She slept with someone else, but I think I still want her back

[Douglas_grey]

So my girlfriend of 8 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We were each others' first for a lot of things. Our relationship had always seemed strong and we were both very invested in each other. It had seemed we'd work through anything to make our relationship work, and a lot of people were always a little envious of what we had. She changed careers however, and thats when things started to change. She quit her job to become an apprentice at a tattoo shop. It was unpaid, so things became a little hard on us financially. I didnt mind so much because I wanted her to ba happy though. I supported her for a year and half and paid for other expenses that came up to help her. However, one night after a small argument on her staying the night at a friends house after a party, she told me we needed to talk. Basically, I understand we we're both young and she probably changed and needed to try new things. At times I feel like i'm over her, but I'm not. I found out she had slept with someone at a party. She blogged about it for everyone to see. I got the feeling I had no idea who this person was at this point. But a part of me wants her to come back. I realize the obvious would be to move on and find someone more worthy...But I've always wondered if she needed something like this. As much as it hurts, I feel like I need to let her live life, because I was never totally confident she was content with spending the rest of her life with me, regardless of what she said. Is it a bad idea to want that type of person back? I secretly want her to come back and admit that she was wrong in what she did and that she really wants to try and make it work again. I know we'd have to start from scratch again but I really do feel like I've assessed this situation with a clear head. After all we've been through and shared, I wonder if she will indeed try and come back to me and try and fix things. I'm not sure how often things like this happen, but Id love to hear some thoughts on how likely that idea is. Many of my friends say that she'll be back, but I'll have to decide when that time comes whether or not I'll even want her back. I've given it a lot of thought, I think I would be willing to start from scratch again with this person. Sometimes the grass isnt greener on the other side. But thats something she'll have to decide for herself.

[Mcnulty]

You wouldn't be starting from scratch though, the saying is, " the needle and the damage done"....the damage has been done, she's disrespected you and even advertized the fact. Have some self respect and run for it.

 

Soiled goods, your sub conscious would never get over it and as much as you'd like to kid yourself, you'd not ever trust her again.

[ReadMyThread]

You wouldn't be starting from scratch though, the saying is, " the needle and the damage done"....the damage has been done, she's disrespected you and even advertized the fact. Have some self respect and run for it.

 

Soiled goods, your sub conscious would never get over it and as much as you'd like to kid yourself, you'd not ever trust her again.

 

I think the trust could be gained back BUT ONLY if there were ground rules to be followed because of what she did until its fully back. It would pretty much be impossible though lol. Take it from me. I got back with me ex and the trust was demolished. She would tell me she is laying in bed and I would drive past her house just to see if we was there. Lol. Tough situation your in man. Good luck.

[Mcnulty]

Readmythread - contradictory.

 

I'm gonna stick my neck out here and say trust can never be rebuilt once a loved one has cheated.

[ReadMyThread]

Readmythread - contradictory.

 

I'm gonna stick my neck out here and say trust can never be rebuilt once a loved one has cheated.

 

Who knows. It could be or it couldn't. I'd say it would depend on the person and their ages and their situation.

 

My sister cheated on her boyfriend (brother in law now) when they were young. They have been together for 9 years now and got married 1 year ago and had 2 kids. They FULLY trust each other today. I think it could happen BUT it would take MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR effort and patience. I don't know. I don't think I could do it lol but they did. Chances of gaining trust back is like .1% lol. Most likely Impossible.