Last email of girlfriend

[hdvries86]

Hi there,

 

Well it's finally over after 8 weeks of trying to win her back my hope is totally gone so what am I gonna do now?

 

The story is I was with this girl for 2.5 years of which we lived 2 years together. The last year was getting worse and we had loads of arguments. Mostly the arguments came from me and I disrespected her a lot.

 

The problem is this girl is so amazing and actually way out of my league. She had a very big social live and did loads of fun stuff. She also had a good career was sweet and did everything for me. Now i'm left alone and my life will never be the same.

 

The problem is I can't forgive myself for treating such a nice girl so badly. She was all I ever hoped for and now I just ****ed it up. I'm really not idealizing her right now but it's really how I feel. I just can't let her go. Maybe my own self esteem hit rock bottom atm and that's something I need to work on right now.

 

At first we had some contact but she wanted me to leave her alone. The times I contacted her she did cry a lot on the phone so there we're still some feelings. After a few ignored messages I gave up the contact and left her alone for quite some time.

 

So after a while I found out she deleted me on facebook, also all our mutual friends and even changed her phone number.

 

I worked really hard on myself and the things I did wrong in the relationship. Read lots of books about relationships and even followed a few workshops.

 

So I was guessing over and over again why she blocked all contact with me, it was pretty drastic changing the phone number. Would she still love me and it would make her feel bad when she hears from me again? Did she hate me and does she never wants to do anything with me again? It was making me really crazy so I decided to send her one last email on her work because I really needed to know to move on. The one thing I knew she didn't block me on her work email.

 

So I posted a message like I really worked really hard on myself and seen the mistakes I made. The thing is I didn't know how to contact you so I did it this way. I would feel terrible if I didn't do anything to make this work because we only live once and this life I want to spend with you. I know you might be angry or upset so I don't expect you to send anything back. If you don't want to respond this is the last message I send and leave you alone for the rest of your life.

 

Well offcourse I didn't expect a reaction from her side because she allready cut me off totally. After a few hours I logged into my mail and yes I got a reaction. And it was the reaction I thought she would give. It was something like:

 

This is the last email I'm gonna send to you, after this you will never hear from me again. I also hope that i'm never gonna hear from you again.

 

I think it's great now that you really worked hard and see the things you did bad in our relationship. I hope you learned from this and don't do this in a future realationship.

 

I just want to let you know that you really did everything you could to get me back. I'm telling you right now I don't want to be with you in anyway anymore. I'm still 100 percent behind my decision and am much happier right now even though this situation.

 

I really want to make something out of my life and move on and build something great for myself. I think you should move on also and to do this really cut all ties in anyway possible!!

 

I really wish you all the luck in the world and hope you do great in the future. I just don't want to do anything with you anymore so please don't reply on this email.

 

 

 

Well that's about it, this is what I just had to know. I can move on now and let go of all hope of coming back together. This just put my emotions really back. It's really harsh to hear this from someone you still love so much.

 

So have anyone of you got through this and how did you deal with it?

 

Greetings.

 

Henk

[Hulsey]

Hi mate,

I know pretty much exactly how you feel except im not at the part were its 8weeks down the line just yet.

I sympasise with you massively and all i can say is, go out there have fun for a while and realise who you are.

Never change who you are completely for anyone because the one who matters wont mind and will be with you for who you are.

 

Best of luck pal

[robaday]

Mate, I got the same email from mine, harshest thing I ever heard from her.

 

But ya know what, 3 months later, Im really getting in a very good place - Ive got a spring in my step, Ive started dating again, and am starting to find strength in me, as well as new aspects of my personality - i.e. Im way more positive than Ive been in the past, way more excited by the future.

 

It takes time, I know its really really difficult to accept, but shes done the right thing for both of you here, shes been honest and explained that she thinks you could both be happier without each other......and thats not a rejection as such, its giving you a chance to find someone you are truly compatible with. Also, if you love her, you should want her to be happy - think of it this way - the person you love is trying to find her own path, and ya know youd surely want the best for her.

 

Sometimes I look at it like a time thing - the person you fell in love with isnt the same person as they are now - theyre different people, they were "the one" for a long time, but now they arent, and someone else is.

 

Sorry if that comes across as easier said than done. I think of mine everyday. But I know in my heart, that there is no way we could ever work out, and she isnt the same girl anymore, and to be honest, im not the same guy.....

[Hurt Irish guy]

i agree with Hulsey 100%, it is hard and no one doubts it, but it is time for you to get the head straight and make a goal for yourself, try make a plan and say in six months i am going to go on the holiday of your dreams, keep the head up bud

[ItxWillxGetxBetter]

Wow...that was a harsh email. My suggestion is to cut ties and move on. Do not ever contact her again. You definitely do not want another email like that. Here is what my friends told me when I was going through what you are going through now. Focus on yourself...take this time to improve you. Being hurt doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. When we are hurt we grow.

 

Just to give you an example....I was in a 9 year relationship that just ended about 6 weeks ago. I was devastated. We were engaged and she left me because she didn't feel like she was "in love" with me...blah blah blah....Basically that was code for there's another guy in the picture which there was. At the time, I felt that she was the best I could ever get and that there was no way I can do better. 6 weeks of improving myself (losing weight, taking care of myself, career, etc) I started to get my confidence back and began to realize that I can do better. This is just a hiccup in my life. Do I still miss her? Yes of course. Do I still love her? Most definitely, but I have realized that I can be happy without her and everyday that goes by I get stronger and stronger. You will get there just work on yourself and you will be fine. Keep busy and try things you never thought of trying before. Stay strong and good luck.

[movingon12]

(Actually I thought she sent a remarkably polite and composed email, I'm not sure I *ever* managed to bring myself to send my ex anything quite that civilised).

 

But OP - learn from it - what worked in that relationship and what didn't (not just what you did right/wrong but also what made you happy and what made you unhappy in the relationship so that you know what you're looking for next next).

 

Give yourself time before you start seriously start dating again. My ex started dating straight after we broke up (actually to be fair, he started dating *before* we broke up...) and he's still a mess - I suspect partly because he never gave himself time to sort out his head out.

[moveONorStay]

I think it's a mature and civilized email, also.

 

At least she gave you some closure and that should be enough to let you move on. The fact that she made herself clear, no mixed signals without being callous was, I think, being very respectful to you in the process....I wish my ex was mature enough to do that!!