ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Actually you can. It's a biological response, dopamine and adrenaline. Well I don't think it is a legitimate love that will keep you together for 50 or more years.
Divasu Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Well I don't think it is a legitimate love that will keep you together for 50 or more years. Biologically you are correct. Eventually, those chemicals wear off. What sustains the relationship has little to do with those "mood altering" chemicals. Ps. and don't roll your eyes at me Missy poo! ,
Drseussgrrl Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I hope this is the real deal for you. I had a very similar experience with someone I met years ago. From the moment we met it was just like BAM. Everything fit, was awesome, we had found "the one". I mean I was head over heels within 2 weeks. He was hot, successful, educated, smart, funny, amazing in the sack, made me laugh, incredibly romantic - you name it. He "needed space" 2 months later and did the slow fadeout. Our pace was just too much to sustain over any extended period of time. I'm also witnessing this with my roommate and her boyfriend. In the beginning of their relationship it was much like what you are experiencing. All of it. Now, they bicker all the time. They are passive aggressive with one another. There is drama up the wazoo. It's actually REALLY annoying to be around, and not inspiring at all. I guess what I'm saying is, this could really go either way for you. I don't want to rain on your parade - but from my experience things that start out like this aren't sustainable over a long period of time, when you start facing the "real" person in front of you, not just the fantasy they embody for you. A lot of times when something feels like it's almost too good to be true, it typically is. Good luck. 2
ThaWholigan Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Well I don't think it is a legitimate love that will keep you together for 50 or more years. You don't know that.
JamesM Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Well I don't think it is a legitimate love that will keep you together for 50 or more years. True love grows and grows as we get to know each other. The love that I have for my wife now is much different than the love I had when we met. Then I was in love with her as I knew her. Now I am in love with her as I know her AND because of the many memories we have created. Then I loved her for her beauty and what I knew of her personality. Now I love her for her beauty AND her personality as I know it thus far. "Legitimate love" cannot be known by ANYONE until he or she has gotten to know a person for a length of time. HOWEVER, many of us had a feeling that the love we had when we met was a love that could endure and grow. Love is so much more than a feeling. BUT we can feel as if a certain person is right for us soon after we meet. I know I did and I still do...even after 22 plus years. 3
Neith Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 (edited) I wanted to let people here in on my happiness. They can be happy, they can be concerned, they can be condescending, they can be whatever. That's on them. I think that's the point. The people who have cared about you and supported you just want you to be careful. That's all I'd say... just be careful but still enjoy the feelings you're having! All the best =] Edited November 28, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed comment 1
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 True love grows and grows as we get to know each other. The love that I have for my wife now is much different than the love I had when we met. Then I was in love with her as I knew her. Now I am in love with her as I know her AND because of the many memories we have created. Then I loved her for her beauty and what I knew of her personality. Now I love her for her beauty AND her personality as I know it thus far. "Legitimate love" cannot be known by ANYONE until he or she has gotten to know a person for a length of time. HOWEVER, many of us had a feeling that the love we had when we met was a love that could endure and grow. Love is so much more than a feeling. BUT we can feel as if a certain person is right for us soon after we meet. I know I did and I still do...even after 22 plus years. I understand what you're saying... I get it... The point is its been like 10 days of talking on the phone and skyping and a few sex days that's not love...
Divasu Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I understand what you're saying... I get it... The point is its been like 10 days of talking on the phone and skyping and a few sex days that's not love... I think it was 11 days. 1
Treasa Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Eh, the OP is an adult, and she's intelligent. Even if this crashes and burns, I think she'll be ok. She has a lot of support here and clearly has no problem attracting men. As long as you can handle it if it doesn't work out, and it doesn't hurt anyone, I say have fun with it. 1
KatZee Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I've said much the same at past points in my life, IB. I was never much of a romantic myself, but turns out I just had to meet someone to bring it out of me. Trust me...when this happens for you, you won't think anything is overkill. So I've been watching this thread and this is the post where I've felt compelled to comment. My most previous ex brought this out in me. Nothing was overkill. It was "lust at first sight" I literally heard the words in my head, "He's it." I had never met this guy before, I didn't know him from a hole in the wall. This cemented the idea that love at first sight was real and I dove in head first. This is where the BUT comes in. It turned out to be a complete farce. He is good looking, charming, attentive, everything I could have ever dreamed or imagined, he was it. I was in heaven. How the hell did I get so lucky? I too need to say, just be aware. You've known him not even a month. I know you think you feel love and all these things, it's merely lust. It's your biological makeup acknowledging that his biological makeup is great for reproducing. THAT'S IT. Keep your eyes and ears open, don't make excuses for things that may (or may not pop up) in the future. Be wary about these guys who are just "this good." The smooth talkers, the ones that butter you up with all of this. I am not saying he's a phony and I do hope it works out for you, but some of these guys are just THAT good, such as my ex. They do all this, show you all that, be this person and one day BAM, the rug comes out from under you and you have no idea who the hell the person you're looking at is. But if you're happy for right now that's all that matters. 4
melodymatters Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Some guys are just...love puppies. I don't know how else to put it and I don't mean it condescendingly in that dogs can be the most loyal and loving creatures on earth IMO. I go for the shy guys, the guys who go years between GF's, the guys who usually I DO need to make the first flirtatious move. THESE GUYS ARE THE HIDDEN TREASURE ! Some guys just want a best friend, a good woman to love them, talk to them , support them through the ups and downs, sex 'em up of course and they really will have NO interest in going elsewhere. They also are the ones who can't think of enough sweet, romantic things to do for you, and will make you the center of their world. Maybe some of you want to call them p*ssies, I call them the strong, silent and true blue types ! 2
AMusing Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 TigressA, I wish you the best and hope this guy is everything you've hoped he would be. But if he is "the one," what does slowing down--even just a little bit--hurt? I don't think anyone here is telling you not to be excited; it's great you've found someone you can be so excited about! Just take time getting to know him, letting him know you, and enjoy the magic of watching love unfold slowly before you. After all, what do a few months of taking it slow matter, if you end up spending your life with this guy? And if he's not a great match, it'll be much easier to see so more quickly if you don't view him ENTIRELY through rose-colored glasses. This is a really fun time in a relationship; why rush through it? 1
threebyfate Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 tigress, you're not emotionally fragile in that you appear to get over guys pretty quickly. With this in mind, what's the worst case scenario in going for it? OH NO, I had some phenomenal sex!!!??!!!@!! 4
Author tigressA Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 tigress, you're not emotionally fragile in that you appear to get over guys pretty quickly. With this in mind, what's the worst case scenario in going for it? OH NO, I had some phenomenal sex!!!??!!!@!! Yeah, it's the Aries in me, naturally resilient. I have New Year's plans. We were Skyping again and he asked me what I was doing. I said I had to work NYE and he said he does too, but he can't imagine spending it without me. So he'll be coming to me after work that day so we can ring in the new year together. 1
threebyfate Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Yeah, it's the Aries in me, naturally resilient. I have New Year's plans. We were Skyping again and he asked me what I was doing. I said I had to work NYE and he said he does too, but he can't imagine spending it without me. So he'll be coming to me after work that day so we can ring in the new year together. That just sparks some very warm memories. NYE for the absolute win!
Author tigressA Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 That just sparks some very warm memories. NYE for the absolute win! This will certainly be a memorable one for me. TBF did you see my album? 1
threebyfate Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 This will certainly be a memorable one for me. TBF did you see my album? Just took a peek. Notice how your last post drew a like for pointing me to it? Gorgeous couple! 1
Author tigressA Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 Just took a peek. Notice how your last post drew a like for pointing me to it? Gorgeous couple! I know, right? Thanks TBF! I just made the album public for a little while in case anyone who isn't already in my contacts is curious. And that puts a cap on the details! 3
BetheButterfly Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 True love grows and grows as we get to know each other. The love that I have for my wife now is much different than the love I had when we met. Then I was in love with her as I knew her. Now I am in love with her as I know her AND because of the many memories we have created. Then I loved her for her beauty and what I knew of her personality. Now I love her for her beauty AND her personality as I know it thus far. "Legitimate love" cannot be known by ANYONE until he or she has gotten to know a person for a length of time. HOWEVER, many of us had a feeling that the love we had when we met was a love that could endure and grow. Love is so much more than a feeling. BUT we can feel as if a certain person is right for us soon after we meet. I know I did and I still do...even after 22 plus years. So beautiful and so true!!! :bunny: Your post reminds me of a lovely song I listened to for the first time yesterday: 2
Author tigressA Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 I think I missed it. It should still be open! Try it again?
Janesays Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 It should still be open! Try it again? Argh. I don't know what I'm doing. Where am I supposed to go?
Author tigressA Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 Argh. I don't know what I'm doing. Where am I supposed to go? Click on my username, drop-down menu "View public profile". Album is in the bottom right corner.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Here you go Jane, just in case you're having trouble seeing it...I think it's her best shot... TigressA 2
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