Zelias Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 I'm 23 years old, told by many people that I'm a good looking guy, somebody worth dating, however, those were just mere words, reality does not live up to it this way. You see, I've never been with any girl in my life, I live alone in my apartment, have a good looking car (Subaru WRX 2011), work as an automotive technician, really nice pay, my parents really don't want anything to do with me, I HAD friends until of course they found their significant other, nobody contacts me anymore, I've sent them a few messages through facebook, given a few phone calls, but no reply, I guess you really figure out who your friends are at a later age, I don't drink, smoke, or do anything else, I'm just a guy living on this planet, lonely. I've done some local community service to help people out and play my part, hopefully in this process I would meet someone, no luck. From time to time, I attend clubs hopefully I could meet someone, just drunk chicks, they're in their own little world. I'm happy and not happy, when I head out to stores or just outside walking for a stroll, I see all these happy couples holding hands and seing them hurts me emotionally. I can't stand it, it hurts too much. Although I'm 23, and still have time, come to think of it, I really don't, my life consists of going to work, come home, go to sleep, and go to work, sure I get things in between there, but without friends or any contacts, what really is there to do. However with all of this going on, my sister had shown me some of her friends she knows who are single and looking, so I took a peek, some beautiful girls, but one in particular stuck out, she was something, someone I never met, this girl stole my heart, and I haven't figured anything about her, she has no boyfriend, looking, so I added her on facebook, 2 days later, she accepted, that day was exciting for me, but with all good things some come bad, I can't talk with her over facebook, can't even say "hi" for god's sake, too afraid that she will de-friend me, she is a beautiful gal and from time to time she posts pictures, and whenever I'm feeling down, just looking at her makes my day better again, although I don't even know her, so I asked my sister if she gets out, she said yes, and can easily introduce me to her, the bad part comes in.............I can't do it, I can't because I'm shy, afraid I will mess up, afraid I will lose something, the weird part though is that she has so many similarities with me when she posts on her facebook account, it's too weird, the worst thing that can happen and that would destroy me, is if she ends up in a relationship with another guy, then I'm screwed any advice would be greatful
ooglesnboogles Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Look, you've got what appears to be a great opportunity with a great girl and it's sitting right there on the table for you. I know how you feel about being shy. Until about a year ago, I still had trouble talking to other people (not just cute girls, mind you). Even last night, I paced the hallway in my apartment for 10 minutes before calling the girl I like. So I know how nerve wracking it can be. I also know how painful it is to have someone you really like, someone with whom a relationship would be a great thing for both people, and see them get swept up by someone else. It hurts like hell. And if you had a chance and didn't take it, it hurts even more. In my loneliest nights I always remember this one girl from high school. Drop dead gorgeous, incredibly smart, great personality, and she was all but begging me to ask her out. But I was too nervous. And now I live with that. Over the past year, I decided to just force myself to get out there more. Hasn't produced anything of use so far in the form of a girlfriend, but I've made huge social strides. Hell, I called a cute girl and asked her out yesterday! A year before I would have talked myself out of that! The first steps are tough but you get through em and it works out for the better. So take this advice: You've got a great opportunity. It's scary as heck, but there aren't too many situations that are better than what you've got (sister willing to hook you up). Use that to your advantage. First of all, if she friended you, the least you can do is send her a message or something and try to strike up a conversation. Even better, it's online. It's harder to do face to face. Second, have your sister help you out. I would have to think that if you do something silly when you first meet this girl, you might at least have a fallback net of your sister saying "Hey, he's a great guy and he was just really nervous. Give him another shot!". Lastly, think of this: If you don't at least try to contact her, you've lost her anyway. There's a quote by Sidney J Harris that I like, it goes: "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."
2sunny Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Ask her on a date! You gotta start somewhere! Living with regrets sucks... So ask her!
Gunny376 Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Looking back over my life of the last 55 years? Most of the "Just got to have her/get with her" women I meet over the course of my life? I could have and in some cases would have been better off leaving them tha' Hell alone and going about my merry little business and life! That's not to say that I have regret, I don't because each and everyone of them had and served a purporse at the time in my life. Each and everyone. I can actually look back and see where they were "perfect" at that particular time in my life ~ in terms of my mental/emotional/pyschological growth ~ development. Its absolutely impossible to lose something you NEVER had to begin with. That's an absolute fact ~ and absolute fact coming from one that doesn't believe in absolute facts per say? NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVE YOU WITH NOTHING! You've nothing to lose by contacting this girl. I would suggest that you adjust and mature your attitude about women. Understanding women is easy! 1. There's no understanding women! 2. The reason there's no understanding women? Because they're all the same, AND they're all uniquely different into and of themselves! 3. The reason for the above is because they're HUMAN BEINGS like you and I.
aussietigerwolf Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 It scared the crap out of my fiance to ask me out but he took a chance and did it
PinkSapphire Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Please ask her out. I just had to see this guy I have had a huge crush on for over a year become in a relationship on Sunday and it tore me apart. I have been crying and depressed (so silly, I know) since. Thing is, I knew him in real life and really tried to send him signals. I know he liked me, but when I met him I had a bf. Broke up with the bf (totally unrelated) last November, but I am not sure I made it clear to this guy before he slowly faded out of my life. Don't sit around and wait. I wish now I had been more direct and just asked him out, even though that never works well for girls. Knowing I missed a chance with a cute guy who was NICE is killing me, but so be it. Nothing I can do now, but YOU still have a chance. Send her a nice message and find common ground. A guy is currently doing this to me who friended me through mutual friends, and I think it is sweet. Just don't be creepy in the messages and she won't be offended. Might lead to a real life meeting. What have you got to lose? (NOTHING!)
mysunflower Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 ask her out, she is single and looking, so do her a favor by asking her out. I hope you guys will become a lovely couple, you sound like a nice guy.
trevzilla Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 better to ask and no for sure and have no regrets. If you don't ask, there is zero possibility that it will happen.
Keenly Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 . I wish now I had been more direct and just asked him out, even though that never works well for girls. This is not true, almost every relationship I have ever had was because a girl approached me.
trevzilla Posted January 5, 2013 Posted January 5, 2013 This is not true, almost every relationship I have ever had was because a girl approached me. I suppose it depends on where you are. Women in my town tend to be extremely passive and there is almost no chance they will ask you out.
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