omarthedude Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Okay so right off the bat, I've been dating this girl for over 6 months, and we are madly in love. I trust this girl with every bit of my heart and she trusts me too! Basically what happened was a while back, I asked her to send me some pics so that I can put them on my phone (my phone's camera is busted) and she's always going 'I will when I'm all dressed up.' She wants to look good for me. After telling her about how I feel about her looks, and that she's beautiful and how much I love her. She understood and from then on, started sending me a few pics...on HER terms. I'm not a clingy person, if she needs time to get over something, she gets it. Lately though, she tweeted an animated picture (a gif) of herself laying in bed with nothing but bra and panties...and she winked at the camera like...really seductively...I calmly talked to her about how it bothered me that she'd put something like that on the internet for people to see...and when I ask her for pics...I get excuses. I'm not afraid to confront her about something I don't like or if she does something I don't approve of (I've done it before), but this kinda bothered me. I felt like a...a stalker...or someone breaching her privacy. She by the way, told me that 'You can't tell me what I can and can't do...'. -_- Which threw me off...a lot. Am I right to feel that way? I just need motivation...
Onionator Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Uhh yeah slutty pictures on twitter is definitely not a sign of a great girl. Her comment about you not being able to tell her what to do shows she still has that rebellious college girl side to her. In the end the goal is to find someone that will fulfill your life forever by compromising. This girl is not it right now. Probably too young and immature to be ready for anything more meaningful than a simple relationship in her 20's (or however old you are, young i assume) Oh and by the way, it's her not you. 2
Author omarthedude Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 Uhh yeah slutty pictures on twitter is definitely not a sign of a great girl. Her comment about you not being able to tell her what to do shows she still has that rebellious college girl side to her. In the end the goal is to find someone that will fulfill your life forever by compromising. This girl is not it right now. Probably too young and immature to be ready for anything more meaningful than a simple relationship in her 20's (or however old you are, young i assume) Oh and by the way, it's her not you. So would you advise me to do? She also said, 'If you keep bringing things like that (the pictures) up, really, then you can't let go of anything.' This is a girl I've invested so much in. I want to keep my integrity intact! LOL
Onionator Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 So would you advise me to do? She also said, 'If you keep bringing things like that (the pictures) up, really, then you can't let go of anything.' This is a girl I've invested so much in. I want to keep my integrity intact! LOL Well you can either tell her that you're the type of guy that expects a little maturity from a girl you're dating and that you would appreciate it if she didn't do what she did because it makes you uncomfortable and see what she says to do or you can keep your mouth shut and be unhappy( do not recommend ). 6 months isn't alot though man I just broke it off with a girl I've known for 6 years almost because of immaturity and dishonesty and while it does suck ALOT and I wish she wouldn't have been like that I do know that finding a good girl that wouldn't do the things she did will come with time.
GSB81 Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Oh man. Girl logic at its finest. You have to keep asking for pics, then she puts one on Twitter.
Author omarthedude Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 Well you can either tell her that you're the type of guy that expects a little maturity from a girl you're dating and that you would appreciate it if she didn't do what she did because it makes you uncomfortable and see what she says to do or you can keep your mouth shut and be unhappy( do not recommend ). 6 months isn't alot though man I just broke it off with a girl I've known for 6 years almost because of immaturity and dishonesty and while it does suck ALOT and I wish she wouldn't have been like that I do know that finding a good girl that wouldn't do the things she did will come with time. True. Thank you so much! Also, just a quick question... When she tells me that she's with her friends and that she's going out or doing something with her friends, I respond by being understanding. On the other hand, when I'm away for a couple of hours with my friends, I feel kinda insecure. I want her to not take me for granted and be afraid of losing me. How do I do that? How do I stand up to her just like stood up to me when I questioned her slutty pics?
todreaminblue Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 You need to be honest with her it really isnt appropriate for a woman to put animated or real time pics of herself up on twitter in bra and panties.....wouldnt do i tin a relationship o rout of a relationship and i have a past.......you have every right to state what you feel you can handle and what you can tif she has problems sending you pics but can post that up for a billion to see...its a bit strange....be honest with what you accept and what you dont....and if she pulls the brat card tell her she cant expect you to put up with that...be strong stand up for what you believe in if she is a good woman she will respect that and if she doesnt listen and chucks a tantrum, then she isnt compromising herself she is compromising your values...there will be issues more than just pics further down the line....best wishes.....stand true to what you value....deb
GSB81 Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 True. Thank you so much! Also, just a quick question... When she tells me that she's with her friends and that she's going out or doing something with her friends, I respond by being understanding. On the other hand, when I'm away for a couple of hours with my friends, I feel kinda insecure. I want her to not take me for granted and be afraid of losing me. How do I do that? How do I stand up to her just like stood up to me when I questioned her slutty pics? This is something you have to establish from day one. Let me guess, she doesn't seem to care where you are or who you are with when you go out with friends, right? When you text her, does she reply immediately? I bet you do.
Author omarthedude Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 This is something you have to establish from day one. Let me guess, she doesn't seem to care where you are or who you are with when you go out with friends, right? When you text her, does she reply immediately? I bet you do. Well, I've done my homework and made sure that she knows I've got other things to do. And no, she never really cares unless I'm out at night, she asks me when I'll be back. Usually, she'll say something like, 'I'll let you be with your friends.' Here's an update: I said that I didn't appreciate that picture being there. And that it's against my values and beliefs to let the girl I've invested so much in act like that. She said, 'If my family doesn't mind it, you shouldn't either. I like it, if you don't, you don't have to stay.' What should I do?...Oh and you guys are awesome!
todreaminblue Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Well, I've done my homework and made sure that she knows I've got other things to do. And no, she never really cares unless I'm out at night, she asks me when I'll be back. Usually, she'll say something like, 'I'll let you be with your friends.' Here's an update: I said that I didn't appreciate that picture being there. And that it's against my values and beliefs to let the girl I've invested so much in act like that. She said, 'If my family doesn't mind it, you shouldn't either. I like it, if you don't, you don't have to stay.' What should I do?...Oh and you guys are awesome! So she would rather have a picture up on twitter than go out with you, she would be willing to let you go.....call her bluff and leave, if she lets you leave, she wasn't serious about you or invested in the relationship at all,in the first place... tell her "so that picture of you in bra and undies is more important than our relationship? and twitter has racier photos of you than i do...."....nice one..just because her family likes it doesnt mean you have to agree with them, as i said call her bluff and if she is willing to let you go for that....it wouldnt be worth you compromising anything to be with her, find someone who values you more than tweeting animated pics.......deb
Author omarthedude Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 So she would rather have a picture up on twitter than go out with you, she would be willing to let you go.....call her bluff and leave, if she lets you leave, she wasn't serious about you or invested in the relationship at all,in the first place... tell her "so that picture of you in bra and undies is more important than our relationship? and twitter has racier photos of you than i do...."....nice one..just because her family likes it doesnt mean you have to agree with them, as i said call her bluff and if she is willing to let you go for that....it wouldnt be worth you compromising anything to be with her, find someone who values you more than tweeting animated pics.......deb I told her how I felt and that 'I have values and expect a level of maturity from those I date and if you think I'm gonna stand such indecency and such immaturity, you're wrong, love. Bye.' Now she's mad and telling my friend how I can't stand her 'having fun'.
todreaminblue Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 I told her how I felt and that 'I have values and expect a level of maturity from those I date and if you think I'm gonna stand such indecency and such immaturity, you're wrong, love. Bye.' Now she's mad and telling my friend how I can't stand her 'having fun'. If her idea of "having fun" is upsetting you doesnt that tell you something and telling you that you can leave if you dont like it also is a tell.....stand your ground.....if she is running to her friends when you have arguments and acting immature in general I dont think she is ready for a relationship..... if she comes running back to you saying she will take the photo off twitter....i would consider this fact, and that is, whether she takes the photo away or not, her attitude is not in relationship mode its in single do what the **** i want and dont you forget it buster mode....i think you should have a heart to heart before you decide to take her back if she does come back..i advise you to consider that seriously..best wishes....deb 1
Later82012 Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 She is not really into you. Save your heart and start looking and find someone that is really into you and respects you.
dasein Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 She said, 'If my family doesn't mind it, you shouldn't either. I like it, if you don't, you don't have to stay.' What should I do?...Oh and you guys are awesome! Leave. You can do better by throwing a penny in the street and dating whoever it hits. Has no respect at all for you or the relationship. Animated bra and panties on twitter? Sorry, quality people worth your time don't do this kind of thing.
GSB81 Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 The key word here is "inconsiderate." She's doing something that bothers you which she could easily fixed but refuses to. She's all about what SHE wants, not what's good for the relationship. She said if you didn't like it you could leave, so I'd leave. There's no reasoning with someone like this. She just doesn't care. Been there in your shoes and could have saved myself a lot of heart ache had I simply walked away. Good luck man.
Author omarthedude Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 If her idea of "having fun" is upsetting you doesnt that tell you something and telling you that you can leave if you dont like it also is a tell.....stand your ground.....if she is running to her friends when you have arguments and acting immature in general I dont think she is ready for a relationship..... if she comes running back to you saying she will take the photo off twitter....i would consider this fact, and that is, whether she takes the photo away or not, her attitude is not in relationship mode its in single do what the **** i want and dont you forget it buster mode....i think you should have a heart to heart before you decide to take her back if she does come back..i advise you to consider that seriously..best wishes....deb I called it quits with her. I think I'm better finding someone who is willing to compromise something to stay with me. Funny thing is, I didn't even tell her to take the picture down. All I said was, 'Muffin, I don't appreciate something like that being up on Twitter or ANYWHERE on the internet. It's just not cool for other guys to be feasting their eyes on a girl I love so much. Don't you agree?' And she shows me the door. It's kinda funny how I'd compromise and change myself for someone...and after 6 months of love, laughter and making up, she choose a picture over me! I know for a fact that she's gonna spend the next 2 weeks crying over me...she did that before when we had an argument. I never expected her to even agree with me. A simple, 'I understand. Won't happen again.' would have done the trick but no. I want her to miss me and tell me so, because then I'll know that I at least mattered. At the end of the day, I've decided to take this time to make myself a better man. Someone a girl will long to be with. 2
dasein Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Be strong when she begs and cries, NC. You don't need someone like this in your life at all.
Author omarthedude Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 Be strong when she begs and cries, NC. You don't need someone like this in your life at all. I know that I need to be strong. It's just that I've invested so much in her. This is a girl I thought was perfect for me. It feels awful!
salparadise Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 She said, 'If my family doesn't mind it, you shouldn't either. I like it, if you don't, you don't have to stay.' Now she's mad and telling my friend how I can't stand her 'having fun'. She's staking out her claim for dominance in the relationship, and apparently telling you exactly what you can do if you don't like it. Your choice is to put up with this crap or kick her butt to the curb. In the long run, the latter is the better choice. It's not the pic that's the real problem, she just told you that the relationship is to be on her terms or not at all. 1
todreaminblue Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 I called it quits with her. I think I'm better finding someone who is willing to compromise something to stay with me. Funny thing is, I didn't even tell her to take the picture down. All I said was, 'Muffin, I don't appreciate something like that being up on Twitter or ANYWHERE on the internet. It's just not cool for other guys to be feasting their eyes on a girl I love so much. Don't you agree?' And she shows me the door. It's kinda funny how I'd compromise and change myself for someone...and after 6 months of love, laughter and making up, she choose a picture over me! I know for a fact that she's gonna spend the next 2 weeks crying over me...she did that before when we had an argument. I never expected her to even agree with me. A simple, 'I understand. Won't happen again.' would have done the trick but no. I want her to miss me and tell me so, because then I'll know that I at least mattered. At the end of the day, I've decided to take this time to make myself a better man. Someone a girl will long to be with. Its going to be hard for you, i invested fifteen years of me into a relationship and i worked my ass off to keep it going and i got lost in there somewhere,effort unappreciated and devalued.... i compromised my values my beliefs and my sanity to keep a family together....in the end he left to eb with someone else....it doesn't help to compromise no matter how hard it is to say enough si enough....it just needs to be done....trust me years of unhappiness are not worth it,you are lucky to not invest any more time or energy .....feeling second rate sucks.......it is much better those years and effort go into finding a meaningful relationship where you are treated with respect understanding and compromise is mutual and last of all a relationship where the girl does really love you for you and would never consider upsetting you as being you spoiling her fun....best wishes....hope you find the girl who is right for you....deb
Recommended Posts