Can you really be friends with your ex?

[Mspink702]

Hey guys. I was wondering what everyone's opinion is on staying friends with your ex. My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. It wasn't a bad breakup although the circumstances were kinda f.ucked up. He was in California visiting his mom who was sick and ended up meeting A woman and cheated on me and then decided to move out there claiming he needed to be there for his mom but I know he moved there to be with her. Anyways I was mentally prepared for this breakup for a while because our relationship wasnt working anymore so when it happened I was more relieved then anything. So since he's been gone we have been in contact every few days or so just to say hi and see how things are going. I have started talking to a new guy and my ex knows this and he knows that I know he has a girlfriend. So things with us are cool. But my friends are telling me that exes can't be friends and I'm stupid for staying In touch with him and I should stop talking to him. They say I cant heal if im still talking to him but I already am healed. I have never been this happy in my life then I am right now. I am finally single and free and independent and its a great feeling. So I want to know everyone's opinion. I know that we are not going to get back together and that is not even something I would want so that is not why we are still in contact. I guess I really don't have any reason to stay in contact with him but he says that he always wants to be my friend because we were friends first before we started dating. What do you think? Be honest with me please. Oh and Happy Thanksgiving

[ItxWillxGetxBetter]

If you have no feelings for him then Yes. If you have an inkling of a feeling for him then NO.

 

People do not do friends with their ex because they take the time to heal and get better. Being friends when you have feelings prevents you from moving on and it hurts you in the long run.

[KatZee]

That's the kind of friend you want? The kind that cheats on you, and then lies about it? Not only did he lie, but he threw his sick mother under the bus as the excuse.

 

Ew, ew, ew.

 

With a "friend" like that, who needs enemies? You're only reinforcing his bad behavior. If you're "so cool" with him after all that, he has no reason to treat women differently and he'll continue screwing people over.

 

If that's the kind of friend you want, knock yourself out, but I really don't see the point.

[movingon12]

Hey guys. I was wondering what everyone's opinion is on staying friends with your ex. My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. It wasn't a bad breakup although the circumstances were kinda f.ucked up. He was in California visiting his mom who was sick and ended up meeting A woman and cheated on me and then decided to move out there claiming he needed to be there for his mom but I know he moved there to be with her. Anyways I was mentally prepared for this breakup for a while because our relationship wasnt working anymore so when it happened I was more relieved then anything. So since he's been gone we have been in contact every few days or so just to say hi and see how things are going. I have started talking to a new guy and my ex knows this and he knows that I know he has a girlfriend. So things with us are cool. But my friends are telling me that exes can't be friends and I'm stupid for staying In touch with him and I should stop talking to him. They say I cant heal if im still talking to him but I already am healed. I have never been this happy in my life then I am right now. I am finally single and free and independent and its a great feeling. So I want to know everyone's opinion. I know that we are not going to get back together and that is not even something I would want so that is not why we are still in contact. I guess I really don't have any reason to stay in contact with him but he says that he always wants to be my friend because we were friends first before we started dating. What do you think? Be honest with me please. Oh and Happy Thanksgiving

 

I think it is possible, uncommon, but possible. The fact that you describe feeling "relieved" rather than unhappy/heartbroken etc about your breakup suggests you had probably already 'left him' emotionally before he broke it off - so it would be much easier for you to move on than for other people.

 

In your case, I think you need to ask yourself -

 

If you didn't have 'the new guy', would you feel depressed talking to your ex - especially about his new girlfriend?

 

Are you talking to him simply because you want to prove that he hasn't hurt you and you're happy without him?

 

If he asked to try again, would you say yes?

 

If the answers to each of those is 'definitely not', then you're probably one of the rare people who can stay friends (though as the previous poster said, I'm not sure why you would want to be friends with someone who treated you like that).