WhatsYourDamage Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 (edited) I am a 19 y.o Sag female He was a scorpio . . . after 2 months short of 20 years being a virgin i was swept off my feet by a young ma who sold me a dream...treated em so well & really made me think he wasnt like the rest...although i have been i previous relations that went on for months-year and never felt comfortable having sex...i gave this guy my virginity is less than a month(surprisingly i still dont regret this) i also did things like spend a large amount of money for his birthday even though i have no job(im i school, stupid i know)...drew pictures of him..a lot of stuff id never do and he wouldnt find many girls doing..he became my boyfriend and everything was going well..i began to get scared of my feelings he told me he would never leave..he met my family introduced me to his mother...made me meet his friends did things that he did with no1 else.... a few weeks in i noticed his connection with a girl and i brought it up he lied about it...this was a red flag..me being very impulsive i got angry and told him i didnt feel comfortable with their relationship ad i couldnt continue ours under those circumstances..he begged me to stay & told me they were just friends...i had all intentions of coming back but i did not believe him..low and behold 1-2 weeks later when i tell him im sorry for being paranoid maybe my intuition was off and we should fix it..he starts acting weird...he tells me no he said i hurt him it was all my fault i didnt treat him good or appreciate a "good ma" when i had one he tells me i can only blame myself etc...at this point i shocked bc if he loved me how he had claimed a week or so wouldnt have changed that..he made me feel really bad and put all the blame on me..said he was a gr8 bf and i mistreated him and he was left empty handed... After feeling bad i tried to get him back...wrote poems drew more pictures...told him i was sorry..i figured he was a good guy and i was wrong so i should court him (this is because i truly believed he loved me and was hurt and deserved this)before i started this i asked him if he had moved on to anyone else..he tells me no..he even says "see your intuition was wrong" as im doing all these nice things for him..he is giving me grief everything nice i do ..he doesnt say thankyou he just says something like...u shoulda bee like this when we were together..or ur still self centered...after a long day of grovelling i go home and decide to re add him on fb...where like a big slap in my face i see that he infact WAS dealing with the very girl i asked him about the very girl that caused the breakup....not only was i right to end it but he lied about moving on , he lied about why he did not want to try again...he made me believe my intuition was off and that i was the one who messed it up. he guilt tripped me...made me BEG for him back and even while i was doing so he would continue to make me feel bad... Our relationship wasnt that long its just the loss of my virginity that has me so hurt...he turned out to be a huge liar i know i moved fast and i dont normally do that ..there was just something special about him...everything he said to me was a lie...the whole time we were together that was who he wanted...after i saw the evidence that he was dealing with this girl and lying to me i sent a text with a little quote for something he had written about her. he didnt answer so i called...he ignored like 5 of my calls...so i wrote him a long text telling him i caght him and that he had me fooled how he really had me thinking i was the oe to blame when it was him all along i told him karma was a bitch and goodluck with life....he then calls me like 8 times and i ignore them all since he ignored mine...he then texts me "everything cant go ur way dont ever call me again i life"...when i read it i scoffed because after the text i sent it was obvious i had no intentions to...a weight was lifted and i didnt respond.... the next day around 4pm i recieve the longest text i have ever gotten in my life....about 30 individual texts....i read them...these texts arent apologizing...they are telling me how im wrong while still telling me im right basically he is saying its all my fault and how this girl (who he has only met i the last week or 2 even less time than me) makes him feel ways i never did how he went through a depression bc of me and she fixed it how he never said we could fix it (he did) basically all the texts were doing were telling me he was dealing with a girl and he never said he wasnt (even though he EXPLICITLY said he hadnt moved on at all and wasnt talking to anyone) basically the text admitted his wrong but somehow everything was still my fault. its like he has a complex where he thinks he can do no wrong...like he is womens saviour..that he goes to them to fix them and they all hurt him and puts ALL the blame on them...when in reality he is just as ass...i didnt answer the 30 texts...ive gone full NC...since he said never to call him again in life....my NC goal is just to forget he exists...im asking for advice...words of encouragement..anyone gone through something similar? if so what happened? ..can this be called GIGS? do you think he will want me back ...like what should i expect? Edited November 22, 2012 by WhatsYourDamage
KatZee Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 You were "baited" plain and simple. No, his case is not GIGS, he's just an a.sshole. He's a very skilled player and you fell for it hook line and sinker. You need to have better "BAITER" radar, this way when these guys come up to you sounding all nice, flattering you, saying the right things to butter you up, you can say, "wow you're really full of s.hit." A baiter: Backstabber Abuser Imposters Takers Exploiters Reckless This is defined by Dr. Phil (I bought his new book, and although none of what he wrote is news to me, it's definitely a good book to have, and I think you'd benefit from it since you were conned by this guy from day one. It's called Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World Nothing he did was your fault. You however did enable his poor behavior by continuing to stay with him and then go over the top with your professions of love (notes, poems, pictures, your virginity) even when you had red flags waving in your face. You need to learn to listen to your gut and your intuition because it is rarely wrong. Don't wish for this guy back. He used you. He took what he wanted, he exploited your feelings for him, he abused your kindness, he was a faker from day one only telling you what you wanted to hear to get in your pants... Lesson learned.
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