Author Necromancer Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 In answer to your question; for the same (nonsensical) reason that guys think women have it easy in dating. Men have to make the approaches. So obviously women will have more options therefore easier dating. Maybe not all the men are interested in relationship but still easier. 1
Author Necromancer Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) No, women don't have a lot more options 'as a rule'. Unless the guys is a Male model otherwise the average women has allot more options than the average man. Edited November 25, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
aed Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I always thought: For allot of men is often difficult to get laid, ONS etc for most women it's easy to get laid,ONS. But (like most men know) when you find a woman who wants to sleep with you, its often easy to get a relationship (even if it is just FWB)out of it. I think it is more difficult for the averge women to get a man committed, after they had sex then visa versa. 1
GravityMan Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Most average men have to work like Ancient Egyptian slaves to get A DATE. I'm not talking about sex. Just a date. Does not compute. Most "average" guys have had some dates and even sex by the time they finish high school, and furthermore, many of them have had at least one girlfriend by that time. Most of them get additional experience throughout their early and mid 20s. And at no point did they have to "work like slaves" in order to accomplish those things. These guys usually behaved like normal civilized people with decent personalities, plus they had a sense of humor, had friends, liked to have fun occasionally, had decent self-esteem, and had goals and passions in life. Any guy who feels like they have to "work their ass off" just to get a date likely has deeper problems within himself, and it's advisable that they address those first. Plus, "working their ass off" may give off an air of desperation, which is nearly a universal turn-off for women. Getting dates should not be a difficult task for most people...men or women. It helps if you act casual and let things progress naturally, instead of forcing things too much. 1
ThaWholigan Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Does not compute. Most "average" guys have had some dates and even sex by the time they finish high school, and furthermore, many of them have had at least one girlfriend by that time. Most of them get additional experience throughout their early and mid 20s. And at no point did they have to "work like slaves" in order to accomplish those things. These guys usually behaved like normal civilized people with decent personalities, plus they had a sense of humor, had friends, liked to have fun occasionally, had decent self-esteem, and had goals and passions in life. Any guy who feels like they have to "work their ass off" just to get a date likely has deeper problems within himself, and it's advisable that they address those first. Plus, "working their ass off" may give off an air of desperation, which is nearly a universal turn-off for women. Getting dates should not be a difficult task for most people...men or women. It helps if you act casual and let things progress naturally, instead of forcing things too much. Precisely. At school, most of the guys bragged more than they f*cked, but by the time it was college, most people were getting laid but the few. "But they wouldn't tell you they were virgins" I could hear some cry......well, duh, of course they wouldn't. They didn't have to tell me anything - they had GFs, or girls who liked them at differing points - they were f*cking. With the exception of me and only a few other dudes, EVERY guy in my extended social circle was f*cking somebody. Dates & sex isn't that hard to come by for most people. The bitter/desperate/unlucky dudes that try to paint this as an "average guy" problem are the outliers and they don't know it - or they do but try to marry themselves onto the "normal dude" dichotomy to find comfort. 1
maybealone Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 This is conditioned on the assumption that dating is a one way street, i.e., it is initiated only by the man. Akin to your employment analogy, companies often have recruiters, right? Those who actively seek out viable candidates rather than sit and wait for resumes to come in...? The claim was that women just walk around outside and have random men asking them out. I'm stating that while I get approached often, it does not lead to the men asking me out. In other words, unless someone is hearing everything said in one of these approaches, they do not know whether or not the end result is a date. I do my share of approaching, and even my share of suggesting getting together. That was not the topic of my post, just the instances where men approach me yet do not ask for a date.
ascendotum Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Does not compute. Most "average" guys have had some dates and even sex by the time they finish high school, and furthermore, many of them have had at least one girlfriend by that time. Most of them get additional experience throughout their early and mid 20s. And at no point did they have to "work like slaves" in order to accomplish those things. These guys usually behaved like normal civilized people with decent personalities, plus they had a sense of humor, had friends, liked to have fun occasionally, had decent self-esteem, and had goals and passions in life. Any guy who feels like they have to "work their ass off" just to get a date likely has deeper problems within himself, and it's advisable that they address those first. Plus, "working their ass off" may give off an air of desperation, which is nearly a universal turn-off for women. Getting dates should not be a difficult task for most people...men or women. It helps if you act casual and let things progress naturally, instead of forcing things too much. I agree with you. Working like a slave is over the top analogy. Like you say, the majority of guys are as you describe above will have had some success with women by their early 20s...some one gf and some lots. I very much agree with the bolded. For sure there are guys out there who are not the most masculine and have low confidence and these guys will struggle even with no confidence girls With some of the posts for the 'hard luck harrys' on LS though some of the recommendations do have the element of work (if done just to get pussy)... go to night school too get better career prospects, get a 2nd job, become successful in business, learn pua/seduction techniques, do public speaking course or do acting class, take dance lessons, get more friends in your network, learn a musical instrument, doing volunteer work on the weekends, approach random females, take up a sport and take up some interesting hobbies especially those that interest women, lose any insecurities, travel more, read interesting/good literature, change your wardrobe to be more stylish & fashionable & get clothes made to fit, Pump iron or run/cycle run to lose the weight, etc. Don't get me wrong, all good stuff to make for a well rounded guy, but really advice that women don't have to worry about. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I'm sorry, but I really think this whole conversation is completely lame. People are individuals with feelings. If you are a man OR a woman who is not wanted, who is not socially connecting right, who's sexually frustrated or starved for attention and admiration, you are hurting. Even if you actually could, theoretically, go outside and spread your legs, or chase down a woman and voila! be having sex! if it's not what you want or what you can do, it doesn't mean anything. So, who cares if "women" or "men" have it easier in dating? If YOU are having problems in dating, I don't think you're going to find resolution for them by thinking about gender crap. 2
Tara247 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 What I see on here is a fair amount of whining by some men. If you don't thhink it's easy to get dates with women, don't let it make you bitter. Go make some changes in yourself where it will be easier for/on you. Just my opinion.
somedude81 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 It all comes down to this. Do you want to be desired? Or do you want be the one to do the desiring? Men desire women. Women get desired by men. I'm not saying one is easier or better than the other, it all comes down to preferences. But I think most people would prefer to be desired. A simpler analogy is being the job requiter or an applicant. Anybody who has tried to get a job recently knows how hard it can be.
Pyro Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 A simpler analogy is being the job requiter or an applicant. Anybody who has tried to get a job recently knows how hard it can be. But you don't give up. Instead you constantly make changes to your resume and look into improving your job interview skills. 3
somedude81 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 But you don't give up. Instead you constantly make changes to your resume and look into improving your job interview skills. Yup, you keep trying. That doesn't mean that it's not hard, if that is what you were hinting at.
Pyro Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Yup, you keep trying. That doesn't mean that it's not hard, if that is what you were hinting at. Nothing in life is easy. The rewards are worth the effort. 2
Necris Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) Dates & sex isn't that hard to come by for most people. The bitter/desperate/unlucky dudes that try to paint this as an "average guy" problem are the outliers and they don't know it - or they do but try to marry themselves onto the "normal dude" dichotomy to find comfort. For the average guy getting a date or girlfriend isn't all that difficult as it comes naturally, guys who are having trouble with dating I agree are the outliers. Even my own parents think something is wrong with someone whose in their twenties and hasn't had a single girlfriend or only been on a scant handful of dates. Edited November 25, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
mortensorchid Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 The grass is always greener, as they say. I for one don't think men have it easier. But I am of the old school thinking that the man should do the asking, and if marriage is going to take place then it has to be his decission as well. Men do not like to be pressured into doing something they don't want to, and I have seen a lot of guys who have allowed themselves just that. I think guys have a certain advantage that women do not, which is to make that choice when women do not though.
MrCastle Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Depends what you're basing it on. Relationships (finding them, forming them, maintaining them) are equally as hard for both sexes. If we're talking strictly physical, in terms of the ability to get dates or sex, then yeah, average to good looking women have a significant dating edge. Doesn't mean those women are happy though. They don't see sex the way we see it. If they had our mentality than yeah, they'd be happy about the ability to have easy sex, but the focus for most women is getting a relationship. Men hold the power in that regard because it's usually the girl who starts the "what are we?" talk and the man decides if he wants to enter a relationship with her. Both sexes hold the cards and use it to their advantage. How many sucker guys get pussy dangled in front of them and do all sorts of wild things for a girl who's only a friend, with the hope that "ahh, someday :)" How many women stay with a commitment phobe boyfriend or "fiance" for 5 years thinking "ahh, someday :)" 5
silvermercy Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 (edited) But women have no trouble to get in a relationship with a guy. Most women have relationships and get married with men. The only difference is. The woman doesn't have to work for it like the man does. Oh but they do! But not the way you'd think. Do you know how much time and effort a woman spends and obsesses over her appearance in her lifetime? Even the tiniest flaw is unacceptable in this society. I doubt men obsess like that as much as women do, or feel such huge pressure from media, fashion, newspapers, magazines, celebs. To the point of multiple plastic surgeries, boob enhancements, nose jobs, immaculate makeup, hair and clothes. Even becoming anorexic. If you were a woman for a day and felt this pressure, you'd praise your lucky stars you're a man. Edited November 25, 2012 by silvermercy
xxoo Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Though, women are usually the genders initiating the divorce, and couldn't be happier when they do. You rarely hear about the men approaching their wives saying, "I want a divorce". Yeah, they just cheat on the side I'm not saying all men cheat, or that women don't cheat. But when men do cheat, they are less likely to leave for their affair partner. Women are more likely to leave for the new guy. Hawaii, on the nose. From an evolutionary standpoint, women have more potential investment risk to get from sex then men do. Yes, I mean becoming pregnant. And this is potentially a burden on her, unless the plan was to start a family. Men though technically can choose to not have anything to do with it after he has sowed his seed, leaving behind all the emotions that come with it. So don't wonder why many women feel that men have it easier. I would think this is why women tend to be attracted to stable and successful men. It also explains why women are sexually attracted to fewer men. Sex carries more "risk" for us, so sexual attraction is a bit more complicated for us. A simpler analogy is being the job requiter or an applicant. Anybody who has tried to get a job recently knows how hard it can be. But we are applying for different positions. Men are applying for sex partner. Women are applying for relationship partner. Tough, either way! 1
xxoo Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Oh but they do! But not the way you'd think. Do you know how much time and effort a woman spends and obsesses over her appearance in her lifetime? Even the tiniest flaw is unacceptable in this society. I doubt men obsess like that as much as women do, or feel such huge pressure from media, fashion, newspapers, magazines, celebs. To the point of multiple plastic surgeries, boob enhancements, nose jobs, immaculate makeup, hair and clothes. Even becoming anorexic. If you were a woman for a day and felt this pressure, you'd praise your lucky stars you're a man. I think a lot of this is misdirected energy and money, and won't help a woman find a relationship. 1
phineas Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 woman do have it pretty bad. The one's looking to get wifed up that is. but it's because they can't tell the difference between ONS guy & RELATIONSHIP guy. Actually, they can tell the difference, they just choose to ignore it then say they couldn't tell the difference when it blows up in their face on the first date. literally, then he zips up & leaves. They keep accepting dates with guys whose dicks have traveled the equivalent distance of the Holland tunnel (round trip) then get pissed & upset the guy is only interested in sleeping with them. Well duh. Then when they hit their late 30's/early 40's they creep on all the decent guys they blew off/rejected/friendzoned ect. on facebook, see how successful & happy they are with their families & then ask themselves "gee, I wonder why we never got together". I honestly do feel sorry for a lot of women my age that are single/never married some with kids, some without & some with two kids from different fathers & both are dead-beat dads. 1
phineas Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I think a lot of this is misdirected energy and money, and won't help a woman find a relationship. Yep. I prefer woman who wear no make-up or eye shadow at most. She looks just as good waking up as she did going to bed. Who wants a woman whose face comes off on your pillowcases while you are going at it?
El Brujo Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Also, women have to worry about getting attacked, drugged, assaulted, etc. Men, for the most part don't. ^^^That.^^^ If you're one of those guys who doesn't have it in him to be the pursuer, then yes, dating will be tough for you. Otherwise, being a guy should be a breeze. Ehh, it's not so tough if you have some bargaining power. But you have to know when to ease up on the strike when women have had enough. (Provided, of course, they haven't started to go lesbian by then...) Women have the power to accept a guy or turn him down, but we guys have the power to decide whether women are worth pursuing.
Imported Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 woman do have it pretty bad. The one's looking to get wifed up that is. .......... I honestly do feel sorry for a lot of women my age that are single/never married some with kids, some without & some with two kids from different fathers & both are dead-beat dads. Aren't you your age single with kids? Just saying....
xxoo Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Yep. I prefer woman who wear no make-up or eye shadow at most. She looks just as good waking up as she did going to bed. Who wants a woman whose face comes off on your pillowcases while you are going at it? I'm not saying that women shouldn't wear make up, if it makes them feel comfortable and pretty. But obsession over appearance is not an attractive quality.
maybealone Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Because most women do end up in relationships and get married. Do you mean... with men? Because then most men do end up in relationships and get married too. And dates and sex likely preceded all that. If someone posted a topic in a reality where even the most average men got bombarded with job offers on a daily basis whereas only the most attractive and skilled women could say the same would you admonish female posters for discussing how men have an easier time finding a job? If the ones complaining were not sending out resumes and instead staying home and basing their complaints on things they hear or generalizations they make, then yes. Absolutely.
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