confusedcoworker Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 This is a little long so please bear with me... Ever since I started working at my job a year and half ago, there was a guy there that works in the same company, but in another dept somewhat separated from my work. I always thought he was cute, but never gave it a second thought. Then, about four months ago, he started showing up everywhere. At first, I didn't even notice, a coworker I take breaks with noticed and mentioned that every time she was with me, he seemed to pop up out of nowhere. Then, one day, he passed through the cafeteria 8 times in a matter of 15 minutes for no reason, while I was the only one in there, staring at me the entire time. I also noticed that we would leave around the same time, but even though we were walking to our cars together he never tried to make conversation. It seemed like there were clear signs he was interested and we would exchange intense looks every time we would see each other, but still never talked to each other. Then, his dept hit its busy season and his schedule has been much busier for the past couple months. During this time, I haven't seen him as much, but we went from just exchanging looks to saying hi when passing in the hall. For most people, that's not a huge deal, but he is somewhat shy and doesn't say hi to most people he passes unless he's very close with them. A coworker who is friends with his good friend asked about him and was told that he just got back together with his ex-gf ("first love" kind of thing), but that she didn't think it was going to last long. Let me add that I think that by this time, if he didn't already, he knew that I am interested in him. One night, while out with coworkers, we went to a local vineyard. We never mentioned it to anyone else so it was pure coincidence, but he happened to show up with a girl and another couple. From the moment he got there, he stared right at me and continually passed through inside the vineyard (his group was sitting outside) staring. We waved to him and he waved back at one point, but other than that there was no conversation or anything. The following week, a coworker told me to make conversation with him about the vineyard to break the ice. I planned to ask him how he liked it. When I saw him in the hall, I said hi and, before I could ask him, he instantly responded with "Hey! how'd you like the vineyard?" I answered and asked him how he liked it, but, since we were passing in the hall, we didn't stop to have a conversation. Then, other than a few "hey, how are you?"s in the hall, I stopped seeing him. Last week, a friend who was in the cafeteria texted me telling me he was out there waiting for the FedEx man to come. Wanting to talk to him, I went out there. Immediately, he looked up and saw me, but left to use the restroom. I also left, but the second I walked back into the hall, he turned and stared as I walked towards him. He even yelled down the hall "Hey! How are you?" and he looked like he wanted to say something else, but didn't. So, I walked toward him and asked if he had been back to the vineyard. He answered and then began talking about the town he lived in. When I mentioned I lived in the same town, he seemed shocked and kept saying, "I didn't know you lived there!" (Strange since we've never been introduced or talked before...) Then he started asking a bunch of questions about me and my high school since we went to the same one and teachers we liked, etc. He transitioned to asking me where I go out in town. We were having a great conversation without ANY awkwardness at all! (It was like we knew each other forever even though we just started talking.) The conversation was so good he didn't even see the FedEx guy come and almost missed shipping out his package for work. Suddenly, he looked over and the FedEx guy was about to leave so he jumped up and said "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I've got to go!" Not wanting to wait there awkwardly, I went back to the booth with my friend in it and talked to her. Once he finished with the FedEx man, he walked back by and said, "It was nice talking to you!" Now, it has been a week and half and I have only passed him twice which is much less than normal. Each time hes said "Hey! How are you?", but nothing else since we are just passing in the hall where its not exactly easy to start up a real conversation. I'm dying to have another conversation with him and see where it goes (or where our other conversation would have gone if we hadn't been interrupted), but I'm not sure how to make it happen if I don't run into him again. Coworkers are telling me to go as far as emailing him or walking down to his dept and talking to him, but I feel that I have no reason to be in his dept since it's kind of out of the way. I also don't want to be too aggressive since he may have a gf. I don't feel comfortable emailing him since we were never introduced by name (so it would be weird that I even know his email) and, even though I know his name through a mutual friend, he may not know mine (and he never asked for my name during our conversation either). I know the whole situation seems a little odd. To be honest, it was. It just seemed like all of sudden, we both noticed each other and there was this insane chemistry. There's just something different between us that I've never felt with anyone else. I guess what I want to know is, have we made more of this than there is? Is he interested? If he has a gf and isn't interested, would he be staring or making conversation like he did? Finally, what should I do now...wait for the chance to talk to him face to face or try to email him? Please share your thoughts on this because I am growing more confused and frustrated the longer this goes on!
dasein Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Well if you want to be proactive, ask him to lunch. However he should have had well enough tips by now to approach if he is interested. If he is very shy, but interested, and you don't mind that sort of thing, it seems you are going to have to make this happen in a more demonstrative way than tracking each other around work. Good luck.
todreaminblue Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 If you know his email send him an invite to coffee tell him you enjoyed your talk and thought he might want to go for coffee later to continue your conversation......if he has a gf he will let you know....if he doesnt mention a gf and accepts your invite, ask him when you have coffee if he is in a relationship.....is that too obvious....lol....kamikaze..sledgehammer time...best wishes....deb
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 My only advice is never date a coworker. *walks out of thread*
Author confusedcoworker Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 Thanks for the advice everyone! I think I'm going to try and send him an email and see if he wants to have lunch. We'll see what happens...
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