Phoebe Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 I've got some hard decisions coming up ahead. I've come to the realisation that I want to move back home (moved to US 7 years ago with my now ex-husband), I don't want to be here in 10 years or start a family here. There are two main reasons for this, I want to be closer to what's left of my family and the NHS. Right now I am without healthcare and for years it's been this nagging worry at the back of my head that I can't afford to get ill. The problem is that my american boyfriend and I have been together two years. In the past we have had problems with his alcohol use but the last two weeks he has cleaned himself up and the difference has been wonderful. I told him a couple of weeks ago that I wasn't going to be with a drunk person anymore and he chose to stop, but before I had this confrontation with him I was wondering what I would do if we ended up splitting up - and I realised I wanted to move home. My ideal scenerio would be that we move to England together but he's dragging his heels about even getting a passport to visit England. I don't want to give him another ultimatum (after he quit drinking), I also feel like I owe him because he financially supported me while I was in school this past year but I really don't want to live here anymore. What do you think would be the best way of talking about it to him?
FitChick Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 He's only stopped drinking for two weeks so it's very possible he will start back up again, especially knowing you want to move back, so will likely blame you. You don't need that crap. I say move back to the UK and let him clean up his own life. You aren't married so it's not your responsibility. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Two wweeks are too short of a time for an alcoholic to change. Sobriety is a battle and you're not fully cured until 2-3. He's most likely trying to change but drinking has always been a problem, it's so easy for him to fall off the wagon without medical help or a support group. I would reevaluate the relationship and see whether the past two years are enough for you to stay. You are not responsible for him.
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