ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Hey Guys, Just wanted to know how everyone dealt with first holidays without the ex. Recently broke up in a 8+ year relationship about 2 months ago. This Thanksgiving is going to be weird. Anyone have any experience on what I should expect tomorrow. I think so far I'm progressing very well with NC and all but i'm not sure how tomorrow will affect me. Advice?
Chi townD Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 surround yourself with friends and family. Engage everyone! Keep busy and enjoy the holiday. Folks are gonna know that you're hurting and they're gonna be the rock you need to lean on. Let them be that rock. And ENJOY their company!
michael21 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 I am in the same boat, as you already know and trying to figure out how to deal with tomorrow. It also would have been our 10 year anniversary tomorrow which I think is making me dread tomorrow even more I guess all we can do is stay positive, even in these unfortunate situations we still are fortunate to be alive and healthy. Have you made plans for tomorrow to do something? That's the only thing I can suggest, I really didn't want to do anything but knew that I had to in order to keep moving forward.
Author ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted November 21, 2012 Author Posted November 21, 2012 oh Man..10 years...and an anniversary...thats rough Michael. Sorry bro. I haven't really made any plans. My friends asked me to spend the time with them but I graciously declined. For some reason, I thought I spend it just hanging out on my own. I thought...hey maybe if I can get through this holiday on my own then I should be well on my way to progression right? I have my family so I can always go there if crap hits the fan. What do you guys think? Wishful thinking? Am I going to be devastated tomorrow? I am definitely not looking forward to tomorrow. A little scared...got to say....but I think I'm moving on pretty well. Thoughts?
michael21 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 I was thinking of spending it alone as well, but then again everything I have read is that being around family and friends helps recovery more than being alone. I am sure your family would be really happy to see you and spend thanksgiving together.
IT Geek Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 I was thinking of spending it alone as well, but then again everything I have read is that being around family and friends helps recovery more than being alone. I am sure your family would be really happy to see you and spend thanksgiving together. Problem is that some people don't have family, and I'd feel like an intruder spending Thanksgiving at a friend's place with their family. So, I'm having Boston Market tomorrow...alone.
Author ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 yeah...I definitely agree with that. A bunch of my friends asked me to come but I feel like I'm intruding as well. Boston Market isn't bad. lol. I think I'll do Boston Market tomorrow as well. =)
LostOne1 Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 I was thinking of spending it alone as well, but then again everything I have read is that being around family and friends helps recovery more than being alone. I am sure your family would be really happy to see you and spend thanksgiving together. I would say it's best to go to a friends house or visit family. To be honest it's a better feeling I think.. for me Christmas is coming up and new years.. I normally would spend sometime with my ex.. but not this year it seems. So I am planning to spend Christmas with family and new years probably at a friends house. I hear clubs and all charge outrageous prices for drinks on new years eve! I kinda wanted to go out and just surround myself with people everywhere... but I'll see when that time comes. Problem is that some people don't have family, and I'd feel like an intruder spending Thanksgiving at a friend's place with their family. So, I'm having Boston Market tomorrow...alone. There are tons of places to enjoy thanksgiving. I always have seen groups online that allow anyone to come.. usualy it's like $10 to get in and have thanksgiving with a bunch of strangers. But at least you get to meet new people and enjoy it.
Consultant Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Yeah it's tough. Been doing a great job not thinking about my ex/meeting new people/dating again until today. The holidays always bring back memories.
GetHerBack Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Don't think it's weird to want to spend the time alone, even if it's a holiday. Personally, I love my privacy, and being alone after such a long relationship can and will be difficult (especially during this time of the year!) Go find a Thanksgiving buffet out there somewhere and pig out.
9Lives Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Your not alone. I dumped my boyfriend for lying and trying to cheat and I miss him so much right now. I know I did the right thing but it is still so hard. I went to feed tr homeless today and hanging with family and friends. I don't want to be alone cause it makes you think about it more and he is out too so I shouldn't sit at home.
Author ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 Damn...these holidays suck! The worst part about it is this is just the beginning. There's freaking Xmas, then New Years and finally the dreaded Valentines day! Ugh! I want to shoot myself now. Just one day at a time right. Ironically, I dont miss my ex as much as I thought I would...and this is coming out of a 9 year relationship. We have been BU a little over 6 weeks now and I've initiated NC for about a few weeks....not sure when but its doing loads of good. I think about her and what we use to do today but I dont miss her....not sure if that makes any sense. I hope you all are doing well too. These holidays can be trying times especially for us who have recently exited a relationship....but we can get through this. Stay strong guys!
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