Trisb4u Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 (edited) My 6 and a half year relationship ended. Everything seemed fine three weeks prior for her birthday and a week before that we went ice skating as a family holding hands. She has two kids from two previous relationships age 13 and 16 that were always at home with us on the couch. She said we are not intimate anymore. We are just like friends. I had no idea i was hurting her as she never told me what she wanted from the relationship it was just the end. She was saying things like she didnt know if we should have a break or call it a day and she didnt know if she was just putting walls up. I said i wanted to change that and that she is beautiful as she thought i didnt fancy her anymore. I sent her a letter a week after the end and some flowers a week after that. Then i found out she was sleeping with a mutual friend who was just going through a breakup himself and had been going round to her house. I didnt think anything of this as i trusted her whole heartedly. Am i to blame for the end? Is her new relationship GIGS or rebound i dont know. I was always a caring, considerate and loyal boyfriend. I always asked how she was and how her day went. Edited November 21, 2012 by Trisb4u
Chi townD Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 If she didn't know to take a break or just end it and then she jumps in the sack with someone else while you're trying to reach her? Sending her flowers and a heartfilled letter and then she screws some other dude. That's coldhearted dude. Time to heal and move on, dude. Go NC on her. If she was able to do that to you with no consideration to your feelings or knowing that what she did would probably come back to you should give you and indication as where you stand in her heart. I'm mean, she did this to you in JUST DAYS!!! Kind of makes me think that something was going on prior to your break up. Heavy flirting maybe. Until she pulled the trigger and kicked you to the curb so she could invite this dude into her bed. She was justifying her reasons with saying your just like friends, you're not intimate....blah.....blah.... She was trying to convince herself that it was okay to hook up with someone else because apparently you were a bad boyfriend in her head. This wasn't your fault. If there were problems in the relationship and no one else is involved a woman would tell you about it. A LOT!!! She made a choice and it was to kick you to the curb so she could test drive another dude. This mutual friend isn't your friend. How did you find out about it anyway?
Author Trisb4u Posted November 21, 2012 Author Posted November 21, 2012 Thanks for that mate I needed to hear that. I will lay the story out for you. The guy she is with now sells Cannibis, has no job and used to slap his ex girlfriend about even when she was pregnant. He has anger problems, he even got barred from the job centre. Who the hell gets barred from the job centre. I used to buy off him I know stupid for smoking it but have totally quit now. I only seen him when I wanted some. Will call him an acquaintance rather then a friend. His ex girlfriend told me she had seen messages off my ex on his phone. My ex knows all he has done. My ex was a shoulder to lean on for his ex. His ex came round hers once in tears because he smashed her phone up and punched holes in walls at there home. Then for some reason my ex started being his shoulder to cry on. I didn't think anything of it as she could be a caring considerate person. I went up to hers once and he was there I thought it was unusual but again I trusted her. God she made me feel bad when she ended the relationship and blamed everything on me.
Author Trisb4u Posted November 21, 2012 Author Posted November 21, 2012 Could this be classified as GIGS?
blue_jay_bird Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Could this be classified as GIGS? Doesn't matter nothing can be labeled. Nothing fit's into pretty little box's. When people ask is this GIGS, what they are really asking is; Will my bf come back. Once i pull out my crystal ball ill tell you. NC, and don't look back. You spent most of your relationship, looking out for her. Look out for yourself. Be selfish.
Author Trisb4u Posted November 21, 2012 Author Posted November 21, 2012 Thanks blue jay bird you are right.
Chi townD Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Could this be classified as GIGS? Ummm.... I think it's something more along the lines of something I call "bad boy syndrome". He sells and he's dangerous and he treats women like dirt. BUT SHE CAN CHANGE HIM!!! (at least that's what she thinks). Look, what I KNOW that she's doing is blameshifting. Making you the heavy on why the relationship failed. Truth is, she's the one that left! She's the one that failed the relationship because she didn't even try to save it. She jumped ship and jumped right into someone else's bed (which was probably her intention from the start.) This wasn't your fault. It was her choice. You're just the victim of her choices and if what you say is true, soon she'll be a victim to this douche rocket.
Author Trisb4u Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 (edited) You are right. Thank you everyone for your honest opinions. He is exactly how i described him. Dont get me wrong if you first meet him he will be the nicest guy in the world to you but i knew his problems so always kept him at arms length so to speak and was careful about what i said to him. I thought she would of learned her lesson about people like him. She had been involved in a couple of relationship with violent aggresive drug dealers from where she used to live. She ended up moving to the area i lived in to get away from one guy. I was there for her from day one and helped her get settled into her new house. I felt like i was the best thing that had happened to her (not saying im perfect) and we could work anything out because i loved her so much and she loved me (so i thought). Not that i would want her back anymore after the hurt she has caused me. The sleepless night, loss of appetite etc etc. I have the tendency to always see the good in people. I always treated her nice and the kids too. I bought so much for her house from TV's, fridge freezers and even paid if she ever wanted to decorate because being on benefits doesnt give you alot of money and i worked so was generous. She never had a job as she got pregnant with her daughter at 15. She could of got a job for years from when the kids started school but i didnt want to pressure her. I also put up with so much flack of her but i still stayed around because my love was unconditional. She used to say things like it's my house my rules so i endured watching all the soaps and if i tried playing a little game on my phone or something she would say i was ignorant even though i was sat next to her and if she wanted to talk to me i would listen. She wore me down but i still stuck around. She always had a problem with me spending money on my car (my hobby). Used to say crap like you love your car more than you love me. She would get in a grump with me if i went home to wash my car first before going to hers. She had no hobbies or interests. Her life revolved around Jeremy Kyle and doing things for her kids and family who she would always complain to me about but she continued to do errands for everyone. She never seemed to be happy with what she had. A nice house, two wonderful kids and a boyfriend that truly loved her. I never asked her to do anything for me. She would get so stressed about every little thing in her life from paying her bills (weekly), somethings the kids had done to something that her sisters did wrong. She used to live near her sisters before she moved around my area and then eventually years later one sister moved up and then the other a few months after that. Things between us were great before they moved up. I feel like they poisoned her mind because they were both single with an army of kids. She would complain about me to them but never talk to me, i never knew this i found out after the end. Why do nice guys finish last? She would never leave her kids to be on their own in the house. If we ever went anywhere we had to get back so fast because of the kids or the dog. They would of been ok being 15 and 13 they werent stupid. I feel like she only likes the butterflies you get at the start of the relationship (honesymoon stage) and when the relationship evolved she got bored. I now feel like i did well to of lasted so long with her. I was her longest relationship. I never had any chances in the relationship as everything seemed peachy to me. How wrong was i. Relationships sometimes need to be worked on, i know this as i was brought up well with two loving parents who are still married. None of her family seem to be able to stay in a relationship very long. All marriages ended in divorce. Do you think she will ever regret her decision and get in contact with me again? Edited November 22, 2012 by Trisb4u
Recommended Posts