Going back on POF dun dun dun!

[zebracolors]

So I am thinking of trying POF one more time.. I always say it will be the last time and then I do it again. I know that I am looking for a relationship and not just sex, I KNOW that I can have the self control to say no if I want to and I know I can avoid sex until I am in a relationship.

 

Part of me just doesn't want to bother with the whole OLD thing again, it just feels pathetic like "oh I met my SO on a dating website" ew... How would I tell me friends that I met my bf on a dating website? That is like beyond embarrassing, I am in college I should be meeting tons of guys! I'm not, but I should be. I feel like the only good thing about POF is I can go on dates A LOT which is always fun, and it is a confidence boost which is great, and I can choose who I want to talk to like if he meets my criteria or not. I don't know if I should make the profile or not?

 

Im not trying to discredit dating sites, to each their own. But I would suggest instead of wasting your emotional energy TRYING to meet 'relationship material', to instead just meet people. Just put yourself in situations where you can do this with no expectations, or pressure to find a match.

 

If you have not already, I recommend meet up.com because there is potential to find other people who have the same hobbies as you, who like to get together and have fun, and who are close to where you live.

 

You may find groups that will have "singles" as the theme, true however the idea is to meet others in person when you get together, to talk to people, make friends, and get into social circles, but without the pressure of finding a potential mate. And you can still talk to whoever you choose, but this may give you the chance to meet men face to face so you can get a better instinct of their intentions, versus what you want.

[FitChick]

OLD is a waste of time. When will people learn this?

 

I'll be sure to tell my brother that. He met his beautiful wife online.

[truth_seeker]

I'll be sure to tell my brother that. He met his beautiful wife online.

 

I do think OLD works if you're willing to put up with all the game-playing, jerks, and flakiness that comes with it.

 

If you got thick skin and are patient, yea, eventually you can meet someone. I'm not one of those people, so I agree with Oxy that, at least for me, it's a waste of time.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Im not trying to discredit dating sites, to each their own. But I would suggest instead of wasting your emotional energy TRYING to meet 'relationship material', to instead just meet people. Just put yourself in situations where you can do this with no expectations, or pressure to find a match.

 

If you have not already, I recommend meet up.com because there is potential to find other people who have the same hobbies as you, who like to get together and have fun, and who are close to where you live.

 

You may find groups that will have "singles" as the theme, true however the idea is to meet others in person when you get together, to talk to people, make friends, and get into social circles, but without the pressure of finding a potential mate. And you can still talk to whoever you choose, but this may give you the chance to meet men face to face so you can get a better instinct of their intentions, versus what you want.

I tried meetup but no one does fun things that I want to lol I should just stick to parties and bars I guess

[dasein]

OLD is just another dating tool, it saves time for men and women who just want to have some dates without spending tons of time and money out meeting people. It's very convenient for busy people. The people met there are probably no worse than strangers met out, and the profiles at least give you some hint of what the person may be like. Good luck OP, hope you get some fun dates.

[Tara247]

OLD is just another dating tool, it saves time for men and women who just want to have some dates without spending tons of time and money out meeting people. It's very convenient for busy people. The people met there are probably no worse than strangers met out, and the profiles at least give you some hint of what the person may be like. Good luck OP, hope you get some fun dates.

 

I would agree with this with the exception of POF. Like I said previously, too many scumbags and sharks circling in the waters. OP, you don't want to meet men in bars. If you ignore that piece of advice, at least you've been warned. Try some other meet-ups. If you go to church, try church single groups. You have to be careful there too. In this day and age, you really have to be careful everywhere and vigilant concerning who you choose to date.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I would agree with this with the exception of POF. Like I said previously, too many scumbags and sharks circling in the waters. OP, you don't want to meet men in bars. If you ignore that piece of advice, at least you've been warned. Try some other meet-ups. If you go to church, try church single groups. You have to be careful there too. In this day and age, you really have to be careful everywhere and vigilant concerning who you choose to date.

 

This is too hard! Why can't a good hot fun guy just find me and date me and be perfect like I want

[zebracolors]

This is too hard! Why can't a good hot fun guy just find me and date me and be perfect like I want

 

Because life usually never gives us exactly what we want, and sometimes not even what we need. Just don't exhaust yourself emotionally going on "dates" on which you'll be under some pressure to decide if the guy is potential relationship. And the ones that don't may leave you feeling like you wasted a perfectly good evening.

 

When you tried MeetUp, how proactive were you? Did you ever try to organize a meet up yourself? Granted Im in two meet up groups myself, and in one I have tried to organize gatherings but no one seemed interested. But I didn't give up the group, instead I started just going to meetups other people organized and the last one I went on, I had a blast. Meetup is one of those things that you get out of it, what you put into it.

[truth_seeker]

This is too hard! Why can't a good hot fun guy just find me and date me and be perfect like I want

 

This is too hard! Why can't a good hot fun girl just find me and date me and be perfect like I want

[phineas]

OLD is just another dating tool, it saves time for men and women who just want to have some dates without spending tons of time and money out meeting people. It's very convenient for busy people. The people met there are probably no worse than strangers met out, and the profiles at least give you some hint of what the person may be like. Good luck OP, hope you get some fun dates.

 

The thing about OLD for me is it puts me in contact with singles (well mostly singles ) that I would never have crossed paths with in my travels.

[babsie007]

I agree, you get what you pay for the and the quality of people on pof isn't great!! I have had a lot of success with online dating. But I think it's a bit of a numbers game. Met a lot of people where it didn't go anywhere and also a lot of people that were not my type at all... And also the ones that were only after one thing!

[CptObvious]

This is too hard! Why can't a good hot fun guy just find me and date me and be perfect like I want

 

Yeah!!! Because you're totally entitled to things that don't even exist.

[Pacman]

The only reason why women haven't found an amazing guy on POF, OLD or match is because I haven't set up a profile

 

[Drseussgrrl]

This is too hard! Why can't a good hot fun guy just find me and date me and be perfect like I want

 

 

 

When you figure it out let the rest of us know.

[Mme. Chaucer]

This is too hard! Why can't a good hot fun guy just find me and date me and be perfect like I want

 

When you post things like this … I can't help but be concerned about whether you are mature enough to even be dating. Maybe you should be going on "group dates" at this stage.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

When you post things like this … I can't help but be concerned about whether you are mature enough to even be dating. Maybe you should be going on "group dates" at this stage.

 

I mean I know that would never happen but I am saying I wish that I would just easily meet someone who I liked and who liked me and we didn't have all the drama and games about stuff. I know there is no perfect person out there obviously. I just wish I could be like my brother who always has girls around him but he has a gf and is a good boyfriend, or my friend who does nothing but has guys (and ones that she likes) always asking her out, or my other friend who met her bf sophomore year and now they will probably get married in the next 3 years. Why can't things just be easy and I just meet a guy who is totally attractive and in love with me and then marries me after 2 years of dating and a 1 year engagement and then we have a baby a year into our marriage? Why is it so damn complicated. I shouldn't have to go through all this crap, I am not meant to be one of those weirdo online daters. It's just terrible how my life has turned out.

[tigressA]

I mean I know that would never happen but I am saying I wish that I would just easily meet someone who I liked and who liked me and we didn't have all the drama and games about stuff. I know there is no perfect person out there obviously. I just wish I could be like my brother who always has girls around him but he has a gf and is a good boyfriend, or my friend who does nothing but has guys (and ones that she likes) always asking her out, or my other friend who met her bf sophomore year and now they will probably get married in the next 3 years. Why can't things just be easy and I just meet a guy who is totally attractive and in love with me and then marries me after 2 years of dating and a 1 year engagement and then we have a baby a year into our marriage? Why is it so damn complicated. I shouldn't have to go through all this crap, I am not meant to be one of those weirdo online daters. It's just terrible how my life has turned out.

 

Well, take a closer look at your brother and at your friend who 'does nothing' and has guys asking her out all the time. I remember you said in another section of the forum that your brother's a really talented football player. And what about your friend? What does she do? Does she have a full, well-rounded life, hobbies she takes an interest in? Is she confident, optimistic? They both, I'm sure, have a lot of other things going on besides obsessing over having a partner and thinking their life is bad or sad or depressing without one. That is what makes them attractive and makes people (read: other good, attractive people) want to be around them and ask them out.

 

Think about it, IB.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Well, take a closer look at your brother and at your friend who 'does nothing' and has guys asking her out all the time. I remember you said in another section of the forum that your brother's a really talented football player. And what about your friend? What does she do? Does she have a full, well-rounded life, hobbies she takes an interest in? Is she confident, optimistic? They both, I'm sure, have a lot of other things going on besides obsessing over having a partner and thinking their life is bad or sad or depressing without one. That is what makes them attractive and makes people (read: other good, attractive people) want to be around them and ask them out.

 

Think about it, IB.

 

Ok but I mean I have had to find other things to do also besides look for a guy.. Because it isn't working. I mean look at you, you online date but you have a balanced well rounded life (I assume, I don't know) if you have a balanced well rounded life then you shouldn't have to online date you know? It should just come easy. I online date and I am trying to be balanced and well rounded but there is nothing I care about doing... Everything is just kind of like "oh ok i'll do that" or it is something I had to do or was expected to do. I don't really have interests, I mean I do but nothing I could really share. I like music, but I would never go see a band alone, so if I can't get someone to go with me I would never go. Idk I mean my friend is well rounded and confident but I can be that too why am I not getting good hot guys who want to date!

[tigressA]

Ok but I mean I have had to find other things to do also besides look for a guy.. Because it isn't working. I mean look at you, you online date but you have a balanced well rounded life (I assume, I don't know) if you have a balanced well rounded life then you shouldn't have to online date you know? It should just come easy. I online date and I am trying to be balanced and well rounded but there is nothing I care about doing... Everything is just kind of like "oh ok i'll do that" or it is something I had to do or was expected to do. I don't really have interests, I mean I do but nothing I could really share. I like music, but I would never go see a band alone, so if I can't get someone to go with me I would never go. Idk I mean my friend is well rounded and confident but I can be that too why am I not getting good hot guys who want to date!

 

Yes, I do have a balanced life. I like my job, I have good friends, I have interests that I pursue and share with others, I'm confident and resilient. This doesn't get negated by doing online dating. OLD is just another way to find a good match. If you're not getting results through what you normally do, why not change it up? There are a lot of cool, attractive people to be found online who see and use OLD much like I do. I met not only my current boyfriend , but a few prior boyfriends through it.

 

Surely there's something you care about besides finding a boyfriend, getting married and having children. You go to school, right? What do you want to do with that? You really don't have any interests? Think about it, IB--what do you like, what do you do with friends? And why wouldn't you do stuff like see a band by yourself? Why not, if you like the band? Try going outside your comfort zone and answering these questions. I think if you spend some time getting to know yourself and what you like, cultivating yourself, and being truly comfortable with being alone, finding a guy will come much more easily to you.

[truth_seeker]

Idk I mean my friend is well rounded and confident but I can be that too why am I not getting good hot guys who want to date!

 

I have to ask: what do you look like?

[tigressA]

I have to ask: what do you look like?

 

She's a little doll, totally gorgeous. I've seen her pictures here. But you've got to have more to work with than that.

[truth_seeker]

Surely there's something you care about besides finding a boyfriend, getting married and having children. You go to school, right? What do you want to do with that? You really don't have any interests? Think about it, IB--what do you like, what do you do with friends? And why wouldn't you do stuff like see a band by yourself? Why not, if you like the band? Try going outside your comfort zone and answering these questions. I think if you spend some time getting to know yourself and what you like, cultivating yourself, and being truly comfortable with being alone, finding a guy will come much more easily to you.

 

I went on a date with a girl and she reminds me of the OP. The girl talked up marriage, kids and... that's it! I asked her about her interests, and she basically had none. All she wanted was to be someone's Mommy. Umm, yea, that's great, but is there any other reasons why you wake up in the morning? Any goals? Dreams? Passions? The girl had nothing to say. It was bad. Maybe she didn't like me and was closed off?

 

My point: work on yourself, be active, and don't be so fast to call every person on a dating site a "weirdo". You are so bitter and angry that men probably smell this from far away and want nothing to do with you.

[Marie0708]

I met a really cool guy on POf a few months ago that I really click with. Now, we aren't dating, but we are pretty good friends. I would say though, that I lucked out with him; most of the guys I've met on that site are not who they say they are...

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I went on a date with a girl and she reminds me of the OP. The girl talked up marriage, kids and... that's it! I asked her about her interests, and she basically had none. All she wanted was to be someone's Mommy. Umm, yea, that's great, but is there any other reasons why you wake up in the morning? Any goals? Dreams? Passions? The girl had nothing to say. It was bad. Maybe she didn't like me and was closed off?

 

My point: work on yourself, be active, and don't be so fast to call every person on a dating site a "weirdo". You are so bitter and angry that men probably smell this from far away and want nothing to do with you.

 

I just know my friends would totally look down on me for online dating, I was talking to a guy I met in okc and he went to my college and we hung out a lot and he came to the lib with me and my friend and when she asked how we met I couldn't bring myself to say online because I felt so embarrassed. I knew of I told her she would be like ew. My parents look down on it my brother looks down on it lol. There is more that I want than to be a mom I want a good career. I guess I know I need to be a well rounded person it's just hard. I'm trying but its so hard.

 

I probably just lucked out completely when I met my now ex and my luck has run out lol

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I have to ask: what do you look like?

 

I mean I'm average I guess. I can add you as a contact and you can see a few pics, but I don't think I'm super special I mean I guess I'm pretty. Lol not what tigressa said even though that's really sweet thanks.