ReadMyThread Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 SOMEONE PLEASE help me! Tell me what I need to hear PLEASE!!! So we dated for 9 months. Both fell in love. I caught her hanging out with another guy behind my back and agreed to stay with her because he was "just a friend". A week after that she left me for him on our 9 month aniversary. 2 months later she contacted me saying she was sorry and that she missed me. She said she wanted me back but is scared she would say or do something that would hurt me again. We agreed to talk about "us" getting back together and met up in person. We met up and we talked about getting back together. I told her that she hurt me really bad and that it can't happen again and she said it never would as she was crying. She said she knows what she wants and it's me. I then asked about her and him now. She said they were together for one month and it ended. She said they hate each other. She said she doesn't talk to him anymore and she said she made a big mistake. She said she cries 5 nights a week because she pushed the best thing that has ever happened to her out of her life for someone who doesn't even like her. We got back together and she was a whole different person. We agreed we would go back to the way we were like speding everyday together and texting all day back and forth but that was for sure not the case. She left me AGAIN a week later after we got together again. She said, "this was honestly a mistake. It isn't the same as it use to be. I dont want to lead you on and hurt you even more. I'm not worth it. Please don't hurt yourself over this. I love you.". I never responded. Deleted her number. Blocked her on Facebook. Did all the things I should of the first time. I regretted not saying anything after she left me the second time but now I don't now that I seen what I seen last night. She even tried to call me 2 hours after texting me breaking up but I didn't answer. What was left to hear right? It was over. I wasnt going to talk to her and never will now. THE PROOF! It all makes sense now and heres why... During these 2 months as we were broken up and she was with him. She got caught sneeking out of her house to go be with him one night and her dad flipped. He is 19 and she is 17. It's illegal for them to be together. Her dad took away her car and her phone and her dad called HIS dad and HIS dad kicked him out because he said he didn't want a pedi vial living in his house. It all makes sense. They couldnt be together because there parents wouldnt let them. Their ages. They pyshically couldnt talk or see eachrher anymore because of their parents. When we had that talk where she was saying she made a big mistake and wanted to be with me again I remember her saying she doesn't have her phone and can't get it back until she shows her dad the texts messages that they have been exchanging. As we were together for the second time she was working on getting her phone back and eventually did. Now looking back I bet she probably started texting him again the second she got her phone back while being with me. I remember asking her how it feels to have her phone back and she said AMAZING. Yeah because she was texting him again. Now also looking back when we were together the second time I could tell she was still hung up over him. They are still in the honeymoon phase or probably in love who knows. She would bring up him up in some conversations as we agreed we wouldn't bring the past. She would bring up stuff that I KNOW she got from him. For example, she said something about food having good protein. When we use to be together she never cared about that but he is a workout junky and she obvisouly got it from him. I also remember him writing on her Facebook wall saying "happy birthday. Your almost there" as in she is almost 18 for them to be together. She said that when they were together he didnt want anyone to now they were together. I'm guessing because of her age. Also when we got together the second time she showed NO EFFORT in trying to make it work. I felt like I was single to be honest. She wouldn't ask to see me or call me at all. I had to do all that. So all this is running through my head and I KNEW that this is what happened but my dumba** just HAAAAD to make sure of it so I unblocked her AND him from Facebook and I went to his page and what do I see!!!!? She f****** likes a photo he posted of him 3 DAYYYYS AFTER SHE LEFT ME THE SECOND TIME!!!!! I thought they hated each other!? He posted a status yesterday and she liked that one as well. YESTERDAY! They are talking again. Probably together again. They are. I know they are. SHE LEFT ME FOR HIM AGAIN!!!! LIED TO MY FACE AGAIN!!! Then for even more hurt and pain I go to her page and see she posted a picture of herself yesterday SMILING! It had one like. Guess from who!!!!? Just guess!!!! Yeah. Him. She looked sooooooo happy. She NEVER smiles in her pictures but this picture she had a huge one . What the f***!!!!!? How could she say all that bullsh**, get back with me, and just go straight to him again and do this to me again!? I don't understand what I did to deserve all this. All I did was love her and cared for her. . She dated me, fell in love, left me for him, started having sex with him, fell in "love" with him as eerything is perfect between them right now because its the honeymoon bull, got over me, was alone because they COULDN'T be together, texted me, I showed up, shes still thinking of him, leaves me for him again. Wow. Talk about a first love story. This girl has done soooo much damage to me. She ruined me. I'll be one those guys who is scared to commit all because of her. She was the first girl I have ever loved and the first girl who has ever loved me at some point. But not anymore. She wants him. He is way better than me. Hes got a better job, he is younger, he has a way better body, better looking than me, and he is more of a "bad boy" she wants. I'm done guys. Seriously. For now, Im way too young for stupid sh** like this. I'm 19. No girl knows what the hell they want at this age. I'm not going to love another girl until I am grown. 26 I'll start looking for love. For now I'm going to live life alone and do my best to get over this b**** who hurt me tremendously. She WILL be back. I know she will try and talk to me again. LONG FROM NOW! When they are OFFICALLY OVER! She will TRULY regret it. HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF! We got together once and she cheated on me once. She regretted it once. She wanted me back once and we got together twice and she cheated on me again twice. She will regret it when this guy does her bad or when her karma truly hits her. She will regret it gain. What I don't understand is why does this guy want her so bad!? He KNOWS SHE LEFT ME FOR HIM!!! HE KNOWS!!! He knows she is a cheater! I KNOW they won't last forever because look how young we are and its stupid young love BS but it just bugs me man. Watch. I'll go NC forever from now on and when they are officially over she will try to talk to me again. Watch. I know she will. She did it once, she will do it again. He leaves to go to the army in Janurary and will be gone for months. What is she going to do then? Wait for him? Is she going to wait until she turns 18 to officially be with him AGAIN? No. Shes with him now. I cant wait fir karma. Seriously. But don't worry people. This was my wake up call. I've learned so much from this and will never ever Go through this again. NC until the day I die. This girl really f***** me up. F****** B****. How could she do this? To someone she use to love? She claims she still loves me and has never stopped loving me she said.
Author ReadMyThread Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 Someone tell me something I want to hear. . Lol. I'm going crazy.
cavalier99 Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 I say NC forever. And dont check her fb. Sorry this sucks for all of us. At least you know what happened now...any more info will drive u crazy. No more analysis. Use the hate to propell u forward..then let it go eventually. Go f-k some new girls...preferably slutty ones that just want to hook up. You'll feel better. Just no attachments
suladas Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 NC is the way to go, move on and forget her she isn't worth it.
Author ReadMyThread Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 I say NC forever. And dont check her fb. Sorry this sucks for all of us. At least you know what happened now...any more info will drive u crazy. No more analysis. Use the hate to propell u forward..then let it go eventually. Go f-k some new girls...preferably slutty ones that just want to hook up. You'll feel better. Just no attachments That's my plan. I'm just scared she will try to contact me in the future. When they are TRULY done. She already contacted me when they couldnt be together, she will again. . Once they are over for good. I know she will and its bugging me. When they are officially done I feel that's when she will come back hard. I will use the hate to move forward, that is smart. I seriously want to tell her I know she left me for him AGAIN and bring out all her lies and tell her I know everything! I know that's the wrong thing to do but it would make me feel better her knowing I know that she left me for him again and lied. Ugh. This is unfair.
Author ReadMyThread Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 NC is the way to go, move on and forget her she isn't worth it. They say people never forget their first love. . I seriously wish I knew how to move on lol. Ive never been in this situation and pain. It seems impossible lol. I hate everything! Lol.
suladas Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) They say people never forget their first love. . I seriously wish I knew how to move on lol. Ive never been in this situation and pain. It seems impossible lol. I hate everything! Lol. Mine was my first to, you won't forget but you will loose the emotion attached to it and be free again. I'm at 4 months it didn't happen overnight or anything. It does seem impossible but times heals everything. I can see my ex now almost daily and feel nothing, I didn't imagine it would ever happen only a few months ago but you will get over her. I was a mess when I came here in September a few months does a lot. Edited November 23, 2012 by suladas
Author ReadMyThread Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 Mine was my first to, you won't forget but you will loose the emotion attached to it and be free again. I'm at 4 months it didn't happen overnight or anything. It does seem impossible but times heals everything. I can see my ex now almost daily and feel nothing, I didn't imagine it would ever happen only a few months ago but you will get over her. I was a mess when I came here in September a few months does a lot. Oh my god I wish I was at 4 months! Lol. That's crazy you can see her and feel nothing though. I feel if even a year went by of NC and I were to see her I'd be back at it. I'm terrified to see or hear from her. Time is all I have. I'd do anything to speed it up. :/.
cavalier99 Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 I know how bad this sucks. My Ex lied to my face multiple times in out 7 year relationship. We broke up and got back together multiple times. In this final breakup she told me about a new guy she liked. She supposidly respected me enought to stay away from him for a week (promised me) while we wrapped stuff up. She lied to my face and went out to dinner with him and was planning on seeing me right after, this is 2 days before we agreed never see each other again. Im still pissed but my only true regret is that I didnt walk earlier and I got really pissed and went off on her about the lies. We finally ended things semi amicably. However, ALL we have now is out Self Respect. Dont be a p-usy. Man up. She isnt worth it nor does she deserve you. Ive said this before in another post. Recover your balls. That is your mission. See bellow. Read my advise on this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/358468-worth-sending-her-e-mail#post4405609 I was thinking. Recovering from a breakup is like a BLACK OP mission (complete and total NC.... Disappear.) MISSION OBJECTIVE: RECOVER BALLS AT ALL COST!!!!! I mean hey...go ahead and cry... but then continue mission. Dont stop for anything. This is the hunt for the Holy Grail and your balls are waiting inside . It is suffering ect. but you know your obejective. Your mission. DONT FAIL!! And NO you are not manning up so she will see this. About the closest you should come to communicating with her is in your own mind when you tell her how There is NO WAY you are getting back together ect. how much better off you are, how great you feel being free and indifferent about her (this should never happen in real life of course). How does all this communication make you feel? Waiting for a relpy. What to send. Reading old loving emails. I can just feel my testicules shriveling up right now. (detete everthing, do a search for her name email address and name and hit delete. Then permanetly delete from the trash folder. Do this for all email accounts, texts, delete her contact info. This is all standard stuff on this site. Just do it. You will succeed! GOOD LUCK SOLDIER!! 2
cavalier99 Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Stop being scared that she will contact you after she breaks up..she might marry the guy..who cares. F Her. You know what you WILL do anyway. DELETE!! DELETE! DELETE!. By then you will have your power back and will possess 2 testicules. And even if you dont. DELETE! 1
aussietigerwolf Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Wow... That is horrible. Just go nc and forget her
Harradin Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 I had my first love this year, similar ages (I was 19 and she was 17 but in the UK so its legal) she left me for my so called friend that she agreed to meet up with , and ironically got angry with me beforehand because I "couldn't trust her" when I said I wasn't happy about it! But the difference in my case, is that she left me for my friend, who in fact is far worse then me. Fatter, no talent, history of backstabbing/manipulating others etc when I race motorsport at a national level, muscular, skinny, at university, treated her right etc so don't see what the attraction is and what on earth he had that I didn't! And the fact she hasn't come back yet. But I know how bad it is, I'm still struggling with coping from mine. You just have to keep busy and try improve yourself, you learn a lot about yourself too during these times! 1
suladas Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Oh my god I wish I was at 4 months! Lol. That's crazy you can see her and feel nothing though. I feel if even a year went by of NC and I were to see her I'd be back at it. I'm terrified to see or hear from her. Time is all I have. I'd do anything to speed it up. :/. She lives next door, I had no choice. The first few weeks especially every time I came home it felt like getting punched in the stomach, and worse because I knew it was coming all the time and I couldn't do anything about it. But it gets better all the time and eventually just stops hurting. But what are you going to do? Nothing you can do about it but move on. Sure there is nothing wrong with being sad, mad, whatever but you just got to move on, it's not the end of the world. There's plenty more women out there.
Author ReadMyThread Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 I know how bad this sucks. My Ex lied to my face multiple times in out 7 year relationship. We broke up and got back together multiple times. In this final breakup she told me about a new guy she liked. She supposidly respected me enought to stay away from him for a week (promised me) while we wrapped stuff up. She lied to my face and went out to dinner with him and was planning on seeing me right after, this is 2 days before we agreed never see each other again. Im still pissed but my only true regret is that I didnt walk earlier and I got really pissed and went off on her about the lies. We finally ended things semi amicably. However, ALL we have now is out Self Respect. Dont be a p-usy. Man up. She isnt worth it nor does she deserve you. Ive said this before in another post. Recover your balls. That is your mission. See bellow. Read my advise on this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/358468-worth-sending-her-e-mail#post4405609 I was thinking. Recovering from a breakup is like a BLACK OP mission (complete and total NC.... Disappear.) MISSION OBJECTIVE: RECOVER BALLS AT ALL COST!!!!! I mean hey...go ahead and cry... but then continue mission. Dont stop for anything. This is the hunt for the Holy Grail and your balls are waiting inside . It is suffering ect. but you know your obejective. Your mission. DONT FAIL!! And NO you are not manning up so she will see this. About the closest you should come to communicating with her is in your own mind when you tell her how There is NO WAY you are getting back together ect. how much better off you are, how great you feel being free and indifferent about her (this should never happen in real life of course). How does all this communication make you feel? Waiting for a relpy. What to send. Reading old loving emails. I can just feel my testicules shriveling up right now. (detete everthing, do a search for her name email address and name and hit delete. Then permanetly delete from the trash folder. Do this for all email accounts, texts, delete her contact info. This is all standard stuff on this site. Just do it. You will succeed! GOOD LUCK SOLDIER!! This is exactly what I was looking to hear and even more. Wow. I freaking love you! Lol. Thank you! This pretty much made my night and I will look at everything you just said when I'm down. Perfect words!
Author ReadMyThread Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 Stop being scared that she will contact you after she breaks up..she might marry the guy..who cares. F Her. You know what you WILL do anyway. DELETE!! DELETE! DELETE!. By then you will have your power back and will possess 2 testicules. And even if you dont. DELETE! Your right. This scareness will evaporate within time. Then it will turn into humor that she would be trying to talk to me again. Thanks.
Author ReadMyThread Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 Wow... That is horrible. Just go nc and forget her Oh your telling me! Lol. I'm the one who got played twice. Cheated on me 2 times with the same dude lol. Imagine the pain I'm in. Oh! And on top of that this is the FIRST girl I have ever loved in my 19 years of living. Now imagine how I'm going to feel when I enter my next relationship with someone. I'll be terrified. She did some serious damage to me I'll tell ya lol.
Author ReadMyThread Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 She lives next door, I had no choice. The first few weeks especially every time I came home it felt like getting punched in the stomach, and worse because I knew it was coming all the time and I couldn't do anything about it. But it gets better all the time and eventually just stops hurting. But what are you going to do? Nothing you can do about it but move on. Sure there is nothing wrong with being sad, mad, whatever but you just got to move on, it's not the end of the world. There's plenty more women out there. Oh man. If i were in that situation where she lived next to me, i would never move on. Your a strong person man! Thats good. You are 100% right! I can't wait until I'm at 4 months! Lol. I'll feel like James bond by then lol. Ugh. Pushing everyday.
suladas Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Oh man. If i were in that situation where she lived next to me, i would never move on. Your a strong person man! Thats good. You are 100% right! I can't wait until I'm at 4 months! Lol. I'll feel like James bond by then lol. Ugh. Pushing everyday. I wish I was, up until that BU I never knew I had feelings like that, i've been the coldest person ever I have had family die and not shed a tear almost feel bad because of how little I cared actually, nothing ever bothered me. But the BU I had a hard time not crying even at work it was horrible. I barely slept for weeks I was a mess. Trust me it was not easy, I did not handle it well. That's why I don't judge how anyone else handles there's, I know how rough it is. Plus the way I see it, it was probably one of the worst ways to get over someone especially, any BU after this should be a breeze. Plus I think part of the first BU is you think you'll never find someone as good, by the 2nd and 3rd BU you realize there will be plenty more people, and it shouldn't affect you as much. Ya it becomes a great feeling, about the last 3 weeks has been pretty good. The things to remember is, don't contact it will set you back, don't rush into any new RS it will not help you (going on dates early set me back NOT help), and just do things to keep your mind of her.
cavalier99 Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Your the man. Rock on! She has no power over you! 1
Author ReadMyThread Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 I wish I was, up until that BU I never knew I had feelings like that, i've been the coldest person ever I have had family die and not shed a tear almost feel bad because of how little I cared actually, nothing ever bothered me. But the BU I had a hard time not crying even at work it was horrible. I barely slept for weeks I was a mess. Trust me it was not easy, I did not handle it well. That's why I don't judge how anyone else handles there's, I know how rough it is. Plus the way I see it, it was probably one of the worst ways to get over someone especially, any BU after this should be a breeze. Plus I think part of the first BU is you think you'll never find someone as good, by the 2nd and 3rd BU you realize there will be plenty more people, and it shouldn't affect you as much. Ya it becomes a great feeling, about the last 3 weeks has been pretty good. The things to remember is, don't contact it will set you back, don't rush into any new RS it will not help you (going on dates early set me back NOT help), and just do things to keep your mind of her. Wow. That doesn't sound too good. Well look where you are now! I'm sure your proud about that. I know I would be. How long were you two together and what happened?
suladas Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 (edited) Wow. That doesn't sound too good. Well look where you are now! I'm sure your proud about that. I know I would be. How long were you two together and what happened? Ya it's been tough. As good as it seems, i'm not 100% there she is still on my mind a lot of the time I can just function fine again and not get down over it and just go "meh" for the most part. But i'm still scared as hell about finding someone else as good, but worrying about it doesn't do any good. The constant reminder of her doesn't help. We only officially dated for 2 months, but basically it was much more of hanging out and getting to know each other, I mean our 2nd date consisted of spending the entire weekend together. The thing that made it tough on me was she pursued me for nearly an entire year after I moved in, and how serious it got so fast. It ended I am pretty sure because she didn't see where it could last long term being 35 and having kids, and me being 23 just didn't see it working, mostly because she felt that it wasn't a good decision for me to be with her. I was crushed because I wasn't sure either but thought we would talk about it, instead of just getting dropped one day. The thing that absolutely killed me was a month ago seeing her with someone I assumed at the time she was with, I found out later it probably wasn't but it felt like getting dumped all over again. The problem was until that point the way she ended things was because she didn't want to be with anyone, nothing to do with me so seeing her with someone else killed me. To this day I don't know if I could handle seeing her with someone else. Oh well, life goes on. Edited November 25, 2012 by suladas
Author ReadMyThread Posted November 25, 2012 Author Posted November 25, 2012 Ya it's been tough. As good as it seems, i'm not 100% there she is still on my mind a lot of the time I can just function fine again and not get down over it and just go "meh" for the most part. But i'm still scared as hell about finding someone else as good, but worrying about it doesn't do any good. The constant reminder of her doesn't help. We only officially dated for 2 months, but basically it was much more of hanging out and getting to know each other, I mean our 2nd date consisted of spending the entire weekend together. The thing that made it tough on me was she pursued me for nearly an entire year after I moved in, and how serious it got so fast. It ended I am pretty sure because she didn't see where it could last long term being 35 and having kids, and me being 23 just didn't see it working, mostly because she felt that it wasn't a good decision for me to be with her. I was crushed because I wasn't sure either but thought we would talk about it, instead of just getting dropped one day. The thing that absolutely killed me was a month ago seeing her with someone I assumed at the time she was with, I found out later it probably wasn't but it felt like getting dumped all over again. The problem was until that point the way she ended things was because she didn't want to be with anyone, nothing to do with me so seeing her with someone else killed me. To this day I don't know if I could handle seeing her with someone else. Oh well, life goes on. Man reading all that is making ME pissed off lol. That sucks man. At least you disnt know the guy you seem her with after. That would have hurt even more but you inspire me on moving on! You sound like your doing pretty well which makes me know i will soon lol. I don't see how someone can even start with someone if they know its not going to work in the end. Heartless girls I swear.
suladas Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 Man reading all that is making ME pissed off lol. That sucks man. At least you disnt know the guy you seem her with after. That would have hurt even more but you inspire me on moving on! You sound like your doing pretty well which makes me know i will soon lol. I don't see how someone can even start with someone if they know its not going to work in the end. Heartless girls I swear. Lol if it helps you that's good. I didn't know him, but it still hurt. I actually went stalkerish after that and found him on her friends list on FB after that, and honestly didn't think it was more then friends at first seeing as they were friends on FB for over 5 years but who knows (ya I know it's bad I did that but I really wanted to know). I seen him there again today and got pissed off/sad again, not as bad as last time but still hurts. Just be easier if I knew what the deal was. I mean if she thought she could do better and wants someone else, i'd tell her good f**king luck and not care. Ya I just don't understand it. Head over heels one day, then cold as ever the next. Telling me how her kids really liked me all this stuff. It wasn't a complete blindside, I mean a few times we talked about the age difference and she tried to push me away, but still didn't see it coming. The worst part was even during the BU and even to this day my gut tells me her feelings about me never changed, and she pushed me away thinking it was best. But whatever it's in the past. Ya man you'll be fine eventually. Besides for some setbacks it gets better all the time. Women are f**king crazy.
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