starla33 Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 This guy was a nice guy before we went out, but is now using all this stupid PUA crap on me including over doing it on the Neg's and acting insanely cocky. Not sure what to do in this case. How can I tell him to drop it in a nice way? Should I even bother? He's a good looking guy with a lot going for him, I don't even know why he thinks he needs to say all that crap to girls honestly. To me it comes off so over the top cocky and is turning me off.
somedude81 Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Call him on it. "The PuA stuff is lame and you better stop."
ThaWholigan Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 That's unfortunate. When game goes wrong....... Maybe being a nice guy he felt wasn't working for him in terms of his dating but I understand that the negging and the "cocky-funny" routine is overdone and played out - especially as most guys can't pull it off authentically because it isn't them. Perhaps try 1 of 3 options: 1. Try and be more calm and don't react to his BS or 2. Out-banter him - chances are he can't keep it up for long or 3. Tell him to stop being a PUA lol Either way, if it's a big turn off then chalk this one up to a "not gonna happen".
Author starla33 Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 That's unfortunate. When game goes wrong....... Maybe being a nice guy he felt wasn't working for him in terms of his dating but I understand that the negging and the "cocky-funny" routine is overdone and played out - especially as most guys can't pull it off authentically because it isn't them. Perhaps try 1 of 3 options: 1. Try and be more calm and don't react to his BS or 2. Out-banter him - chances are he can't keep it up for long or 3. Tell him to stop being a PUA lol Either way, if it's a big turn off then chalk this one up to a "not gonna happen". I like him! And I do love the banter and most of it is funny. It's just getting cockier and cockier. At some point you need to move past this it's not the first date anymore!
ascendotum Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Why dont you check some chick websites like cosmo, jezebel or whatever to see if they have articles on how to verbally hose down PUAs. I'm sure some women have blogged about smart alec snappy comebacks for when PUA routines are run on them. (wholigan's #2)
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Just come right out and call him out on it. Be bold about these situations than timid, I can't understand why women are so afraid to cross boundaries with men, isn't this the reason you are dating him, to see who he truly is and what he has to offer, or how well he can play some stupid little game and just stay hush hush about it letting him think he's doing something right that isn't? Another thing is, it's possible he was just nice because he didn't have any confidence...self-confidence, which means with many women, so this might be the little show he has to put on or he thinks he'll lose your interest or this is kind of who he is rather than that "nice" guy. Most guys drop a ball as they get the steam rolling a little bit and know you are interested in them, because before that they'd be scared of turning you away, much like you're scared of bursting his little bubble in fear of him running away or having his ego bruised. If he continues to act this way, then this is just the way the guy is going to be, he's a bit of a douche, maybe even a huge one...so if what he's doing is that much of a turn-off then stop seeing him...but yes yes, I know how hard it is do when a good looking guy who has "potential", which I'm sure many women can attest to doing, but is it really worth it in the end? that's up to you to decide, it's your time and energy, but I think I'm pretty sure we all know the answer, so unless he really screws something up I don't see you realistically walking away unless he keeps going down the rungs of the douche ladder, and even then...who knows, what you're willing to tolerate, however my guess is a lot. 1
Pyro Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 I like him! And I do love the banter and most of it is funny. Tell him that and then add on that he needs to stop with the cocky side of it because it sounds ridiculous and that you aren't some naive little girl and can see through the PUA crap.
yongyong Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 This bitch was trying to game me after I banged her. she txted me 'door is open, just come in' out of blue. (trying to make me jealous) I knew she was going to say 'oops wrong number' yep she did in 5 minutes. I called her out on it. I just wanted her to act normal but she wasn't getting it. Tell him you don't have to do this and you like him the way he is. If he doesn't get it, then you should drop him. some people are just dumb.
veggirl Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Starla from your posts you are the dream girl for a guy like this. you need to call him out and tell him to quit it and assert yourself. That "neg" s.hit would rub me the wrong way straight away. There is banter and wit and then there is douchebag. I don't take negative teasing as a flattery, not sure why anyone would.
Emilia Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Just come right out and call him out on it. Be bold about these situations than timid, I can't understand why women are so afraid to cross boundaries with men, isn't this the reason you are dating him, to see who he truly is and what he has to offer, or how well he can play some stupid little game and just stay hush hush about it letting him think he's doing something right that isn't? 100% if he is offended, he needs growing up and probably isn't LTR material anyhow
Eddie Edirol Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Tell him straight up that he doesnt need to use 100% of the PUA stuff on you. He still will to a degree because he might suspect that you will try to have power over him. But tell him hey look, youre good looking enough and have alot going for you, you can tone it down a bit. The PUA stuff does explain how to know when youre laying it on too thick, but if you dont say anything he might not know to cut the shyt.
dasein Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 If his negging is obvious, and his cockiness is also obvious to the point of being an issue, he's not any kind of PUA or player, and likely it's just his true self coming out. If you don't find that attractive, move on.
griffinchicken53 Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 I didn't know about this. I hope I haven't come across like that.
Tara247 Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Drop him like a hot potato. Seriously, any guy who has to resort to ridiculous PU stuff to impress a girl, is really immature.
Shaun-Dro Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 This guy was a nice guy before we went out, but is now using all this stupid PUA crap on me including over doing it on the Neg's and acting insanely cocky. Not sure what to do in this case. How can I tell him to drop it in a nice way? Should I even bother? He's a good looking guy with a lot going for him, I don't even know why he thinks he needs to say all that crap to girls honestly. To me it comes off so over the top cocky and is turning me off. Maybe it's your imagination. Ever thought about that? Unless we can see an example or two of what you're talking about, this is just psycho-babble.
Recommended Posts