Would you breakup with someone because of a physical abnormality?

[Grey13]

I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this whole situation and I want outsider opinions.

 

I dated a guy for 7 months, it was intense, quick, there was talk of moving in together and marriage, when we both ended up in different parts of the U.S. I was to relocate to where he was and we were looking forward to it.

 

I have a hair disease and wear a wig. I got a new one and went from pixie short to mermaid long. I decided it was time to tell the guy about it. When I told him, he said he loved me and didn't care. I flew down 2 weeks later to finalize some details about the moving arrangements. I stayed for a few days and told him I was uncomfortable wearing the wig for such long periods and I didn't want to sleep in it. He said he preferred if I kept it on because it made him uncomfortable for me to be without it. After he saw me without the wig, he withdrew, physically and emotionally. He spent my last few days there avoiding me at all costs and when I flew back home, he was unreachable for a week. He finally called and said it wasn't working, school was too much and he just didn't have time for dating anymore and he was sorry. I told him I knew it was because of the wig and to just admit it and he did and said he was sorry but it was done.

 

I'm still in the angry phase of the breakup mourning. It's been a month and I hate him. Is there anything physical that would cause you to breakup with someone you claimed you loved? Is what happened normal? I'm aware there are so many worse things that could have happened to me but this is my first time being heartbroken. I don't know why I'm so hung up on this guy. He cheated on me a few days after we started dating and I forgave him. Completely unlike me. I need guidance.

Edited November 22, 2012 by Grey13
Adding details

[Minka333]

This guy was shallow to begin with. He already cheated when you just started dating. Shows a lot about his character. Since he never really cared deeply, it's but natural that he wouldn't care about your condition.

 

Be glad you dodged a bullet with this one. Not all men are the same. You will find someone who will look beyond your imperfections and love the person behind it.

[lovebug1234]

sorry to hear =( you'll find somone that'll accept you for who you are =0)

[LostOne1]

I think honestly it doesn't feel odd when you love someone an find out they have abnormality. But I think then you realize you love them and it shouldn't matter.

 

It kinda makes me think of the time I thought my ex was pregnant (found out later she wasnt). I was scared as hell, but after a day I thought hey if it happens.. then I'm still gonna be an awesome dad and boyfriend/husband.

 

So I think it's the same... You freak out at first, but then your feelings kick in and you think it's stupid to not be there with that person. You realize you love them and will be there for them and support them. And then you let them know and you just want to make them as happy as possible.

 

I think if the guy can't accept you for who you are and even after a few days can't realize no matter what he will be with you. Then he doesn't really love you.. and in that case he's not worth it. You should want a guy who will accept you no matter what...

 

There are lots of people I know at school, who are in a wheelchair and have found someone that loved them enough to accept them how they are. I have heard of stories of it being tough though, but they love each other enough to make it work.

 

So find a guy that will fight for you and not leave you for stupid reasons. You deserve a guy that will love you no matter what happens.

[theLWord]

I'm sorry this happened to you. This guy is a real as.shole. You need to try to be logical and know that you are better off without a cheater and someone who would break up with you because of that reason. My ex gf would always say she wanted to shave her head and I told her go ahead and while she didnt shave it, she cut her hair very short. I never cared and wouldn't have cared if she shaved it completely. Hair does not make that person. What if you got sick and needed him by your side? He'll just leave because you are sick and have no hair? It sounds like this guy only cares about himself.

 

Honestly I know it's probably very difficult to deal with your hair disease and wearing a wig, but a lot of women look beautiful with no hair. You will find someone better. The best thing you can do is go NC so you don't stroke this fools ego anymore. Remember it'll get better..

 

And to answer your question, hell no I wouldn't leave someone I love because of an abnormality.. Love is about being loyal and sticking by the person you love. Anything less isn't love.

[Emilia]

You are probably hung up on him because you are frustrated. The fact that he cheated on you shows that he wasn't invested in a relationship with you.