It Happened.

[Star Gazer]

Just a little adorableness update.

 

We had a Skype convo earlier, first time in days we'd had even a voice conversation; he was rather disconnected over the holiday due to his location (we kept in contact via occasional text when he could get service).

 

So, you met him 9 days ago and you've already gone days without having a voice conversation, and yet you're...in love?

 

You know I support you, and I am not trying to rain on your parade at all. I'm just fearful that you're setting yourself up for a big fall with such huge feelings already.

[tigressA]

Yes. I am in love.

 

If I am setting myself up for a fall, I will harbor feelings of sadness and disappointment for a time when it comes. It doesn't matter when--sooner, later, makes no difference. This is the risk that is run when one enters a relationship.

 

For the first time, I am thoroughly enjoying a relationship for everything it is for as long as it is meant to be. It's a notable achievement for me, and no matter what happens I will always have that.

[Minka333]

That's the spirit!

 

The best part about falling in love is the journey. The experiences, memories and whatever lessons one will learn from it.

 

When you love with an open mind and heart, you are open to everything and anything that comes with it.

 

You won't regret whatever the outcome is because you took the risk and you did it wholeheartedly.

 

Ten days or not doesn't matter. At least you became very happy at that moment...

 

...and that's what matters for now.

[mitchell]

I'm always pulling for Tigress!!

 

Good luck with the romance and keep us posted.

[Cutiepie1976]

Congratulations on meeting someone special. Life and love are about being open and taking risks to find happiness and fulfillment. Sometimes you just know! It's been that way for me.

 

I wish you well. Hope it's a wonderful experience!

[kaylan]

So, you met him 9 days ago and you've already gone days without having a voice conversation, and yet you're...in love?

 

You know I support you, and I am not trying to rain on your parade at all. I'm just fearful that you're setting yourself up for a big fall with such huge feelings already.

This. I have a strange feeling that the distance coupled with the breaks in talking may have this guy stray. Ive seen it happen before. Be careful OP.

Yes. I am in love.

 

If I am setting myself up for a fall, I will harbor feelings of sadness and disappointment for a time when it comes. It doesn't matter when--sooner, later, makes no difference. This is the risk that is run when one enters a relationship.

 

For the first time, I am thoroughly enjoying a relationship for everything it is for as long as it is meant to be. It's a notable achievement for me, and no matter what happens I will always have that.

 

No offense OP...but with as wishy washy you have been in the past with men, dating, and love...Im inclined to believe you are merely in lust with this man and in honeymoon phase.

 

Ive been where you are, and as great as things felt, I knew it wasnt love just yet. How can you love someone you know little about? Be realistic and cautious here.

Edited November 26, 2012 by kaylan

[Ruby Slippers]

Despite my intense fear, I had a strong sense that he was worth fully, authentically opening up to, and I was richly rewarded.

Bravo!

 

I agree that since you hardly know him, you're most likely projecting a lot of your own hopes and excitement on him - but that's OK. Because I also think that you're strong and self-reliant enough to take care of yourself, come what may.

 

Sure, you're moving fast, but even the cynics here know that passion, lust, excitement, and love are the stuff that makes life worth living. This is the good stuff!

[Woggle]

So, you met him 9 days ago and you've already gone days without having a voice conversation, and yet you're...in love?

 

You know I support you, and I am not trying to rain on your parade at all. I'm just fearful that you're setting yourself up for a big fall with such huge feelings already.

 

I agree. I am not trying to be a downer but don't fully count on those instant butterflies especially with the OP's history of getting bored in relationships which even she admits to. Enjoy it but go in with both eyes open.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Fear of heartbreak is overrated.

 

Sure it doesn't feel good, but it passes....

 

I would much rather live a life of high highs and low lows, than being overly cautions and never truly experiencing anything.

 

Go T!

[JamesM]

Yes. I am in love.

 

If I am setting myself up for a fall, I will harbor feelings of sadness and disappointment for a time when it comes. It doesn't matter when--sooner, later, makes no difference. This is the risk that is run when one enters a relationship.

 

For the first time, I am thoroughly enjoying a relationship for everything it is for as long as it is meant to be. It's a notable achievement for me, and no matter what happens I will always have that.

 

Congratulations to you! And I do believe that we can see someone and just know. It happened to me. Now we have been married for more than two decades.

 

Enjoy the moment and leave the future to be what it will be. And one word of caution (although you are a big girl....not in size, if I remember the pics I saw! ), keep your eyes wide open and don't be too trusting until the trust is earned.

 

Happy for you...and wish you the best. It doesn't matter so much of what our history is. When we meet "the one," then the past falls away.

[Forever Learning]

I just found your thread and am enjoying it. So what's the latest update on your fella?

 

 

I'm glad you are having this fun experience in life.

[Divasu]

The reality I see is someone who VERY recently, suffered a life altering trauma and was contemplating taking matters into ones' hands to eliminate that suffering. Two weeks later, now it is all rainbows and unicorns.

 

I'm all for believing in there being a strong connection between two people quickly, and /or shortly thereafter, but I also believe it is moreso rare versus it occurring with every tom dick and hairy you meet...Sometimes people fall in love with the idea of love more so than anything else. Having said that enjoy the moment for what it is and hopefully what will blossom from it is something deep, spiritual and long lasting.

[Quest4_TheLost]

I use to use a diffrent name back in 09 but read your threads so feel compelled to post.. Love is all about risks!!!! I don't care how fast or slow you fall into it how long you've known eachother ect. At any moment it could disapear for whatever reason.

 

When it feels right you go with it!! I'm very happy for you and wish you the best!

[BetheButterfly]

Congratulations to you! And I do believe that we can see someone and just know. It happened to me. Now we have been married for more than two decades.

 

Enjoy the moment and leave the future to be what it will be. And one word of caution (although you are a big girl....not in size, if I remember the pics I saw! ), keep your eyes wide open and don't be too trusting until the trust is earned.

 

Happy for you...and wish you the best. It doesn't matter so much of what our history is. When we meet "the one," then the past falls away.

 

Agreed

[Anela]

The reality I see is someone who VERY recently, suffered a life altering trauma and was contemplating taking matters into ones' hands to eliminate that suffering. Two weeks later, now it is all rainbows and unicorns.

 

I'm all for believing in there being a strong connection between two people quickly, and /or shortly thereafter, but I also believe it is moreso rare versus it occurring with every tom dick and hairy you meet...Sometimes people fall in love with the idea of love more so than anything else. Having said that enjoy the moment for what it is and hopefully what will blossom from it is something deep, spiritual and long lasting.

 

I was thinking about this, too, BUT I hope it's real and works out for you. I would love to be feeling this happy right now, so I'm glad that you are.

[Ariadne]

Sunday, Nov. 12, was when we 'met'.

Friday, Nov. 16..I had arrived.

I was his before we left the station Friday

Sunday night, he was mine.

 

I am in love.

 

Awww.. Congratulations finding love T! It sure isn´t easy to find.

 

And I agree with the sentiments:

 

When it feels right you go with it!! I'm very happy for you and wish you the best!

 

It's not the quantity that matters, it's the quality.

 

How beautiful.

 

The overall feel of you post did make me smile and think "Wow! if it feels so meant to be and you're on cloud 9 - that's awesome!"

 

It's beautiful..it's as if i could feel your emotions jump out of the page.

Just go with the flow and enjoy this very wonderful feeling...life will never be the same again...

 

Every great love story starts with falling in love.

I hope it continues to be magical

[Ninjainpajamas]

::feel good crowd has exited the room::

 

::Ninja has entered::

 

I've noticed some similarities between TigressA and RubySlippers in terms of how they deal with "romance".

 

I'm going to go way out on a limb here do something that could make me look a bit retarded, because I don't even track down your posts or even recall every post you make or keep track of the history, I tend to confuse you two however the most, because you remind me of each other but seem different on the surface, here's how I perceive both of you in differences and similarities...this may be crazy but I'm challenging myself here...

 

TigressA you seem to have chased many different types and qualities of guys, men you are so-so into, otherwise you just want to claim and conquer...kind of like a misguided missile that is constantly changing targets. Men come in and out of your life and you make the call on that for the most part.

 

Sometimes you care, sometimes you don't, sometimes you're just horny. You seem more open-minded and unpredictable, more interested in the artsy fartsy or more rebellious type as you are attracted to things that are different or stand out I would guess.

 

A bit on the wild side or reckless in the romantic regard, yet may deal with some abandonment, insecurity issues which I think you hide under an exterior of rebellion...you have an ability to deflect emotions and closeness, hold a high wall up.

 

RubySlippers seems a bit more on the conservative side, more academic and career oriented and relates her individual more closely to that. Values are more traditional to Americana. She's a working professional who's independent, ambitious yet feels a bit out of her comfort zone with the kind of men she dates or is interested, feeling a bit insecure and that they are out of her league.

 

Her weakness is likely in the nature of forming relationship, a desire to be in control of her life and her emotions, and has a strong desire to find a man who is more conservative and matches the same traditional values that she seeks. She's less out of the box, open-minded in terms of trying new things but ultimately seeks a certain desire of what she has in her mind for a man and she will fight valiantly to solidify that relationship as she would likely rather be in a committed relationship/marriage.

 

.............

 

No where you are similar...

 

Initially with relationships where you find men that trigger a response or reaction of intense chemistry or physical attraction, you both will dive in without much hesitation....fulfilling that desire and engulf yourself in an emotional experience because that is what you both strongly desire.

 

You are both more reckless in terms of romance "when it feels right" and maybe even sometimes when it doesn't, and feel the risk is worth the potential reward and there is no need to hold back, investing all of your emotion and to experience the sensation and get lost in the infatuation process without concerning yourself with any meager rules or guidelines that may pretend to "contain" what love is truly about...which for both you is typically a whole consuming process that requires no affirmation. Even though you are both rational and intelligent, just not very practical I guess you could say...you love the mystery too much to want to understand it.

 

You both dig into to this experience on a level wholeheartedly, yet with reservation and cautiousness due to experience past. And this is when the "relationship" really starts to being with the both of you, because now your own desire to control the relationship and situation for your own security and infuse a bonding as to not have to "let go" of this experience. You both are determined to break through to the depths as far as possible to solidify your emotional place with these men...and that I may think a lot of women do.

 

Eventually you start to hit some very rough patches because you're starting to notice and realize the differences but definitely aren't willing to give up and work through them both. You may both start to pull away or detach at some point during this process just in case, but like a boxer between bells you are merely resting before you go back into another round.

 

I see you both as possible adrenaline junkies with love , but ultimately looking for something permanent and long-lasting, but I'm concerned with the strategy and the way you go about your problems with these relationships, and wonder if you realize your own issues in the process as I think you are both women who can sabotage relationships and cause problems just to see if these men will stick around among other things, you test them...it's hard to see through the thick cloud smokescreen of a woman's words when she is in the throws of a new romance, most of the lovey dovey stuff I ignore because that doesn't matter for understanding anything but I'm glad you both are expressive about your love lives.

 

Anyway that's my wannabe semi-psychic read of both of you, I'm not really going off any particular information other than what my poor memory servers (which I can assure you is horrible), I didn't or haven't ever researched you both...when I see posts I recall what I can remember if anything. What sticks with me and how I give my advice though isn't just based on what people say but I see words between the words, I get a feeling or impression of the situation and what is happening and speak out of that, so everything I said above was out of feeling not so much research or remembering anything in specific.

 

You can now proceed to tell me how crazy and wrong I am That was very much a shot in the dark and I want to test my limits of understanding.

[LittlePrince]

I've been posting here since May 2009, so a good number of people here have an understanding of my history. Some of you think I'm pretty cool. Others think I'm a train wreck. I've been very open here regarding my romantic exploits--the good, the bad, the ugly.

 

I thought of keeping this close to the vest, but I realized it would go against the established grain. I want people here who know me, who have helped me, who have become my friends, to know how happy and content I am. So here goes:

 

Sunday, Nov. 12, was when we 'met'. I was on OKC and spotted a match. Went to his profile and felt a certain way upon having read it. I grumbled over the distance between us (almost 100 miles) but began crafting a missive. While drafting it I got one from him. We chatted and exchanged numbers that night. Two days of texting, and then Wednesday night we had a phone conversation that turned into an all-nighter, with plans for me to spend that weekend with him. He had offered to come to me but I wanted to see his city again.

 

Friday, Nov. 16, I had stepped off the escalator in the train station, and I wandered a bit after letting him know I had arrived. At 7:30 I turned around at the sound of his voice. His smile lit up his eyes and his arms were open as he came toward me. I stepped into them and he spun me around. When we were at the exit, he paused and kissed me, and I was his. Nothing else mattered.

 

The weekend was full of romance and revelation. Despite my intense fear, I had a strong sense that he was worth fully, authentically opening up to, and I was richly rewarded. I told him of my fear of loss of control, wanting to really fall in love but being afraid of it, and that I already liked him too much 'for my own good'. I was his before we left the station Friday night, and when we parted ways Sunday night, he was mine.

 

We talk about the future. We don't know what it will bring. But we both know we want to be together--and so we shall be, for as long as it is meant.

 

Since we met, I have been filled with a continuous rush of exhilaration and a strong sense of peace and calm. For the first time, I have fully entrusted someone with my heart, and I've got to say--it's an incredible feeling.

So this was a tuesday for you. I'd rather hear this story from someone who has never experienced anything close to this instead of Miss We-Lost-Track-of-How-Many-Bites-at-the-Apple-She-Had.

[BetheButterfly]

So this was a tuesday for you. I'd rather hear this story from someone who has never experienced anything close to this instead of Miss We-Lost-Track-of-How-Many-Bites-at-the-Apple-She-Had.

 

Leave her alone. Falling in love is a beautiful thing and if you don't want to rejoice with her, why not just concentrate on your own life and let her be happy in hers, hmm?

[LittlePrince]

Leave her alone. Falling in love is a beautiful thing and if you don't want to rejoice with her, why not just concentrate on your own life and let her be happy in hers, hmm?

But her happiness is always only momentary.

[BetheButterfly]

But her happiness is always only momentary.

 

Happiness in a long-term relationship takes work, compromise, and selfless love. Hopefully this time, if both of them want, this is the beginning of a lasting happiness that endures the tests of time and the trials relationships can endure.

 

Sorry for snapping at you. Thanks for not snapping back at me.

[JamesM]

The one thing about not knowing the future is enjoying today.

 

We can start predicting based on the past, and we may be right. Or it could be that we simply demotivate the person, so that she no longer enjoys today and assumes that once again this relationship will be a failure.

 

Assuming that this relationship will be like the rest may simply cause it to be like the rest.

 

And all relationships are a risk. None are guaranteed...no matter how deeply we feel the love is. Even if TigressA is completely correct in how she feels, she cannot control how he feels. This does not mean that she will not have doubts. It does not mean that she can no longer write another "It Happened" thread.

 

When I said that I met my wife and knew she would be my wife, that did not mean all was a bed of roses. (In fact, we broke up after we were engaged). Nor has it meant that we have lived happily ever after. Nor does it mean that we will never divorce. After more than 20 years, I would never say never. However, I can say that to this day, with all my heart, that feeling I had is still there. No matter what the future holds, she has been the one true love of my life.

 

If I had listened to some posters on here during my dating days, then I probably quit before I even got started. Analyzing a person and then deciding for them what their future holds is not only insulting to the person but downright discouraging. Of course, your predictions may be right. Of course, the future could be less bright and hopeful than TigressA wishes for...or any of us. But if you are wrong or I am wrong, we can simply say, oh well. TigressA lives this life and doesn't need the naysayers to tell her what her past is, nor tell her what her fears are for this relationship.

 

For all those who want to say, "Here we go again," feel justified in your opinion. No one knows what TigressA's future will be. However, I know with all my heart that it is entirely possible that she did meet her one true love despite the many guys she has dated in the past. I also know that it takes two to make a long term relationship.

 

Today is what we have, and it should be enjoyed. As friends, we should simply encourage and support TigressA in her new love, and be there for her in the future...no matter what it may hold.

 

Thank you for reading this...now do the right thing.

[Els]

So glad you've found someone whom you can connect with in that manner, TA. I think that some people here tend to put too much focus on searching for dealbreakers, analyzing deeply whether a relationship is right for you, etc, right at the start. IMO, the beginning of a relationship, that gorgeous honeymoon stage where you're just beginning to discover each other and loving every moment of being together... is supposed to be fun! Bask in it, enjoy it, and just live the moment, is my advice. If it isn't meant to be, you'll find out in time. And that's perfectly okay. You're young and life is about living and enjoying it.

[Ruby Slippers]

You can now proceed to tell me how crazy and wrong I am That was very much a shot in the dark and I want to test my limits of understanding.

That was an illuminating read with my morning coffee

 

Yes, I think you have a limited LS view of both of us, but you're not all wrong. And it's flattering for my romantic style to be found worthy of deep analysis by LS's resident romantic realist/wet blanket!

 

tigress and I may be foolhardy romantics and lovers - but we sure ain't boring!

[melodymatters]

Hey, NP can group me in with all of y'all, except instead of finding problems I marry the dudes

 

One died tragically after 11 very happy months and I have now been BLISSFULLY married for over a year to F ( after a 7 week courtship in which he moved in after our first date) and just this morning, half asleep, when he wrapped his arms around me, I thought to myself " It doesn't matter where in the world I am as long as I have this mans arms around me".

 

We seldom argue and probably tell each other how much we love each other 20 times a day, actions AND words.(That's us in my avatar)

 

So, go for it Tigressa !!!!!!!!