare off" seeing who looks cuter and whatnot, who has the better outfit, etc. 1
iris219 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Women obsess over their looks not for men, but because of or for other women. It's called intrasexual competition. Men have little, if anything, to do with the lengths women will go to to make themselves attractive or desirable to men. It's the "competition" they're worrying (even if it's just subconsciously) about. Women's magazines are written primarily by women for women. Men don't give a rat's ass about the newest innovations in mascara and hair dye. So women care about their looks for men. They care about edging out the competition, so that men will choose them. Women know how visual men are; they know men care about how we look. This is why women care about how they look. When I'm going to a female friend's house to watch a movie or drink wine, I sure don't care about my looks. I throw on yoga pants and go. Women don't obsess about their looks because they care about what other women think. I care about how I look for ME and in the hopes of attracting a man.
maybealone Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 So women care about their looks for men. They care about edging out the competition, so that men will choose them. Women know how visual men are; they know men care about how we look. This is why women care about how they look. When I'm going to a female friend's house to watch a movie or drink wine, I sure don't care about my looks. I throw on yoga pants and go. Women don't obsess about their looks because they care about what other women think. Exactly. And while men don't necessarily care about specific things like mascara or hair colors, they do care about looks in general. Otherwise, why are the first questions to most women on LS with dating/relationship problems always about her looks and her size?
xxoo Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 So women care about their looks for men. They care about edging out the competition, so that men will choose them. Women know how visual men are; they know men care about how we look. This is why women care about how they look. When I'm going to a female friend's house to watch a movie or drink wine, I sure don't care about my looks. I throw on yoga pants and go. Women don't obsess about their looks because they care about what other women think. I care about how I look for ME and in the hopes of attracting a man. It is what women think will work for attracting men. But a lot of it is misdirected energy. Obsessing over looks to attract men will not have the desired result. All the women are competing to be the most attractive, in ways that men find unattractive.
Revolver Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Saying women only obsess about their looks for other women is like saying men only strive for wealth and power to compete with other men. Which is partially true 2
ThaWholigan Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Yeah but men have to work to get all that. Men have to put in effort to get relationships, sex, and marriage. No they don't. The problem is you guys see it as "work".
phineas Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Aren't you your age single with kids? Just saying.... i'm divorced. Big difference between me who was married & had kids after marriage & someone who can get a guy to knock them up but not marry them.
phineas Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I'm not saying that women shouldn't wear make up, if it makes them feel comfortable and pretty. But obsession over appearance is not an attractive quality. No, it isn't. Yet I've dated & gone on dates with women that constantly put themselves down & it's not only a turn off but just damn annoying. And I just can't understand why they do it because what their complaining about isn't even an issue for me nor is it something i've ever mentioned. I don't even want to deal with women like that anymore & i'm sure no woman wants to listen to me complain about every little thing I don't like about my body.
phineas Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Yeah but men have to work to get all that. Men have to put in effort to get relationships, sex, and marriage. No they don't. The problem is you guys see it as "work". I've never had to "work" or jump through hoops to get laid if the woman was attracted/interested in me. At least I didn't see it as "work" getting to that point. I have however learned to stop wasting my time on women who really aren't interested or want to see me "work" for it. Once you learn to disregard time-wasters they either change their mind about you or see you are not to be trifled with & seek easier prey. 1
maybealone Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Yeah but men have to work to get all that. Men have to put in effort to get relationships, sex, and marriage. One of the most attractive qualities a man can have is to actually enjoy and appreciate women, and not see dating, sex, and relationships as "work." 4
iris219 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Okay lets put it another way. Men have to get up and do stuff to get all that, men have to be proactive. Women don't have to do anything, they can be passive and apart from doing things like making sure they look presentable they only have to do the minimal amount of effort required if any at all. Men desire women. Women get desired by men. Just because you like the chase doesn't mean all men do. That’s right. Women don’t have to be to hold a conversation, have an original opinion, be compatible, or share similar worldviews. We don’t have to express affection or interest in any way. In fact, we don’t even have to leave our houses. Men line up on our porches praying we’ll say yes to a date. All we have to do is accept a date and no matter what we do, any man will fall magically in love and he’ll never cheat or treat us badly. We’ll live happily ever after, without ever exerting any effort. Good to know. I was going about it all wrong. 1
mesmerized Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 It is what women think will work for attracting men. But a lot of it is misdirected energy. Obsessing over looks to attract men will not have the desired result. All the women are competing to be the most attractive, in ways that men find unattractive. Sorry but you have no clue about dating nowadays. Advising a woman to not care about her looks, style and makeup as much is about the worst advice you can give one. Most men are extremely shallow and look for some dolled up babe. This is more pronounced in bigger cities. if you are not one or at least try to be one you will always get the bottom of the barrel or if you have little to no natural beauty you get nothing.
SmileFace Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I didn't mean that. Women make men work to get them. Women make men work to be in a relationship with them, marry them, have sex with them. Women make men work to have any affection and intimacy between them. Dating, relationships and sex in itself isn't work. The fact that women make men jump through hoops to get any of that is. So it isn't work but it is work? Am I missing something here? 2
xxoo Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Sorry but you have no clue about dating nowadays. Advising a woman to not care about her looks, style and makeup as much is about the worst advice you can give one. Most men are extremely shallow and look for some dolled up babe. This is more pronounced in bigger cities. if you are not one or at least try to be one you will always get the bottom of the barrel or if you have little to no natural beauty you get nothing. I am talking about obsessing over looks, which was the word used in the post I quoted. I'd never advise a woman or man not to care about their appearance. But I only see single women claiming that women must do X,Y, and Z to attract a man. How many women with partners credit their obsession with appearance?
mesmerized Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I didn't mean that. Women make men work to get them. Women make men work to be in a relationship with them, marry them, have sex with them. Women make men work to have any affection and intimacy between them. Dating, relationships and sex in itself isn't work. The fact that women make men jump through hoops to get any of that is. Kid, get out and gain some experience and most importantly, OBSERVE. The sex that is putting the most work for relationship and specially marriage is indeed the female. You must be very young or just simply blind to what happens around you.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Sorry but you have no clue about dating nowadays. Advising a woman to not care about her looks, style and makeup as much is about the worst advice you can give one. Where this train of thought really goes off the rails is when some women mistakenly compare a man paying for dates to a woman "needing" to spend a ton of $$ on makeup, manicures, clothes, hair, etc. in order to attract a man or be dateable. It's not the same thing at all. I don't believe that most men actually care about the "dolled up babe." A woman can get just as much mileage with men out of the way she looks by spending little as when she chooses to spend a lot. He has no idea whether she got her makeup at Neiman Marcus or Rite-Aid. Most of us (me included) buy into all the plethora of "girly" stuff that is marketed to us because we like it. 2
mesmerized Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I am talking about obsessing over looks, which was the word used in the post I quoted. I'd never advise a woman or man not to care about their appearance. But I only see single women claiming that women must do X,Y, and Z to attract a man. How many women with partners credit their obsession with appearance? Depends on your demographics, quite a lot. Sure in some small farmer town you can be chubby with no makeup and still have a partner and men after you. But you can't get away with that in every other place or you have to be fine with getting the least desirable guys. Its just how this game works. I dont agree with it but I know I have to play by its rules.
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Saying women only obsess about their looks for other women is like saying men only strive for wealth and power to compete with other men. Which is partially true. Terrible analogy. Men strive for wealth and power to dominate and influence the masses, not to compete.
xxoo Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Depends on your demographics, quite a lot. Sure in some small farmer town you can be chubby with no makeup and still have a partner and men after you. But you can't get away with that in every other place or you have to be fine with getting the least desirable guys. Its just how this game works. I dont agree with it but I know I have to play by its rules. Who said chubby? A fit woman will always turn heads--city or country. Basic healthy living goes a long way. 1
mesmerized Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Where this train of thought really goes off the rails is when some women mistakenly compare a man paying for dates to a woman "needing" to spend a ton of $$ on makeup, manicures, clothes, hair, etc. in order to attract a man or be dateable. It's not the same thing at all. I don't believe that most men actually care about the "dolled up babe." A woman can get just as much mileage with men out of the way she looks by spending little as when she chooses to spend a lot. He has no idea whether she got her makeup at Neiman Marcus or Rite-Aid. Most of us (me included) buy into all the plethora of "girly" stuff that is marketed to us because we like it. Sure, maybe in your age group. My dad doesnt care what makeup my mom puts on either After 30 years of marriage. But boy I'd be miserable if I wanted to see that as how most men my age are. I'm pretty confident that my observations are true for my age group and demographics. And Ive never known a sane woman that buys makeup just for herself and has no intention of attracting men whatsoever with it. If they do exist, they are incredibly rare.
mesmerized Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 How so? The man is the one to propose relationships and marriage in the first place. I guess women do most of the housework and child raising. But when it comes to actually keeping the relationship alive on a romantic level it's pretty much all up to the man. Maybe thats not work per say but women have to privelege of getting to be desired and loved, men don't. How old are you? Where do you live? I honestly loled when I read your post. Like how naive one can be...men try to get sex, women try to turn It in to relationship and then marriage. Women are most often the ones who push for commitment and stability because they need it more than men. Stay around here and read some more threads.
xxoo Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I don't know, mesmerized. My friends tend to be like me--natural, fit, obsessed with other things. One of my closest friends is a 28 year old woman, married 2 years now. Her husband is desirable. She only very rarely wears make up, and usually they are doing things together (their shared passion) which are not compatible with getting "dolled up".
SmileFace Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 They don't really act like they do. The guy is usually way more affectionate and loving than the girl from what I've seen in relationships. The man is usuallly first to bring up exclusivity, and start initiate kisses, hugs and holdng hands and all that stuff. Is that from what you have seen in your relationships?
maybealone Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Women make men work to get them. Women make men work to be in a relationship with them, marry them, have sex with them. Women make men work to have any affection and intimacy between them. Dating, relationships and sex in itself isn't work. The fact that women make men jump through hoops to get any of that is. First of all: This is not true for all women. Even if you add up all the experiences of every man you have ever known, it still won't even come close to representing all women. Second of all: If you do not like chasing and feel as though it is work, then you need to not date women that want to be chased. Will it cut down in the quantity of women you can pursue a relationship with? Probably. But it will also cut down on you doing something you find unpleasant to land a woman that you probably aren't truly compatible with.
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