Seraffa Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 I have a big problem; I am an INFJ "introvert" with some extroversion in me, and I moved back home and my house is amidst a lot of neighbors I am jealous of, because they all moved in while I was away and are turning this into a "rich" neighborhood while I have to care for my mom at home (who has dementia) and struggle and struggle with her just to even have repairs DONE on our historic bungalow, and I feel scared, ashamed, suspicious, wary, and helpless of the others living around me.......because mom's house is slated to be sold to someone probably just as rich by her lawyer, if anything further should happen to her, or if she has to be "placed" in a home. I'm just as good as my neighbors, I think. What can I do in this situation to lessen my fears and have some real support around me? This is a big city and a lot of the people I like interacting with live 10 miles or more from me............ and I work hard and long hours a lot of times just to be living from paycheck to paycheck...........I need solutions.
FitChick Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 No, you don't believe you are just as good as your neighbors so you resent them. This is your problem, not theirs. Most of them were probably just as poor as you at one point in time. The ones who were born into comfortable circumstances were not at fault any more than you were being born into less comfortable circumstances. Most people are nice. Get to know your neighbors!
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 It does sound like your problems are mostly within you. I don't think that strangers on an Internet forum are going to be able to help you stop feeling scared, ashamed, suspicious, jealous and helpless - you have serious problems and it sounds like you might need to talk to a counsellor. Caregivers need support, and it's probably very unlikely that you are going to find it in your neighborhood in your current state of mind. Does your mom have relationships with any of her neighbors? If she's lived there since your childhood it seems likely. Make friends with those people. Stay in close touch with your own good friends, even if they are not living near you. Maybe if you can get past YOUR pre-conceived notions about your neighbors, neighborhood, etc., you could participate in some kind of local charity group or something like that (Habitat for Humanity, for example) and connect with some individuals that way. I don't know if that is possible when you are working and caring for your mom at home, timewise. 1
ja123 Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I agree with the above on your neighbours. But you should lookn into getting a lawyer and find out what you can do financially, vis-a-vis- the house. It might have really good resale value, if fixed up, and you could make some profit to help get you out of a financial hole.
GLDheart Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Dollar store. X-mas Cards. Get some. "Happy Holidays from your Neighbor!! Signed ________X"
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